< ND/TCOYF/MCP Wording & Ideas 02.27.06
---
Day 41 of 100:
I'm so scared, I cannot be nice about it.
Getting along with bitchy people.
It can be easy to communicate with friendly, and don't-rock-the-boat people.
They are either actively trying to impress you / get you to like them, that
they don't count.
I want to write articles for a newsletter or radio or tv station.
a big one, tho. If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it big.
"
If you've got to think, you might as well think BIG!"
- Donald Trump
Wanna see if you're emotionally intelligent, and skilled in the areas of
Rookie stuff
Out-of-control Feelings. Unprompted outbursts, or intense crying spells.
(actually, this isn't even Rookie, it's more dumb-shit. We don't have room,
or time, for those who insist on being totally, completely Clueless about how
they act, and how their actions effect others. Get a clue. If you've got one,
great, spread the word... but if not, dude, please, Get one!
Epiphany
when I'm "right on", I get shivers, or more Tightness, and power
surges, that grit my teach, intensify my whole upper body, clench my lips and
jaw, and raise me an inch or two up off the seat with clinched butt muscles.
it's very cool. I think I need to live there (here) more often. I believe it
is a VERY clear indicator that I am on the right path.
How do you KNOW, fer sure, that you are on the right paths in your life? Know
how I can tell? They FEEL Right. I can add some Logic to it, but I don't have
to add much… 'cause it just FEELs so Right, or so Wrong, that I know.
It's ok to Fail, in small increments, but it is NOT Ok to Fail the BIG Game
of Life.
It's not Ok to hurt people you love, under the guise of Being Honest.
It's not Ok to blast the wrong person.
It's not Ok to use people, without agreement.
It's not Ok to throw your feelings around, unconscious and uncaring where they
may land.
It's not Ok to judge others... well, I take that back. It IS Ok to judge Behaviours
-- of yourself or others! just try to give the person behind the stupid behaviours
a break for being clueless and ignorant (and that includes yourself). We still
have to function in Reality... there are many, many stupid, clueless, arrogant,
know-it-all schmoes out there who choose NOT to see how their actions impact
other people. As loving codependents, we forgive, a lot, maybe too much, in
the name of Love and continuity. but we do trudge on.
It's not Ok to be an ass, even if you're married. (especially!)
It's not Ok to be a bitch, even if you're married.
It's not Ok to put you being Right, over you being Close. Closeness is the
key... go for Closeness, and the rest will all fall into line.
It's not Ok to end our lives GRUMPIER than we are now.
It's not Ok to live our lives alone, without any real Love.
It's not Ok to live our lives for the wrong reasons.
It's not Ok to do things that are not Ok. Now THAT's Personal Power, and THAT's
taking control… if you WILL NOT ALLOW yourself to do things that are
Wrong to you, you will ALWAYS FEEL FREE, and Righteous, and Whole. (no fair
lying to yourself, or being consciously incompetent very long… 'cause
deep down, you know. you know who you are. you know your own covers. you know
how to talk yourself into stuff. you know how to manipulate yourself. you know
how to quickly, and masterfully, Justify whatever it is you're just getting
ready to do. deep down, you know you. sometimes really deep… but still
not unreachable.
Couples: don't go for being Right. or Smarter. or Wiser. or Righter.
go for Closeness, and Intimacy, and Togetherness.
at work we teach teams to:
Commit to a Goal, for the purpose of Closeness.
and it works at home, too
Commit to a Relationship, for the purpose of Closeness.
Active, knowingly, eyes-(and-heart)-wide-open, ready to Be Real, do the best
you can to share yourself, your fears, your angers, your joys and your tears,
with your significant other. A commitment to Bond, totally, from head to toe
and back again. to the depths of your being, that you choose this person to
Trust, as completely as you possibly can (but intelligently, too).
Teaching Teamwork to Couples!
We need to be able to Translate anger and bitchiness into fear, habit and powerlessness,
self-preservation.
try it.
what's your biggest gripe about your mate?
we are gonna choose one big Issue to work on here at class.
but the point is to Teach you how to Fight.
how to do an argument.
how to
---
I have been teaching people how to Take Control of their Feelings & Emotions
for almost 20 years now, and I can tell you, IT WORKS! Want to heal your past?
You've gotta Feel it to Heal it. Want a happier, more successful future? Your
Feelings are the key. Please learn what you can about your Feelings & Emotions
and they will SET YOU FREE!
---
start a conversation with people
---
I want you to work on one thing, and one thing only.
A Business Plan for 2GetHelp.com,
People Helping People. Together, everyone wins!
Membership site, coaching site, 24x7 Emergency Help site.
first year of income.
cover my salary and yours.
sell memberships
sell coaching services to providers
distribute your Newsletter for them… will help format it, create it,
send it.
2GiveHelp.com
$$ for development
same plan as before, but done right.
animated character, Grizzybel, as host.
hire a professional designer… Corinne, from Romania
---
I submitted a plan, like Jerry McGuire did, to change things. to make it different.
to all work together. To about 400 coaches, not long after coach t’s
death.
15 requested my whitepaper. 5 coaches contacted me directly, and I spoke with
each by phone. I started joint writing projects with 2 of them, which both
fizzled out, but that's pretty darned good, I think!
---
Kristen,
yes, I will pay you $250 for March, if you will help me do just that.
Oh, and continue updating 100Tips once a week, and 100Quotes, up to 100 (no
rush).
---
hey, I'm in a wierd place right now.
kinda stuck between here and there.
ok, so now we have some things started.
I gotta do that article.
I lost my biggest client the other day. well, the job I was doing was officially Done (and successfully, and on time, I might add).
I need a page for Testimonials!!
I'll be collecting them the rest of my life.
An .ASP, customized per subject (below), 1 page, 1 table
if you liked something I did for you, or you learned something from me, let
me know, please.
My #1 Love Language is about Words {both hearing and reading), so I feel Loved
by anything kind you'd like to say to me, or about me.
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/testimonials.asp
http://www.MattPerelstein.com/testimonials.asp
http://www.2GetHelp.com/testimonials.asp
http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com/testimonials.asp
---
List Debts
---
I need some cash to settle some my debts.
I need like $50K, to get it all settled. Finish the garage and pay off the
FTB, and ShowPlace Homes, and the credit cards.
If I could relax about that, I am going to make a killing.
I have over 2,000 on my mailing lists now. this is my following.
over 30,000 people have read my blog site.
---
2.26.06
I have a new hero as of today… Hunter "Patch" Adams, M.D.
Free Clinic in West Virginia.
---
I want the services to be Free (or as low a cost as we can possibly do.)
I want corporate, personal, foundation or some kinda sponsorship, but the
product is basically Free.
everybody helps. community organizations.
not 'case workers', just helpful ears, ready to listen, hear, hug, validate,
LC&C
---
what do you DO with your Feelings? and your Emotions?
where do they go?
What makes them go away?
How do I CHANGE them from angry to glad, sadness to joy and depression into
Personal Power?!?
Do you think you'll figure that out on your own? I hope so.
but if you need help, or want to be Shown, then join us.
you could re-invent the wheel.
I'll tell you what… I am just a little bit ahead of you. that that little
bit is HUGE.
I don't know everything, and I don't totally have ALL my shit together yet. … maybe
I never will, I don't know.
and I don't care to know.
'cause LIFE is what Happenin'! It's not about know ALL the answers… it's about ENJOYING THE JOURNEY!!
we are ALL going to have to deal with our Feelings, sooner or later. (actually 24x7, 365, since we were old enuf to be aware of ourselves… and they've been unconsciously Forming, and molding, and growing since then -- and getting stopped up, and unexpressed, and pent up, and ignored, and denied.)
WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!!!
There ain't no 2 ways about it.
WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS!!
I am a feelings coach.
I help people make their lives LOOK, and more importantly FEEL, GREAT!
I can help you feel More, and I can help you feel Better.
people come to me when they're down and they're hurting.
I help them through the Feelings.
I teach them about their Feelings, how they started, how to manage 'em, what
to Do with 'em, on a daily basis.
I give them some basic concepts, attitudes, beliefs and direction to help it
all make sense -- to eliminate the Mystery of it all.
and people Feel Better.
and people Feel More.
and people Allow their Feelings more.
and people Understand themselves and their lives, more.
and people Can Make Themselves do things they don't want to do.
and people can CREATE SUCCESS in their lives, their families and their relationships
and people can ENJOY their lives to the fullest extent possible along the way!!
damn, what more do you want?
"that's good stuff right there, I don't care who you are, that's good stuff."
anyway, you owe it yourself to check out what we're trying to Teach you.
it doesn't cost anything.
there is no hidden agenda here.
we're trying to share with you what we've learned along the way.
---
We help people feel better about themselves and their lives.
---
Here's how I see it working:
JOY
jesus
others
yourself
NOPE -- doesn't work that way. (actually, it works just dandy that way, for many thousands and millions of people who believe strongly in their Religion. if it's working for you, please continue).
The ND Power Prayer
God, grant me the Strength to
Keep doing the stuff that's working for me
to Stop doing what's not working
and the Awareness to know the difference.
Priorities
Jesus
Self
Others
1 Make sure I feel Loved
2 Make sure I'm safe, and Protected
3
---
I suggest we make it even bigger. Not just a drawing, but a Contest. bring
your issues to the table come interview with Doc, and you guys start working
on stuff, together. you lead, winner follows. We're on the Radio! damn, I hope
it keeps continuing. will announce it again next week. Extreme Emotional Makeover
winner on the show, on the phone therapy and coaching working together. wanna
learn it ALL in one place, we provide Therapy and Life Coaching TOGETHER. Doc,
the therapist, will open your eyes (sometimes it ain't good news) to exactly
what's going on with you (but it will be true). and
Matt, the coach, will take you by the hand (and kick your butt, when necessary)
to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN in your life (what's standing in your way? Let's get
Past it!) is it Emotional baggage from the past, or Limiting belief systems
where you don't believe in yourself, or are you in a horrible working or living
environment, or some other issue? GOOD NEWS: It doesn't really matter what
the pain is About, or what the Belief is, or what Environment you've got yourself
in, THERE IS A WAY OUT. Help is On the Way. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE,
Any more!!
---
I need to develop the program, the environment, to accentuate intensive positive
emotional growth. --- direction: help the winner figure out what they will
work on at ND. prep 'em, and point them, and show them then go to ND
blast it out
then followup with multiple groups... one-on-one therapy and/or coaching, online
and in-person support group.
---
When dealing with resistance you must be an effective listener, using behaviours
that don’t come across as being defensive.
The right thing to say in this circumstance would be:
1.) Let the resistor vent:
Paraphrase back what you heard (“What I think I’m hearing is that …”
Ask questions to get more clarity ("Tell me why you feel this way?" "What
happened last time?" "What are all of the things that are making
you resist?")
Be empathetic (“I’ve experienced this too, it’s very frustrating.”
Stay neutral as much as possible (pay attention to your body language and tone
as they are the most critical indicators of one’s attitude or bias)
2.) Help the person who’s resisting move to a solution.
Ask: “What would make you a willing participant this time? Under what
circumstances or with what assurances will you consider taking up this challenge?"
Notice how the right way of facilitating through resistance involves using
the ‘ask’ instead of the ‘tell.’
---
imho, one of<strong> THE most healing things </strong>you can do
for yourself, AND the <strong>#1 best thing you can do for your Future,</strong> is
to get in touch with your <strong>Personal Power</strong>.
<em>"Freedom is actually a bigger game than power. Power is about
what you can control. Freedom is about what you can unleash."</em>
<
em>- Harriet Rubin</em>
That quote is true for business Power... what you can Control OUTSIDE of you... but Personal Power, <strong>that's about what you can control, and unleash, INSIDE of you</strong>. I'm talking about changing the INside, so that you can do what you can to change/fix/improve the Outside.
<strong>"I Have Personal Power!"</strong> is one of the strongest statements a person can make.
<em><strong>Good news: </strong></em> The more you find, the more there is. The more we delve into ourselves, our spirit, our psyche, our emotions, our unconscious Beliefs... we find MORE, not less. We find MORE Joy, <strong>MORE Love</strong>, MORE Peace! Yes, it's intermixed with the pain, anger and sorrow, for now, but those can be relieved to make even MORE room for MORE Love.
Get on it.
<
em>- Matt</em>
---
busting out of emotional barriers, limits
a feeling, once felt to it's extremes, will never
a mind, once expanded by an original idea, never retains it's original shape
a heart, once expanded by full expression of Feelings, will never retain it's
original limits.
Once you
---
for personal calls, turn away from the computer.
for sales calls, stand up.
---
I feel like..., or I feel that... are probably not Feeling sentences... they're
probably Thoughts or Judgments.
esp I feel like __'in you!
music already has the words and the feeling and the music pre-connected for
me, so I don't have to take care of that.
---
Radio, live call-in show, 90% sure
one sponsor so far. Bilstens, Insurance
when we come to fresno, go on show with me.
Fridays 1-2PM
on for sure. hopefully every Friday.
---
Great idea: Spalding teams with NBA All-Star Game to try to break 4 b-ball
Guinness world records -- very smart!
http://www.nba.com/allstar2006/guinness_060215.html?rss=true
---
I believe our 'personal events' fire in this order...
Thought -> Feeling -> Meaning -> Attitude -> Decision -> Behaviour
-> Outcome
As a computer programmer, much of programming is about having things Happen
at the right time, in the right order, and on the right subject. We have what
are called "Events" that happen at different times... like when a
report opens, or whan a mouse is clicked... these are Events.
I just realized that we also have what I'll call Personal Events.. that fire
off at certain times and underlie our happiness and behaviours.
I believe our 'personal events' fire in this order...
Thought or Event -> Meaning ->Feeling -> Attitude -> Decision -> Behaviour
-> Outcome
Event happens: someone laughs.
we have a Thought "hey, they're laughting at me."
we put a Meaning on it "I am different and weird and I don't fit in."
we have Feelings about those Thoughts: unfair, powerless, anger, fear, sadness,
alone
we have an Attitude about the feelings: not good, paranoid thoughts, better
to stay safe
etc.
---
We can help you feel better about the event (less pain, more understanding)
and then we can help you feel more
---
Boundaries are not about Drama.
Drama is actually DIS-respected, and easily DIScounted.
Powerful use of voice, energy, body language, feelings, eyes, THAT's what's
Respected.
You don't show them all you've got, until it's time.
but you let them know it's NOTHING to mess with.
If you live an emotionally unsafe environment, stay cool. stay closed where
you need to.
and don't show them all you've got… except once in a while.
You if you yell or scream or do the Disgust thing all the time, 24x7, you have
no weapons left…they already see your worst, have learned to deal with
it, hate it, disrespect it, and thereby allow themselves to Ignore it.
Drama is easily brush-off-able, especially over time.
good clean honest, personally-responsible, coming-from-I, powerful, love-based/boundary-based LOUD, POWERFUL VOICE is fine, if that's what it takes.
Let 'em know who they're messing with. Once in a while, let 'em know you will NOT be messed with. ever again.
---
I'm developing my written personality, my on-stage presence and personality
and teaching styles, and next is my audio, or on-air personality and style.
---
I wonder why Darrell wasn't available all of a sudden, and why 3-4 people didn't
show up for class this time.
does it mean I'm doing something 'wrong'?
or does it just mean that it's not Time, yet? to slow down. to wait. to see.
to grow. to grow up more.
---
we're going to have an active Affiliate program where all can make money by
selling our products.
we'll make it a simple, common-sense, multi-level marketing thing.
all MLM means is a Commission structure. If A gets an override on B's sales,
that's nothing fancy. build Team and everyone wins!
---
when someone's really hurtin' we need to have some steps that we can take them
thru… now… to relieve some of the strong feelings…
or at the very least, figure out what the current issues and feelings are,
and what childhood events and feelings these are being triggered by.
---
wow. I just read this article and realized that I live with very high levels
of Fear. and I "run adrenaline" quite often… probably to
addictive levels.
damn.
read this:
http://al.turtlecounseling.com/blog/_archives/2005/4/13/578458.html GREAT article
on Fear!
explains how we live on Adrenaline.
Too much fear CAN kill us.
Adrenaline can also kill us.
Our body can easily manufacture enough Adrenaline to kill us.
but Adrenaline is "additive" rather than addictive. the more you
get, the more you can stand.
as a Power drug, it can make you feel brave, strong and unstoppable.
so, my take on it…
- use it wisely… but do use it.
- push yourself. INCREASE your ability to both stand, and manufacture this
important WEAPON in your arsenal.
GIRLS, you especially!
us guys use Adrenaline as a drug of choice more readily.
Oh… so that must be one of the reasons why Sports are so good for you… your
body FIRES UP to a point, just short of death, and the more often and more
completely it does so, the MORE YOU CAN STAND, so the Better your Best can
be. wow. that's too cool. I'm sure many sports folks have known this for years,
but I just learned it. whoa.
THAT means I get to push people even harder than I do. I can, and do, push
myself to great feats… so can you.
the article also said they studied soldiers and how their prolonged exposure to high levels of Fear, actually Trained their bodies to be able to stand more and more adrenaline, and to produce more and more. They said this made the longer-term soldiers waaay more valuable, sometimes called "bizerkers" (which is a good thing while fighting a war).
soooo, what if we trained people to Push themselves, emotionally, not with
Fear and Scaring people to death (which actually works), but what if we were
able to substitude Emotional challenges, and exercises designed to increase
our level of Adrenaline manufacture.
competitive sports is the best way I know of (I play racquetball, head-to-head,
2-3x / week… and it's my #1 favorite thing I do in my life. Now I see
why. I'm an adrenaline junky. same with the all-nighters I do once or twice
a week (3's my record, just last week). I only do them when I am scared of
not getting my work done and losing my job. I "run the fear", so
my body produces the adrenaline and off I go… coding and typing like
a mad-man all night long.
it's all fear-based. good grief.
no wonder I have trouble breathing sometimes. I knew I was in fear a lot, but
it's just hitting me how much.
well, so now what? (Awareness is a great step, but it's just the first step.) Notice. Identify. Accept. Express. Release. Replace. Rejoice !!
Notice.
Identify.
Accept.
Express.
Release.
Replace.
Rejoice !!
damn.
post this. (and back to work on KPMG and E*TRADE.) 2.9.06 10:08am
---
mailto:2GetHelp.com-146532@autocontactor.com 100 Tips in 100 Days AR 1.20.06,
Kristen
mailto:2GetHelp.com-150852@autocontactor.com 100 Quotes in 100 Days AR 2.07.06,
Kristen
--------------------------------------
"
My daughter called me this morning and thanked me for loving her enough to
get her involved in ND. She said that it let her know just how much I love
her."
- Terri. 2.7.06, after re-connecting with her estranged husband (separated
5 mo.), then bring her adult son thru to re-connect and heal with him… now
bringing her adult daughter thru to let her BLAST out the anger and hurt and
disappointment from a tough childhood so she could have an awesome adulthood,
together. Dad (Patrick) shared, at graduation: "You've re-united my family.
I can't thank you enough for that." Matt's note: seeing that family work
out their past differences was truly inspiring to all!
"I had an opportunity to express my feelings to AJ on Sunday night. Totally
at the intensity that I felt them; raw, total, and honest. It was perfect.
And as a result, him and I are so much closer..."
- LJ, 28
sometimes I let it be known how much I'm here.
I don't want people to feel sorry for me.
I want them to understand what's Possible.
I will live my life, from this day forward (actually, I have for some time
now, but I believe this is PC - poetically correct)
as an Example to others.
to push the limits of what's possible… and come back to report it to
you.
the grandgirls were here last night. 2.6.06 (they'll be here all week!)
paula and rachel were not.
I had all 3 of them hanging on me, chasing me, laughing, giggling
at me, at each other, at life.
we watched joke videos on my computer… one on one arm of the chair, one
on the other, the 3rd behind.
together. touching. smiling. laughing. loving.
(side note: if you are going to allow yourself to get THAT close to people,
especially inocent children, you had better be REAL CLEAR where your sexual
boundaries lie. tickling can so easy go too far, so be DAMNED CAREFUL with
your hands, and that child's future. You litterally have their future in your
hands. Unfortunately, in one moment of touch you cannot heal them from any
future pain, but you can sure Cause it.
#1 Deep, life-trashing, relationship-blasting, sex-ruining, self-esteem-bashing,
hopeless event = Molestation.
in my 18 years of experience of teaching ND and trying to help people heal
their past, there is NO other event bigger that Molest, even the horrors of
WAR, that I've seen so profoundly effect people in a negative way. It's astounding
to watch women, and some men, but mostly women (and most women), go thru the
unbelievable pain, anguish, horror, shock, terror, shame, guilt, and sadness
assocaited with their molest. and yes, I said Most women.
bad news: if you've been molested, it IS effecting you negatively… I
guarentee it. even if you've worked on it, emotionally, it could be a life-long
battle to try to unravel all the ways it's changed you and pushed at you… whether
conscious or unconscious, trust me, it's there.
good news: THERE's HOPE! We have healed. And we have watched people heal! Lots
of people. Some from horrible, Horrible childhoods (or teenhoods, or adulthoods).
It can be done, and it's a simple process (tho undoubtedly the hardest, most
emotionally painful project you will ever complete).
Acknowledge & Identify the Feelings - NOTICE your feelings… they're
in there, whether you are conscious of them or not.. they're there. Allow them,
listen to them, explore them, understand them, appreciate them… for they
are the pure, true, uncensored feelings of a small child, before being burdened
and hardened by life.
FEEL the Feelings - Let 'em rip, at the INTENSITY that they are felt. it won't
be pretty and it won't be fun… but it's gotta get Done.
Release the Feelings - Let go. Forgive. Release. Resolve. Usually the painful
events aren't happenin' anymore so it's time to let them go.
Replace 'em - Once the anger and rage and tears are released, there's a hole
there, an empty spot in your heart and your spirit that can be filled with
ANYTHING you wish! we usually recommend filling with a COLOR. any color, as
much as you want, from your Higher Power. People usually choose a beautiful
rich purple, or a solid dark blue, or a bright cheery yellow. Love, Joy, Peace,
it's all available to you, once you realize how to create it and where to put
it.
Rejoice!! - YEEHAA!!!! This is Fun! This is Life! This is Love! This is Joy!
This is the Point of all this.
We do the Pain, in order to Gain.
We go through the Pain, in order to Gain.
We ain't afraid of the Pain, if that's what it takes to Gain.
LJ -- damn.
---
for the 2 little ones, they have said that there is no where, anywhere, they
would rather be than with grampa.
we go swimming, we watch movies together (really together), we wrestle, we
box, we chase each other (well, mostly I chase them, which I've found that
most kids just love to do, have someone chase them… it's a cool, validating
feeling to have someone try to run and finally the big "got-cha"),
we make food and eat together… totally together… as close as I
can stand it right now. (they can still get closer than I can… less to
consider, cleaner, they're more open and pure than I.)
What we protect, we make weak.
- Doc
---
T: what if each of the 100 Tips started with a Quote, and then went on for
a bit… sometimes a short bit and sometimes a full-on Rant.
---
We are loved every bit as much as we can Stand it.
- mcp
Guilt is Optional. Always.
- mcp
Shame is Optional. Give it back.
- mcp
Guilt and Shame are both Optional.
- mcp
The opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Indifference.
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
yeah but Dad, at least I'm consciously incompetent!
- Rachel P, 14
---
Tip 16 of 100: Step 1 of 7 - AWARENESS that your Body feels
(04:51 parked in Sacramento, in front of friends' place. Pit stop on the way to ND starting tonight.)
new record: 3 all-nighters in last 4 days!
Sun 3 hours
Mon 0 hours
Tue 7 hours (oh, what a feeling!)
Wed 0 hours
last night, 7 total (nice!) up at 4, no alarm
what's wrong with working your a$$ off for a few days, and then enjoying the
aftermath?
what's wrong with creating pressure and some strain in your life, to do the
best you can... and just for the purpose of SAVORing when it's done. We want
to create Joy, right... here's one way... just create a bunch of Pain for yourself,
and then, when you finally Stop, it feels sooo Wonderful. like when you have
to pee for a long time, and you hold it, and you hold it, and F - i - n - a
- l - l - y, you get to go... aaahhhhhh, oh, it feels sooo fine. that's what
I mean.
I can sleep later. I have work to do.
I don't necessarily do what I 'should' do.
but most everything I do is directly or indirectly heading me toward financial
freedom from coding.
so we worked for 2 months, hard, to get about $2,500. 15 students... 7 of
which are reviewers. great. or is it?
we got a new brochure.
we scheduled a new class... which people are talking 'bout
Kick-butt Workshops
Are you ready to kick butt?
Are you ready to feel better?
Do you have the NERVE to face yourself?
"You can't HANDLE the Truth!"
- Jack Nicholson's part in "A Few Good Men"
is that how you are?
DENYing that you have all these Feelings bottled up insude?
trying to HIDE some/many of your thoughts, feelings & behaviours?
feeling ASHAMEd of yourself, or your body, or your mind?
3 Things about that:
1. Good luck. You can do it. So many people live life like that, it certainly
CAN be done. Go for it. I wish you the best, and you might as well quit reading
my stuff, 'cause it's gonna irritate you and press a bunch of your buttons
(which, I realize of course, that you have NO issues, and never overreact,
ever, right?)
2. Good news! All this is about is you not being able to manage your feelings. That's all. Chances are, you're not broken.
The walking wounded.
The unhealthy well.
The painfully plodding.
Suicidal Sally.
Bad-a$$ Bill.
Guilty Gerde.
current issues
plug didn't work
cold
gotta get hold of Robin to pick me up on way to R-ball
gotta get to 7:30 mtg on time
behind in almost everything
time with Darrel... 5:30 or 6pm at courseroom?
bigger current issues
mortgage
daughter got in trouble
rain and water and mud, everywhere
MH problems (50+! :c(
car problem (jumpy, getting worse)
2 dear friends are mad at me
long-standing issues
co-dependence
eat-a-suorus
shame-based
know which one(s) are pushing you at any given time.
very important to know the dif.
standard
when a smiley or sad face is at the end of a line :c )
but it's also the end of a parenthetical remark (!)
then the mouth of the smiley may serve as the close paren.
see "MH problems" above
---
'2.3.06
send Cliff the link to 100DaysAR
send Cyndi links to NDW & TCOYF
Rudy's & Bud-Bud's birthday today.
'2.4.06 06:40
Scott has a cool ability to not need people,
but he also feels that he should be able to speak his mind...
so he does. If you cross him, or don't do what he expects you to do, he can
be vicious with his tone and his energy.
it's not time yet
video was postponed
3 people didn't show up for class.
Annette
Josh Hill
Sherri Felix
but then, AJ & LJ did. 15 is not bad, at all.
my dogs are soo loving these days.
Grandkids, too.
PR & PKP are both moving back in that direction.
close assistants and some grads seem to really care for/about me.
...nice.
give, and then give some more.
be About giving.
be nice, and then be nicer.
be About being nice, and caring, and feeling, and acceptance.
why not? do you have something more important to do, then spreading Love around?
Complements that long-time NDers hear:
--------------------------------------
- what a good listener you are.
- you make a great employee... you're one of the few people around here who
actually gives a damn!
- I always know where you're coming from... I like that. No games, no guessing,
no hidden agendas. You say how you feel, good or bad. That's makes it easy
to be around you, and helps me Trust you more.
- You're so easy to talk to.
- Wow, I've never felt this loved in my life!
- Thank you so much. You're my hero.
- dude, you're nuts. how do get all that stuff done?
---
Commitment is a key to life. (sorry guys).
you do NOT have to commit to marriage.
but you DO have to commit to SOMETHING. almost anything, really.
No commitment = it felt life freedom, able to breathe, flap, fly
but I found it more to be floating, lost, flailing, unclear
now, with commitment, it's much CLEARer what to do with my life.
- I'm committed to myself, to be the best I can be and have the coolest life
possible while I'm doing it.
- I'm committed to my family. To have the closest relationship I can, and best
support the people I love to be happy and healthy as they can be... with or
without me.
- I'm committed to my parents, that I will be the very best, most loving son,
I can be, as long as they both shall live.
- I'm committed to ND. Both the classes and the concepts. From 18 years ago
until the day I die... my life is about showing folks about how to live in
their Feelings... the ONLY way to go.
- I'm committed to my Higher Power. I will live my life with pride, and honor,
and respect for your power, the power of nature and the power of love you have
given us. I will give back, whenever and wherever I can with a conscious understanding
and appreciation for it all.
amen.
what I shared last night in opening of ND...
(while tearing up...)
"
I've felt a lot of overwhelm lately.
(pause)
I've cried a lot.
(pause)
It works for me."
---
sun 2.5.06, 05:32, last day of class.
get people involved with each other.
tunnel
we let them talk too long Sat. am.
we're not having them connect with each other
we're hurting them by new small teams
we're hurting the assistants with no meetings
we're feeling like we gotta do it ourselves
we're spending more time with our friends than anything
we're randomly blasting people
the only premise going on is Feelings must be released
we didn't come back from dinner last night. why?
power trip
meet with PKP and Christine and Karen at dinner.
be very careful when you spout off what you Know, and it's really just an educated guess on your part... mostly fear-based.
---
Conversational Anger
vs.
Feeling & Healing Anger
---
I'm a self-taught behaviouralist (whatever that is.)
I'm an expert in human behaviour, and the feelings behind the behaviours
no, actually my specialty is the feelings themselves.
Identification, understanding and management of Feelings.
Only competition I know of is Ron Huxley.
write to him... respectfully disagree with his assumptions
have you ever dealt with your anger at your parents and your childhood? If
not, then don't come talk to me about that it doesn't work. I've got a few
thousand grads who would disagree with you. In fact, I would almost venture
to say that it's one of the only things that does work. You may not have to
SCREAM or RAGE out all that backed up anger... but then again, you may indeed.
I have met some beautifully "healed" people
We are Healed.
We continue to Heal.
where are you, along your path?
1 you, now
past stuff current life future goals
2 you, now
past stuff current life future goals
3 you, now
past stuff current life future goals
4 you, now
past stuff current life future goals
5 you, now
past stuff current life future goals
1 LIFE IS BEATING US
Life is not working. out of control emotions. relationships suck. you're hurtin',
you're escapin', you're cutting, you're runnin', you're cryin or depressed,
a lot.
2 LIFE IS DRAGGING US DOWN
You're ok, but not great. You've got a job/career, but you don't really like
it. You're stressed about money. You're stressed about your relationship.
You're not suicidal, but you're sure not yippy skippy happy, either.
3 PERSONAL GROWTH HAPPENS
We get some help. We find out that we have gobs of pain and anger from our
past that is VERY MUCH effecting us today. We gain courage and self esteem.
Thru the group process, we come to realize that personal connection and managing
our Feelings & Emotions really are the keys to living a happy, successful
life.
4 LIFE IS GOOD!
Ok, here we go. We've dealt with quite a bit of our past. Our relationships,
tho' not perfect, feel pretty darned good most of the time. We don't go around
angry or depressed as much as we used to. We get down sometimes and we have
issues, but hey, we ain't perfect. We're actively dealing with them, clearing
out as much as possible whenever things come up and we're actively seeking
out loving, lasting, close personal friends and loves.
5 LIFE IS GREAT!!
We are ROCKin the House. Our career is Wonderful. Our relationships are full
of Love and Hope. We are pretty much FREE of our past, unconscious issues.
We know where we've been, and we know where we're going. We know what we
feel and we feel what we feel, in the moment, (or soon thereafter) and we
let go of negatives quickly and gracefully. We get LOTS of hugs, we have
many successes. We laugh a lot (and we cry sometimes). Life's still happen',
but we have a really good handle on ourselves, our relationships and our
outlook on life. Yeehaa!
we have TAKEN CONTROL OF OUR LIVES
---
do you need to cry?
do you have anger you need to release?
are you depressed?
ask your body, and quietly listen to the answer.
---
if you don't believe in God, that means that you think you're smarter than
Him... all knowing. yeah, right.
---
you'll see as you grow that specializing isn't a way to go, it's the only way
to go. maybe
---
I'm scared about next month
I kinda quit Closets, and KPMG is going to reduce significantly.
have e*trade to finish
CIWMB = 9 hrs
Marin, some
CDF
that's it.
SF job?
so where's your faith?
turns out, we made very little on this class, for a # of reasons
3 didn't show up
1 showed up, but didn't review
1 who did, didn't pay
2 students didn't pay, at all
many were discounted.
I belive only 1 person paid full price.
we are not going to sell this class on paper, or on the web.
we'll have to do it in person.
or at least, with personal intervention.
---
keep going, Barb.
Shannon & Christine couldn't handle your attacks.
John and I could.
I just don't have time, nor the desire to argue with you.
you and my wife seem to have the same irritating philosophy... ignore the positive,
make a BIG friggin' deal about any negative. I have to live with that with
her, but I don't have to take it from you.
John has offered to continue helping you... go for it.
Good luck in your growth. As Christine said, if you ever want to do some REAL work on yourself, come to ND. We could help you BLAST out that negativism and anger.
Until then, chio. Keep learning and growing.
with my blessings,
- Matt
---
write a short description (blurb) re: ND, like this:
PATHOS COURSE BUILDER
Put your students on computer lessons that you have created--and then take
the grade! With very little computer knowledge, you can develop learning modules
to assist you in your teaching. Add your own content--text, questions, images,
and even audio in the building of units and lessons for lab or classroom stations.
Licensed per instructor so you can have as many students at as many stations
as possible for one price. Bring multimedia into your classroom in the time
it takes to create textbook and paper assignments.
Download the Pathos Course Builder (FREE 30-day trial)
$49.95 Download $54.95 CD-Rom
---
Learn to understand & Enjoy the Wonders inside YOU (free)
http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
Feel & Heal with love, care & concern in our emotional support group
(free)
http://Groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
Ready to Rock Your World, permanently?!? A weekend of work, a lifetime of rewards.
(not so free)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
Need Life Lessons? Get daily tips, instruction and wisdom in your Inbox (also
free)
click here to send a blank email to: 2GetHelp.com-146532@autocontactor.com
Write me and let us know what else you need.
- Matt
2.1.06 11:18p sent to R&D, saved as Signature in Outlook
---
Type in the keywords you wanna use. (R,F,E)
then go to the top links that come up… and get your name on their site!
leave a comment.
Answer something.
write an article
contact them and see if you can work together
---
That's interesting, too, that anything that has an Input capability (form,
guest book, comment, trackbacks, shopping cart)
will require time to deal with Spam. removal.
---
i just want to tell you something
anger is an emotion <o:p></o:p>
not a terminal illness <o:p></o:p>
when i rage <o:p></o:p>
break things <o:p></o:p>
yell <o:p></o:p>
rant <o:p></o:p>
im angry <o:p></o:p>
i'm not dying <o:p></o:p>
or out of control <o:p></o:p>
i'm not bad <o:p></o:p>
anger liberates <o:p></o:p>
my victim <o:p></o:p>
when i snap back at you <o:p></o:p>
then walk away slamming doors <o:p></o:p>
swear at the cat <o:p></o:p>
bash walls <o:p></o:p>
i am angry <o:p></o:p>
anger is an emotion <o:p></o:p>
not a terminal illness <o:p></o:p>
don't tell me to calm down <o:p></o:p>
don't stifle me <o:p></o:p>
let go of my arm <o:p></o:p>
i want to rage <o:p></o:p>
my rage is fuelled by <o:p></o:p>
hate <o:p></o:p>
it's best i rant <o:p></o:p>
tear up books <o:p></o:p>
throw plates <o:p></o:p>
if i am to heal <o:p></o:p>
my anger needs a home <o:p></o:p>
a place to be unbridled <o:p></o:p>
not judged <o:p></o:p>
anger is an emotion <o:p></o:p>
not a terminal illness <o:p></o:p>
when you see my anger <o:p></o:p>
and push it away <o:p></o:p>
in disgust <o:p></o:p>
it keeps me stuck <o:p></o:p>
my anger is a moment <o:p></o:p>
it rages <o:p></o:p>
then passes <o:p></o:p>
allowing calm room to breathe <o:p></o:p>
i love you <o:p></o:p>
my anger is the past <o:p></o:p>
comming back to be <o:p></o:p>
honoured <o:p></o:p>
if i let it live <o:p></o:p>
mess the house up <o:p></o:p>
maybe even our lives <o:p></o:p>
we can rest <o:p></o:p>
knowing we saw angers <o:p></o:p>
truth <o:p></o:p>
felt her wrath <o:p></o:p>
and honoured her pain <o:p></o:p>
anger is an emotion <o:p></o:p>
not a terminal illness<o:p></o:p>
isabella
---
On Success:
"
If you have an open heart, you can articulate life. If you have a closed heart,
you can only get good at one thing, like a PhD, and that's all you do. You
suck at everything else.
I think that if you stay open and have a flexible mind, you can learn from
Buddist monks, or whatever. Especially if you're trying to Complement… key
word, Complement."
- Carlos Santana, interviewed on "Supernatural"
---
- Matt
Take a weekend to harness your Heart: New Directions Workshops
Learn about the wonder of YOU: Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions
Blog
Get the smiles and emotional support you need: 2GetHelp on MSN
I’ll teach you how -- free Life lessons in your Inbox: “100 Emotional
Tips in 100 Days” send a blank email
-----
- Matt Perelstein
(916) 599-8597
mailto:matt@2gethelp.com
http://www.MattPerelstein.com
- MCP
Founder & Instructor/Coach at the life-changing: New Directions Workshops
Author of the emotional teachings blog: Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions
Moderator of an online group for loving support: 2GetHelp on MSN
Offering powerful daily life lessons in your Inbox: "100 Emotional Tips
in 100 Days" send a blank email
1.29.06
---
Jane Smith, President
Smith I.T. Consulting
'Take a Byte Out of Network Headaches'
ph: 800-321-0000 fax: 212-321-0001
jane@smithitconsulting.com
*Visit http://www.smithitconsulting.com and get your FREE report on the top
10 most common computer network problems and how to solve them!*
---
we've been accused of "Brain Washing"
I say YES, we definitely do that!
it feels like you take a rag, put it in one ear, through the center of your
head and out the other ear
and pull back and forth.
you feel refreshed.
you feel cleaner.
you feel brighter.
you feel like some of the cobwebs have been removed.
some of the old mustiness and darkness is now lighter and airier and you can
breathe a little easier.
we've been called a "Cult", too.
right again.
if a cult is a group of people who have a like goal, values and attitudes toward
a common belief, then we are certainly Guilty of that.
NDers believe that they come first.
NDers believe that Love is grand.
NDers believe that the Connection with the person is more important than our
differences and judgements.
NDers believe that we can be nice. and keep being nice. until it's time to
not be nice.
NDers believe we are 100% totally, completely Responsible for how we choose
to live our lives from this day forward.
NDers believe that the Lord is there to help us.
NDers believe that if you end up when we're old being grumpy, and resentful,
and bitter, than we missed the point of life.
NDers believe that our kids are a miracle that we must treasure, and nurture,
and teach better than our parents did.
NDers believe that we are never done learning and growing and changing... and
that's ok.
NDers believe that feelings are a good thing, not a bad thing. In fact, Feelings
are THE thing! The most important thing in life.
---
Jan. 23, 2006
Kobe Scores 81! interesting reactions, due to his nasty court case last year.
he also is getting famous for flagrant fouls… he's pissed.
http://www.nba.com/news/Kobe_reaction.html
---
The 5 Love Languages
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
(note: if you're angry at someone, just make it so NONE of these work!)
---
you care for her more than she does
you care for her more than yourself.
---
Mom, sitting there.
what do you want to tell her?
---
Neener, neener.
---
conscious workaholic
justifyable suicide.
---
fear based
or
love based
are you gonna live your life based on Fear,
or
are you gonna live your life based on Love.
---
instant intimacy
love quickly, and completely
---
5 P's of Parenting
Be Patient.
The frustration will pass but this will be your child for the rest of your
life.
Be the Parent.
Your child will find and develop friends. But he or she desperately needs a
parent.
Be Practical.
Your expectations and demands should challenge but not exceed your child's
ability.
Be Positive.
Your child will strive to fulfill your words, good or bad.
Be Protective.
Your child needs a safe haven in troubled world; let it be you.
http://www.keystosaferschools.com/E-News/jan06.htm#8
---
Mobloggin' 1.26.06
mailto:remote@typepad.com
---
Know how I know that I will Succeed? I DON'T GIVE UP. I take breaks, and I
breathe, but I don't stop.
there are a lot of successful people in the world, so it can't be That hard.
a lot of them are smarter than I am… but some are not.
it can be done, and I can figure out how to do it too, as long as I don't give
up.
EQ is a tough sell.
Ok, I hope by now you are getting the point that I am selling Feelings.
I am not selling me, I am selling YOU.
I believe that there is probably more to YOU than you know.
Know why? Because I'm willing to BET that there are places inside your Heart.
way deep in your Feelings.
the 'real' life lessons you have learned.
the incredible joys and sorrows in your life.
the major turning points, and breaking points, that you experienced.
the pains, the anger, the fears
and the joys, the laughter, and the love.
it's all bottled up, way down inside you.
you may even get a glimpse of it, every once in a while. a Teaser, perhaps.
that shows you what it Could be like.
what you're REALLY made of.
where your heart truly lies.
sometimes, I can see MORE of a person than they can.
sometimes, I know how much you COULD feel, and how much you are Allowing your
Feelings, and the difference makes me sad. very sad.
sometimes, I see pain (kinda like "I see dead people" -- I know you
know what movie that's from.)
I do.
and even more often, I see Anger.
Us Americans are an ANGRY lot.
we have plenty to be Angry about. (good clean critical Anger, not sarcasm,
judgements or put-downs.)
how does our body Disagree with other bodies?
what makes us unique, and different, and real, and counted?
what is it that tells us whats Really ok with us, and what is not?
it's our Anger.
all feelings have a Purpose, right?
Fear is for warning.
Sad is for letting go.
Depression is for overwhelm.
Love is for life.
Peace is for sanity.
Joy is for motivation.
(posted day 29 of 100: 2.14.06)
and Anger is for telling us WHO we you are and WHAT is important to us.
If you don't know, appreciate and learn to LIKE your anger, you are denying a HUGE piece of who you are and what you're about.
How can you have Self-Esteem without Anger?
How can you stand out from the rest?
How can you NOT get sucked along by the crowds?
How can you Achieve?
How can you Push Yourself?
How can you make yourself do things you don't want to do?
If we’re motivated, in some way, in any way, there's some Anger there.
Anger is a Wonderful TOOL to help us.
it fires us up.
it keeps us warm.
it keeps us doing what we don't want to do.
it protects us.
it directs us.
it pushes the bad away,
and fights for the good.
it knows that we matter.
and is the force that keeps that fact secure.
it's our way of letting the world know that We Exist.
I'm not saying we're Only motivated by Anger… there are certainly other feelings we strive for.
Motivation = Desire to Feel a certain Feeling sometime in the Future.
- mcp
---
Guilt is about the Past
Shame is in the Present
Fear is about the Future
---
whoa… I know about feelings.
I KNOW about feelings.
'cause I know MY feelings.
and I've helped many others with THEIR feelings.
and I've studied feelings.
and I've written over 400 posts ABOUT feelings.
I live feelings
and I breathe feelings. (well, that's physically true, but also kinda dramatic,
but you get the point. :c )
what I do first we find out What you're feeling
ask good, probing feeling questions,
and then I SUAL (shut-up and listen) intently to the answers.
watch for body language
listen to their tone of voice
watch their eyes, especially
notice how their message makes you feel
be aware of their energy
we willing to open your heart and feel right with them
be quiet
make eye-contact
stay focused on them, and their needs (yes, you can put your needs aside for
a few minutes… it's ok)
try to create raport with them, by matching their energy, tone and feeling
let them know that they are safe -- and make sure YOU are safe to them, emotionally.
(are you?)
be strong, for them.
be there, for them.
be one, for them.
turn up your caring, for them.
turn up your love, for them.
open up your heart, for them.
you will feel Wonderful doing it all!
side note: you know what i have to be very, very good at ? Being WRONG.
yep. I have to be willing to BE WRONG, over and over again.
make it Ok with me. ultimate non-ego.
let me explain…
when trying to help people find their core of their 'real anger', we often
go down the wrong paths with people.
it's ok. we're guessing. we're shopping
---
Shopping Your Feelings
like to shop? most do. as long as you can buy.
so let's go Shopping for Feelings.
which ones will you Buy?
which ones Fit you, and you wanna take them home and put them in your emotional
bank account, for a later withdrawal.
which ones will keep near and dear to your heart?
I choose Love.
I get to choose what I put / allow / encourage / manufacture in my heart.
so I choose Love.
period.
whenever there's non-love in there, I DISGARD it, like an old pair of tennies.
I choose not to feel afraid of very many things.
I choose not to get angry at other people much.
I choose not to get my feelings hurt very long.
When I come across a Joy, or a Silly, or a Happy Thought, I BUY THOSE!
everytime.
I'm a sucker for a Joke, or a tickle, or a dance. I'll buy those everytime.
Keep you want, disgard the rest. Total cost of shopping trip = $0.00
enjoy.
---
side note: ok, here he goes again on that Anger jag.
dude, let's say you're THERE, totally There for someone like I just described.
and let's say you actually do that quite a bit, 'cause you're a kind, loving,
caring person.
and let's say that one person you are loving, and caring for, starts Trashing
you.
they're angry at you for some reason, conscious or un-, you get bitterness
and harshness in return.
what do you do?
Well, you are At Choice here (as with most things in your life).
a. Do nothing. as I said, you are a kind, loving person, and they don't 'mean'
to hurt so it's ok.
I don't want to rock the boat… I might hurt their feelings.
I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and try to muddle through as best I can.
b. Go away. Get pissed, close up and quit. take your ball and go home.
You were being nice, and they hurt you, and that's it. you're outta here. "ungrateful
bastards"
c. Teach them how to be with you. Let them know how their behaviour is making
you feel.
stand your ground. talk to them. ask them if they really Mean to hurt my feelings.
if they do (Doc says 20-30% of the time, people actually MEANT to hurt your
feelings.), then you may close up.
and, you can close up, without going away.
and you can keep on loving, and not let it hurt you anymore,
you can try to understand that their way is their way and they don't mean to
hurt you the don't take it as such.
Here's the key: Who Wins?
a. Both in the short run, but Neither in the long run.
you are being beaten down and discouraged (but you may also be proving yourself
Right about how hard and mean the world can be, which, unconsciously is getting
you BIG points)
they may be winning in the short run, having someone to talk to, and dump on… but
in the long run, do they really have an equal, loving relationship with you,
while you are protecting yourself from being hurt or abused? not really.
b. Maybe you. If it really is better to cut your loses and split, then off you go. Have the courage to dis-associate yourself from people who are detriment to your emotional and/or physical health (Hint: imho, it doesn't matter if they're "family" or not. Sometimes our blood relatives are the WORST people in our lives. as personally responsible adults, we do NOT have to be around people who are horrible to us or for us. ever.)
c. EVERYBODY WINS!
you gain courage, self-esteem and self-pride.
they learn, they get to have a Real partner
you feel validated and strong
they feel loved and cared for
everybody wins!
so, what's the difference between choices a, b, & c above?
a. You are NOT in touch with your anger. You can't hold up your boundaries,
'cause you can't get up the Courage to face what's scaring you.
it's an abandonment / significance thing.
b. Maybe you couldn't handle your anger, so you split.
maybe your anger Helped you split.
only you know which is real.
c. You can use your anger to Get Their Attention! and then back off it and
go back to loving, and teaching, and listening.
"THAT BEHAVIOUR IS NOT OK WITH ME!" can be said in a powerful, sure,
even Angry place ...
but without trashing, belittling or even disconnecting from the other person.
"Judge the Behaviour, not the Person."
"I love you. and I hate what you did."
1.26.06 0:00 - 02:00
---
Dave Buck says:
A coach is a knowledgeable independent observer who gives feedback, teaches
skills, expands awareness and provides any support needed to improve player
performance.
The coach has 3 basic options:
1) CHALLENGE: "Look, it's time for you to figure this out for yourself!"
2) COLLABORATE: "Let's put our heads together and figure this out"
3) ADVISE: "OK listen, here's what you need to do"
from http://www.todayscoach.com/pastissues.html#coachingmyth
Myth 1: A majority of professional life and business coaches are struggling
financially because they don't know how to market themselves
Myth 2: The Client has all the answers
Myth 3: A good coach can coach anyone
Myth 4: Coaching is setting goals and creating accountability
People hire a coach because they are entering some new territory in their lives
(remember proficiency #14 - Enters new territories!).
The only way to counteract fear and uncertainty in the client is for the coach
to CREATE CERTAINTY!
Second, the coach must be willing to explore deeply with the client the experiences,
thoughts and beliefs that are at the core of the fear and uncertainty. This
exploration will greatly expand the clients' awareness. In order to do this,
you - the coach - must be courageous! You must be on a path which is causing
you to understand your own issues and face your own darkness. It is from this
courage - the willingness to "go deep" - that certainty is born.
IMPORTANT NOTE: In the game called "selling your coaching services",
your level of certainty is the number one predictor of getting the sale. CERTAINTY
IS WHAT POTENTIAL CLIENTS WILL PAY FOR - NOT BETTER GOALS AND ACCOUNTABILITY.
Myth 5: Coaches should not talk about emotions for fear of treading into the
territory of psychotherapy
"
Am I doing psychotherapy?" OR "Am I doing work that is therapeutic?"
Psychotherapy is the diagnosis and
treatment of pathology.
As a coach you must NEVER DIAGNOSE pathology or claim to be able to treat it.
For example, while speaking with a client about a challenge they are facing
you should never say: "You seem to be suffering from post traumatic stress
disorder; I can help you with that."
Myth 6: If the client doesn't take action it means they are not "coach-able"
Quite often one of two things will happen: 1) the client will not take a necessary
action or 2) The client takes LOTS of actions but not the ones that will
lead to the desired result (in other words the actions are not "in concert" with
the objective).
Greatness is a state of being. It is experienced when there is perfect balance
between body awareness (Feeling fully), soul awareness (Sensing wholeness)
and ego awareness (Acting with clarity). Interestingly, greatness is not about
achieving anything in particular. Yet, when you are "being great" you
naturally achieve more.
What are the benefits of living in a state of Greatness?
When you are feeling fully you can always trust and act quickly on your intuition
When you are feeling fully, you are free of judgments about yourself and others
When you are sensing wholeness, you are free from worry about the acceptance
of others
When you are sensing wholeness, you never hold yourself back
When you are acting with clarity, your mind works to create solutions rather
than find something to blame for the problem
When you are acting with clarity, you are open to all possibilities with no
attachment to something happening "my way".
It is your job, as a coach, to a) be willing to discuss these deep feelings
and b) have a variety of tools to "move the energy" so that the client
is free and once again expressing his greatness! It is YOUR JOB, as the coach,
to go deep, get to the core of the issue and resolve it.
"THE SERVICE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO PROVIDE IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE
TO SELL."
- mcp it would be tough in his situation, as he's surrounded by smart, powerful
people who are used to getting their way.
he had to step up and lead, while still learning and listening carefully.
I wonder if I will have the balls to do so wisely and effectively, when the
time comes.
this attitude I have, that any and all can fail and I keep going.
---
would you go to another T. Harv Eker event?
probably not.
why? they seem like the Sales are more important than the Content.
Focus on the content now.
Christine is off and running with the Marketing.
now I need to focus on the content.
that is where I come in
---
"
I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
means No."
-Cap'n Barbosa, "Pirates of the Caribbean"
---
with the British, the tone of voice is so critical to the message.
but then, so many Assumptions must be made, 'cause you don't really know what's
meant.
---
our target customer:
I cried all day today...my poor eyes are so puffy........Ed came home from
work and said to me tonight that he would actually go to couples counseling
with me....this is a start......I'll keep you all posted.
Jeanie
collect sound bites of our target, then use these in marketing pieces.
---
note to self: write my 100 Tips letter the way CB does his.
very personal and revealing, saying Hey, this is what works for me. you might
try it yourself. here, I'll try to list the steps for you…
yes, it's We.
actually, it's I, and you, but mostly We.
This is what We need to do to make this work.
This is what We need to do to be Happy, and productive, and make a dif.
Make a Difference.
Get 'R Done.
"
Let's Do It" Attitude.
WE are gonna make a difference.
get people together who are, or want to, make a dif.
I don't go looking for people… they will be naturally attracted to us.
What we CAN do is to "Notify" people that we're Here to Help.
We're here if you know anyone who's in Crisis, we can really help, really quickly… and
probably Permanently.
I'm not saying someone's Done, or anywhere's near it… but we can probably
help them thru this crisis.
We can pretty effectively take their biggest negative emotions, and relieve
them to the point where people can Think again, clearly, and lovingly.
If someone:
lost a loved one, recently or not, the sadness can overwhelm you.
divorce, yours or your parent's, tons of feelings and they're ongoing… your
life IS changing.
engagement, hey, want the best start you can get? Know yourselves, and know
each other.
Come and take our first weekend, ND itself, which we've been offering for over
18 years now.
It will rock your world, for the better -- badder than ANYTHING on the planet
(imho).
There is no vacation, no restaurant, no game, no drug, no alcohol and no party
on this planet that will make you FEEL more than you will feel in a weekend
with us. (seriously, it's such an amazing blast to do -- help people to the
core of their being, and be helped in the same way -- damn.)(oh, and take into
account that it is ME up there teaching you… not some suit giving you
a fancy lecture. I get down and get dirty with you. We get out the kick-boxing
bag and go at it, if that's what you need. I've had my shirt ripped off of
my chest. I've been kneed in the crotch. I've been slapped, punched, kicked
and called every name you can imagine, and I'm still here. We only allow 20
or so people in the class, so you WILL get your turn, and you WILL get your
time, and you WILL feel more supported, and encouraged, and accepted than EVER
before in your life. We are VERY good at helping people feel Loved. We make
ourselves Safe and we make the room Safe. It's an awesome Skill we've mastered,
and it works sooo well, both in class and at home. and at work. and in the
grocery store. at the arcade. and on the soccer field. (even in the car!) it's
an attitude, a belief system, a knowing and a trusting. it's a connection,
to each other, like you've NEVER experienced before.)
oh, and sorry folks, but we pretty much do this with our clothes ON, at least
during class.
I am a straight-forward guy (in case you haven't noticed). I am fun-loving,
up-beat, positive and, I hope, motivational for you to do what must be done,
to Heal and go on, being the very BEST YOU you can possibly be!
Once you truly take Personal Responsibility for your life, and how you CHOOSE
to live it, that one point can make more difference in your life than anything
else I know of.
THE MOST IMPORTANT Lesson to learn: PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY period.
everything else can be learned, handled, dropped, created, dimished, extended,
emancipated, and every other -ed word I can think of… because once you
truly are PR for yourself and your life, there is NO STOPPING you from creating
the life you truly want to live. or, be really Ok with how your life does turn
out.
people who need a MAJOR Attitude Adjustment.
We'll take your tired, your Grumpy, even your anal, sarcastic, angry & nasty
-- Bring 'em on.
or are you more weak, teary, wimpy, scared, lost or delusional?
We'll take you both. We'll take you all on.
If you're willing, most of these are left over from what's happened to you
in the past. We can help you make MAJOR breakthroughs into your psyche, and
change some serious feelings you've had bottled up.
Doc, we shoulda moved the date. sorry.
CH, do you know what I'm planning on Reacting to… nothing.
nope, not a damned thing. you will have a hard time, and do already, have a
hard time getting me riled up. Paula and Rachel can, but not many others.
I like how I think, I like how I act (mostly) and when I look back on my day,
I can say, Yep, you kicked butt today, nice going. you did your best. It may
not have been what I would have Chosen to do, given my 'druthers, but what
I did, I did to the best of my ability. I'm learning and growing and that,
in itself, REQUIRES my best, at all times.
The more you know, the Better your Best can be!!
Better your best.
Kick yourself in the A$$.
Discipline yourself.
Control yourself.
Get a Grip on your Temper.
Get a Clue about Loving, being strong and being Nice, all at the same time.
What how 'real men' do it (well, trying-to-be-as-Real-as-possible guys)
We have some Very successful males in our midst.
some have really powerful, aware, independent, take-no-bs-from-anyone kids.
know why?
'cause we raised those kids the way we needed to be raised… still are.
Our kids are VERY aware of themselves, their actions, their Feelings, and their
Intentions.
They are alive and alert and full of life
They KNOW, without Any doubt whatsoever, that THEY ARE LOVED. totally and completely.
WHAT a cool feeling to grow up with, ey?
Is that how you felt growing up? Accepted, Loved and Appreciated as a person,
Respected, Included, Celebrated, Encouraged, Up-Lifted, HUGGED and Hugged and
HUGged some more. Where feelings were Encouraged, not punished. Where feelings
were ok… it was A-ok to cry, we do it all the time, right in front of
you because we want you to see how it can be done, and so that you will Know
me, to the depths of my soul as I have always known you.
Who could expressed their feelings.
Here try this one on: "Rachel, you seem angry at me. Are you? What's up?
If I'm doing something that's bothering you, let's talk about it."
Is that how your parents handled Anger in your household. mine didn't.
we encourage their feelings, and yes, that includes their Anger. Deal with
it… it's YOUR problem (mostly) if you cannot handle their Anger. You
know your anger, you might have to puff up a bit, you set strict Boundaries
on what's ok to DO, and you ask that it be done without name calling or sarcasm… just
let me know what’s bugging you. If you need to get physical, we're going
to a bed, coach, pillow or chair and you can Release your pent up physical
agression, too. but you also Shut Up and Listen. In fact, Listen a lot. And
if there's some silence, that's ok… just feeling in each other in the
room is nice, and connecting. Allow yourself to connect. Open your heart up,
consciously. see where you're at. if you're up for it, open up just a little
wider, on purpose. Know that you can open, and close, your heart, to whoever
you wish, whenever you wish. THAT is something that no-one can control, but
you.
You're sitting at the controls of your life… like a space capsule speeding
through space, with you at the controls. You can direct direction, and many
flaps, grooves, thingies and thangies, but still, you're at the controls. Now,
as far as you know, you, and this space ship they call a Body are together,
but you're alone. totally alone in the world. there are others out there… lots
of others… but in reality, it's just you two.
Ok, so it's a we, not a me. ok, we're a team. Me and my Body, like 2 entities.
I am the soul, inside my body, I am connected to, and in fact, control my body,
but alas, I am Not my body.
so, what are our choices here?
I'm not sure I'm even a physical thing… I think I might be just a Feeling.
I feel, therefore I am.
(a stream of consciousness about consciousness) -- what a strange word, conscious.
I am, therefore I feel.
take your pick.
(I like these bulleted points)
I am having a conversation with someone. I am picturing talking to someone,
but there's no picture there. maybe i am just Feeling myself talk to someone.
Hello… is anyone there? ("Is there anybody IN there? Just nod if
you can hear me." - quick, what group?(if I don't remember to tell you
later, ask me))
anyway, I gotta get back to work, but just some thoughts to chew on.
If you're serious about changing your life, emotionally, there is NOTHING that
I know of, that you can do for yourself, in one tiny weekend, to help you learn,
as quickly, and completely, and lovingly as we can help do. (and don't tell
me you can't afford it, 'cause you can, if you're serious. if you're not, that's
ok, but don't go around thinkin' or tellin' people that you want to be the
Best you can be. (just kidding.) :c )
bring it on.
pink floyd, The Wall (ha, you thought I forgot, huh?)
but what we can show them is that there IS Love in the world. That there ARE
nice people around. That you can be a Good Guy, and win.
Yep, THAT's what people want to see right now.
a Good Guy, who's winning.
less teaching, and more Showing.
well, you gotta be able to SHOW them, first.
then you gotta be able to TEACH them, once you've hooked 'em.
Show, animation, movement, examples, role plays, the works.
downloadable videos.
Sell them what they Want,
Teach 'em what they Need.
---
the 4 essentials requirements of your employees. They are:
a. great pay
b. genuine appreciation
c. regular fun and
d. a pleasant physical environment
---
"
rather than the routine £50 bonus for Nellie the receptionist, a sincere
letter of thanks would be more appreciated."
- Chris Barrow
---
Emotionally Successful People (ESP)
do you have ESP?
Emotionally Successful Patterns
---
Shoulds
Ok, here's something I just thought of, this morning…
good guys, if they're Ours!
---
btw, I'm pleased to announce that we just had our 200th member signup as of
01:38 this morning 1.21.06, heatherburri (welcome!). Though more is not necessarily
better, we love that our concepts and teachings are becoming available to more
and more people, to help them improve their lives using the simple, powerful
concepts that we've learning. What a wonderful, loving, supportive group we've
created. Thanks all.
Keep lovin'.
Keep feelin'.
Keep learnin'.
Keep LIVIN'!
- Matt
---
1. Emotional Recognition and Expression: the ability to identify one’s
own feelings and emotional states and the ability to express those feelings
to others.
2. Understanding Emotions: The ability to identify and understand the emotions
of others and those that manifest in response to workplace environments and
interactions and experiences.
3. Emotions Direct Cognition: The extent to which emotions and emotional knowledge
is incorporated in decision-making and/or problem solving
4. Emotional Management: The ability to effectively manage emotions in oneself
and influence emotions in others.
5. Emotional Control: The ability to control strong emotional states at work
such as anger, stress, anxiety and frustration.
http://www.eqcertification.com/genos_intro.htm
---
do a Program.
Fresno for ND
Private coaching by phone
Intimate weekend in FB
Monthly support group meetings, by phone
---
Just me, runnin' the show.
I'll have to enroll people, then.
oh, I might even have to Talk to them, on the phone.
---
just me. assistants, but just me, running the show.
yep.
I think I can create exactly the feeling I want, now.
I may not be able to Control the room, but I can still Lead the room.
to connect with folks, you gotta be able to Feel with them.
"I Feel Ya, man." that's a very popular saying, esp. with guys. (and
that's a big deal. :c )
yes, I am of the same opinion, that more guys are clueless about themselves
and their feelings.
plenty of girls are too, but guys are more obvious about it. duh (like me was)
---
plan it and do it.
whenever you're ready… you could start collecting money for it.
$99 to start, $27 / month. too low. Yikes, stuck here! higher would be better,
but can't say I'm always
---
Day 4 - Changing your Life, by Changing your Mind
"
Experts in emotional intelligence development in the EI Consortium, founded
by Daniel Goleman, recommended as best practices, not doing emotional intelligence
training as an event, but as a process that includes assessment, experiential
learning, coaching and support."
---
Google Grabbed 46 Percent Of Search
The November 2005 figures from Nielsen//NetRatings on search share didn't change
a bit from the month prior,
as nearly 70 percent of searches passed through Google or Yahoo.
---
Steps to EQ
1. Evaluation
Assessing opportunities and setting goals
2 Emotional Literacy Development
Regaining natural sensibility and learning to recognize and understand your
emotions
3 Personal Responsibility
Taking ownership and claiming your full power
("not as easy as it seems, and more powerful than they imagined.")
4 Cognitive Restructing
Helping you to think differently
a. Identify how your emotions influence the way you think about yourself, others
and the world
b. Identify more resourceful ways of appraising and reasoning about evens that
enable more effective behavioural choices and outcomes.
5 Behavioural Restructing
Helpin you find new ways of being
Assessment Tool: Genos EI 360 multi-rater assessment
1. Emotional Self-Awareness
2. Understanding Others
3 Emotions and Decision-Making
4 Managing Emotions
5 Controlling Emotions
http://www.eq-leadership.com/Movies/PBC-ebook.mov
---
"
My favorite and most helpful things I learned at ND are:
Acceptance
Release
Evaluating
Risk
Celebration
Detachment
Patience
- Drena 9.7.05
---
first there was WTF,O, then UYO, the OMG, then ND, then CV, then 2GetHelp,
then TCOYF&E, then MCP.
and along the way there was...
no Matt… less Matt … confused Matt … empty Matt … door
Matt … floor Matt … place Matt … launda Matt … welcome
Matt … wrestling Matt … gymnastics Matt … kneeling Matt …
---
Thank you for your questions. To briefly respond, it sounds like you are describing
one of the most common situations that perplexes mankind: How to create friendships,
keep them and not hurt one another. It's not easy; in fact, MOST people don't
know how to do this. MOST friendships end on a sour note. Why? Because we do
not understand how our emotions work: how we create our feelings, what they
ARE (feelings have names, like guilty, afraid, disappointed, ashamed, disconnected,
powerless and worthless), and how to express them without hurting the
other person. These are skills that most of us have never been taught. Rather,
when we feel afraid, for example, we threaten or command the other person to
try to get them the way WE want them to be. Or, we try to make them feel guilty
by blaming them. There are many other examples, but what I'm trying to emphasize
here is that these are all destructive ways to communicate; that's why there
are so many hurt feelings in the world - we don't know how to communicate.
HOWEVER, there is hope. Our website is designed to help people to understand
these "techniques", to support them as they gain wisdom, and to be
a support to those who also want to learn. All is not lost. Eventually, you
will be able to hear the positiveness that is beneath the harsh words of even
those who care about us the most. I hope to hear more from you at the website.
- JF 1.18.06
---
If you don't have a safe, loving support system for yourself, GET ONE. find
one. join one. create one. or start by joining ours! We are the most loving,
accepting, caring group I've ever seen... we all have our problems, but we
know that the key to getting help is reaching out and connecting with others.
Join us, as we go and grow!
---
article directories
list of 73 top directories
google ranking
500-750 word article
action oriented resource box
pass to assistant, they post it to 73 article banks.
has her son do it.
takes 1 hour, exactly, $15
73 links pointing to your site.
search engine hits you
do it every week.
one a week for 100 weeks.
100 Articles in 100 Weeks
traffic plan.
infopreneur
BYS book coming out May 5
take a paragraph from the book and write an article around it.
free, then audio program, then book, then coaching program, the coaching
hard sell or soft sell
price point
1. How your potential clients VIEW what you're offering
investable opportunity
can they SEE that they will get a Return on your investment.
BYS 15 weeks program
Traffic School
articulate what they're Return will be (Benefits)
2 Don't make offers that are disproportionate to your level of Trust established
based on Trust
our job is to design a sales cycle that allows us to build Trust with people,
over time.
no problem spending a year or two years serving them, to build the trust
Timing is a huge issue.
they need what you're offering, but only when they need it.
went from no Flash, to no header whatsoever. then no, no sound activities
they do both.
Joe Vitale
www.webtrafficschoolsystem.com
do something that people will talk about
that's Different.
make an
---
7 Steps to Healing your Feelings.
Step Description Toughness Rating Notes
----- ------------- --------------------- --------
1 Being Willing Being willing to learn, and grow 1 Easy. Just a decision
even when it's not good news. a new direction.
2 Awareness What am I feeling? 4 first few are easy,
& Identification Is that anger, or just fear? then they get more subtle as
you grow.
Separate the emotions, do 1-at-a-time. trickier. gotta keep learning about
them.
3 Allowance Ok, I know I gotta deal with all these feelings. 5 again, just
a decision, but a tough one.
I'm ready, let's get 'r done. bring it on. we're talking about a total life
change here to
where F & E's are not only a good thing, they're It!
4 Expression Here goes… let 'er rip. actually push them all out. 9 this
is the toughest stage, folks.
and yep, it feels as bad as you imagined… this is where the rubber hits
the road.
but once faced, you feel both Pride and Relief. this is where the real Healing
is done.
once you've been there, the feelings won't scare you
(as much) anymore. You'll KNOW you can handle 'em.
Awesomely Powerful feeling when you take control
of yourself!
5 Release Let It Go! You've been pissed about that long enuf. 2-8 some people
have a heckuva time here.
It's time to release the resentment, the blame, they're pissed and by god,
someone's gonna pay
the hatred. Hung on to it long enuf… time to move on. or at least someone
gonna hear about it. justifiable rage.
while others have a looser grasp on things and can let go
of negative events quicker and with less damage.
whichever you are, we have to let go about being 'Right'
about the past, let go of our pain and choose to move on.
6 Replacment Actually, this is one of the easiest steps, once you 3 every day,
we let go of darkness and fill up with light
know how to do it. Once the rage is gone, and the every day, we choose good
over evil, love over pain
tears have been shed, there becomes a Space inside every day, we get to choose.
Choose wisely.
a hole, that feels Wonderful that it's empty, but it must
also be filled… if left empty, it will attract what it knows…
pain, anger, resentment, etc. Fill with BEAUTIFUL colors
light green, sky blue, sunshine yellow, whatever you wish.
but do Fill the Void with something positive and life-enhancing
7 Rejoicing! Surprisingly difficult! 5 we DO get to enjoy our lives.
It's tough to make a big deal about.. You. we DON'T have to do Shoulds, anymore.
it's against social norms to be really excited about yourself we can care and
we can NOT care.
and what you're accomplishing, and how well you're doing, we can Love, give
love and feel loved.
and how Happy you are. Enjoy yourself. Pamper yourself. we can Dance, and Sing,
and Play
Push yourself. Get to know yourself. Love yourself! why? 'cause it FEELS Good… no
other reason.
(who could possibly do a better job than YOU?!?)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/docs/7StepsToHealingYourFeelings.pdf ha!
---
Ok, I'm going to make a run at it... starting today, Jan 17, 2006, I'm gonna
do
100 Tips in 100 Days!
Find out how to feel and keep feeling.
Find out how to love and keep loving.
Find out how to be open and keep being open.
Find out how to be aware and keep being aware.
Find out how to LIVE and keep on living!
We don't learn this stuff in school, so let me share with you some of the Amazing
tools we've found to help you live feel happier and be more successful.
Get one email delivered each morning, to lighten and brighten your day. Feel
inspired, and see how your relationships and your life make more sense everyday.
Join us as a learn and grow TOGETHER!
- Matt
Safe sign-up at the top right box (try it, unsubscribe any time). I guarentee
you will learn some things about what makes people Tick that you have Never
heard of before.
builds wisdom and street smarts.
---
you can actually Take someone as Preaching at you, or condescending,
---
find out how to feel and keep feeling.<br>
find out how to love and keep loving.<br>
find out how to LIVE and keep on living!<br>
Get an email delivered each morning, to lighten and brighten and make sense
of your day. (try it, unsubscribe any time.) <br>
---
could it be that some of the stuff you were yelling at me (sorta), were things
you want to yell at your family??
I suggest a more regular schedule of doing Anger work.
We need to create a Feelings Gym.
You come "Work Out" with your feelings.
building your Feelings Muscles
no pain, no gain attitude.
Let's go there, just like they do when lifting weights properly.
you go for the part of the muscle that's the weakest, and you stress it and
put into As much pain as you can stand,
in an effort to Make the Muscle Stronger!
Same goes with Feelings and Emotions.
They are muscles, that strengthen with age and exercise and use.
If you have wimpy Emotional Muscles, you'll be wimpy in your personal life.
snively, whiney, blaming, victim, co-dependant, addict, molester
BUT, if you find out How to Work those Emotional Muscles, so become STRONG, and Bold, and ALIVE, emotionally
You have Balls.
You can stand toe-to-toe with anyone in an argument, and usually end up Hugging
afterwards.
You can Speak your Mind.
You can Love, Boldly but Wisely.
You can Feel.
You have Passion, and Joy, and Closeness, and more Love in your life.
it's an easy sell, 'cause it makes sooo much difference, permanently.
I'm writing the content for NDW now.
I'll need help with organization, but the content is coming.
LongSaleLetter format
first screen, lots of pics
showing pain to happy
collage of unhappy, and happy
---
WRITE out Success Stories!!!
---
I've seen people semi-frantically trying to prove to their mother, or father, that they ARE good enough and they're NOT stupid.
I've seen people who have harbored intense anger, resentment and even rage, for years and years and years and years.
I've seen people dying from stress, smoking, drinking, drugs, __ all emotional driven "diseases".
---
"
See this tentacle? it's really shorter than all my other tentacles. but you
can't tell, espeically when I spin like this. >> << >>.
"
I'm H2O intollerant"
"
I'm obnoxious."
- Finding Nemo
"You think you can do these things, but you just CAN'T, Nemo."
---
the question is not about the Target Market. Target markets can limit you,
because we really do have a Universal message to tell. Some are local, some
are to a select group, a type of ailment.. but we're about ALL Ailments. how
to heal ALL nasty feelings. how to change ALL lives, from the youngest child
to the oldest man alive. EVERY single person Feels, and therefore EVERY single
person is our target market.
the only place that I'd limit it is here:
People who WANT to grow.
People who are SICK and tired of being Sick and Tired.
People who are not Happy Campers.
People who are Scared, a lot.
People who are Pissed off, a lot.
(wait, those last two apply to most people… but there's one thing missing… the
desire to Get Over It.
the pissed off feel righteous in being that way.
the scared are, well, scared, so they don't risk much or step out there on
the skinny limbs.
so, let me qualify.
---
come in every morning, open a Blog window and start writing there. b
yep.
100 Tips in 100 Days
---
... we are ahead of the curve here, ladies.
No one, anywhere, has figured out the Answers that we have... that so many
are seeking.
Why are we here?
To love and feel loved.
What is my purpose?
To help ourselves, and others, feel as loved as we possibly can, while we're
here.
How come I'm all over the place, emotionally?
It's ok, it's just Feelings. We'll show you how to deal with them -- so they
will be your LIFE, not your death.
Why can't I reach my potential? I know I could be so much more.
Internal Beliefs and behaviours (mostly unconscious), learned as a child (mostly
from watching your parents), based on Feelings (mostly unexpressed, stuck in
your body and jumbled up). We can show you a better way.
What if I've been diagnosed with a psychological disorder?
so? join the club. we're all wacko in our own ways.
it's about finding out HOW we're whacko, and then figure out what we're going
to DO about it.
how you're going to live with ourselves.
how to manage ourselves.
how to discipline ourselves.
how to make us into the most amazing Human around.
We can show you some simple, direct, easy to understand Life Lessons we've
ever seen.
and the best part is, THEY WORK!
I'll give you an example:
There are Two (2) Kinds of Guilt:
Punishing Guilt -- when you're Trashing yourself and beating yourself up for
something you did, or didn't do, usually involving someone else.
and
Productive Guilt -- when you are Learning your lesson, taking the consequences
of your actions boldly and maturly, and vowing inside yourself to Learn from
this experience and become a better man because of it.
Knowing that has Totally changed my life. seriously.
I was a guilt monger. punishing guilt. I've done plenty of stuff wrong, and
I was just bashing myself, for years over it all.
and you know what's the worst of it... constant punishing guilt, continuous
verbal bashings of yourself, by yourself, leads to MORE SCREW UPS, not less!
heck, how's the best way to beat yourself up but by doing the same, stupid,
assinine behaviors Again. consciously or unconsciously, this is NOT Acceptable.
some of the stuff I did was not acceptable. ever. ever again. none, zero, nada.
so I'd better friggin' Learn my lesson and figure out how to make damned sure
that these never happened again.
being clueless is no longer acceptable.
being naive doesn't cut it.
being a wimp is not ok, anymore.
This is NOT stuff you learn in school.
You are going to have to take the effort to get off your butt and go learn
it.
if you're just waiting for it to Come to you, it'll come alright, but not by
your choosing, and not in your time, and not with you aware and managing it
all.
it'll probably come and kick you in the a$$ (if you're still reading this,
you've probably been there already).
so I had to change that Punishing Guilt: trashing, discouraging, shame-based,
lower-my-eyes, slump-my-shoulders, feel bad about myself, and less than, and
down kinda feeling
... into ...
Productive Guilt: ok. so I screwed up. Now what? feel sorry for myself? feel
bad about myself? I don't think so. I've got too much shit to do, to accomplish,
to share, to feel. I want to Live my life. I don't want be a Potential, or
a drag, or an ass to be around. I want to live my life to the FULLest that
I can. I will learn from my mistakes. I will become a better person because
of them. I will help others do the same with their mistakes.
(hey, we've all made mistakes in our past, stuff we're not proud of... I'm
not alone here and neither are you... but it's just a matter of what we Do
with those mistakes now, emotionally, in the present and future, that counts.)
Managing Yourself is the key.
we need to
Know ourselves.
Accept ourselves
Love ourselves
Complete ourselves
so that....
we can Love more
we can Give more
we can Help more
we can Live more!
If you ain't Givin', you ain't Livin'!
---
I'll bet different people could Quantify how much is has been worth to them
to get in Touch with their Feelings.
I know for me, it has helped me substantially.
the difference between the jobs you would have gotten before learning about
yourself
and the jobs you Have gotten, because you are so aware.
plus, add the value to you on the Joy, and Love, and Freedom, and Intimacy
you've experienced along the way
and you've probably got a pretty nice number.
find out how to feel and keep feeling.
find out how to love and keep loving.
find out how to be open and keep being open.
find out how to be aware and keep being aware.
find out how to live and keep on living.
- Matt
---
it takes every kind of people
to make what life's about...
it takes every kind of people
to make the world go round.
...
protecting what he feels is right,
fights against wrong with his life.
there is no profit or deceipt,
honest men know that revenge does not taste sweet.
whether yellow, black or white,
each and every man's the same inside.
it takes every kind of people
to make the world go round.
Love's the only goal
that can bring a peace to any soul.
hey and every man's the same.
he wants the sunshine in his name.
it takes every kind of people
to make what life's about...
it takes every kind of people
to make the world go round.
every kind of people
to make what life's about, yeah.
' "Every kind of people", Robert Palmer posted to 2gh 1.11.06 05:14
---
part of our job, as leaders, is not only to feel More, it's to sometimes choose
to feel Less!
know ourselves
less emotion, less drama
esp. when dealing with business or professional situations.
and when others are freaking out, or over-dramatising, we stay calm. and cool.
esp. cool ;-)
---
---
I've mentioned the Couples class to a few more people and they loved the idea,
so I'm excited we're moving in this direction!
paula is skeptical about making ND optional.
I will send out an announcement to all via email when we're ready.
We'll need the brochure done, as a link to the online PDF, and attached.
Remind re: ND Feb 2.
Announce Couples
update on Jayne's memorial svc.
she's held a pillow for so many of you!
it worked for her, because she made it work.
if you're serious about getting better, and feeling better, you can't just
come to ND once and you're done.
it ain't no magic cure. (tho, I believe it is magic-al)
It's more a way of life. Some attitudes, beliefs and skills mixed together
to bring out wisdom, contentment and peace.
take a little kid's pain
add some abandonment
and abuse
and neglect
and lousy role models
and you end up with someone who's lost, hurting and down on themselves, and life.
Now add just one thing: Willingness to be uncomfortable.
an awareness that where you are is NOT where you want to Stay.
an understanding that it's "just" your feelings that are messed up,
but that there is Nothing more important to solve.
a willingness to face what needs facing, and tell the people who hurt you what
they did to you.
we'll help with the next part, the really hard part….
the allowing. the build-up, the realizations, the excitement, more build-up
as our body wants to release what it's been hanging on to for so many years….)
and it builds and it builds until finally WHAM!, you hit the Climax, the
crescendo, the peak, the boiling point of it all… and POP, it goes….
away…. sometimes never to return (on that subject, at least). yes,
it's that simple. The unexpressed feelings NEED to be Released, but if you
don't fight it, it actually doesn't take very long.
that's how we can do 20 people in one weekend. totally in their story, and their lives, and their pain… but not for very long. Like I said, it all has to do with how much you want to fight it, and deny it, and keep stuffing it away. Happily, you have Total Control of how difficult the whole process is for you (power tip: the fastest, easiest, most effective healing comes from just Letting Go -- totally giving your body permission to feel Whatever it feels, no matter how painful or angry-ful. I've seen people heal Amazingly quickly, if they just Allow it to happen naturally and completely. fantastic process, really.)
to honor Jayne's kick-butt style, kick your own butt into gear, as she would,
to face what you need to face.
deal with your past pains and angers.
they are NOT going to go away all by themselves. if they think they're not
effecting your life and you've got them under control, if you're like most
people, you're dreamin'. unexpressed issues must be expressed, and relieved,
and released. period.
you can do it alone, but you probably won't get as deep.
and it's too darned easy to fool ourselves. We can justify the behaviour the
same way we've always justified it to ourselves.
(personal note: Many of us long-timers have gotten darned good at "Self-Processing",
but still… there is magic when 2 or more of us are gathered in the name
of healing and good.)
we need someone to Pull our Covers.
to give us External Feedback, and direction
and lots and lots of HUGS, as we cry away our pains and sorrows from years
gone by.
It ain't pretty, and it ain't fun, but it's gotta be Done!
be a man. face your fears. get a grip on yourself. learn how to understand,
appreciate and Accept yourself.
learn who you are and what you want
learn how to communicate, really communicate, with people
learn how to connect with others, and feel the magic that's there.
get rid of some guilt
get rid of some rage
get rid of some fears
get rid of some pain
feel heard,
and safe,
and accepted,
and loved,
and special.
come out feeling Lighter,
and softer,
and encouraged,
and hopeful,
and free!
Join us on Feb 3.
- Matt
---
http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/issues/1999/December/finding.htm#Anchor-49575
---
http://www.marsvenus.com/tests/blockbuster.php
How to Process Your Past
It is easy to process your past. With a little practice, you will have discovered
your inner power to remove all the blocks. There are four basic steps. Step
One is as follows:
Step One: Linking Feelings to Your Past
Become aware of your block and link the corresponding negative feeling to your
past. Each of the twelve blocks is linked to a variety of painful circumstances.
Anxiety, the block we are dealing with here, is linked to the feeling Hopelessness.
If it is difficult to link your present feelings with past feelings, use these
questions:
Recall a time when you felt hopeless in some way.
Recall a time when you felt you didn't know what to do.
Recall a time when you were late.
Recall a time when someone you needed left or died.
Recall a time when you were unable to do something well.
Recall a time when you were not as good as others.
Recall a time when you couldn't make up your mind.
Recall a time when you didn't have enough information.
Recall a time when you didn't have enough help.
Recall a time when you got mixed messages.
Recall a time when you didn't know why you were punished.
Recall a time when you didn't know why you were hurt in some way.
Recall a time when you didn't know how to get out of something.
Recall a time when you were chased.
Now you should:
Go to Step Two: Write a feeling letter to express the four levels of emotions
that are linked to your block.
Step Two: Write a Feeling Letter
The feeling letter format is a little different for each of the twelve blocks.
By using the chart at the bottom of this page, you can determine which emotions
will provide the best release and in what sequence. Using the chart, you can
create the appropriate feeling letter by exploring the emotion linked to the
block and then the next three emotions on the chart. Every time you write a
feeling letter to remove a block it generally takes four different emotions
in succession to create a complete release. Sometimes it may be necessary to
skip around the feeling chart to discover your unexpressed emotions, but usually
the suggested format will suffice.
For anxiety: recall a time when you felt hopeless, and then explore fear, sorrow,
frustration, and disappointment.
Writing a Feeling Letter
Now that you have selected the four appropriate emotions, decide to whom you
want to address your letter. Generally, when you address a feeling letter to
your parents you are able to release the deepest feelings. Even if you did
not know a parent, you have a relationship with your mother or father in your
mind and heart. You can always imagine talking to them. You may also choose
to write a feeling letter to anyone who has bothered you or to anyone to whom
you feel a connection and whose support you would like.
After selecting the appropriate feeling and emotions for a block, use the lead-in
phrases to assist you in expressing them. At the end of your letters, express
what you want. For each of the levels, write for at least two minutes. In this
way, after ten to fifteen minutes, you will have completed the letter.
The feeling letter is for your own healing. It is not necessary to send it
to someone.Sharing your feelings from a more resolved and loving perspective
when you believe your feelings will be heard is always a good idea.
Dear
I feel hopeless when
I am afraid that
I am sorry that
I am frustrated that
I am disappointed that
I want
love
Step One: Linking Feelings to Your Past
Become aware of your block and link the corresponding negative feeling to your
past. Each of the twelve blocks is linked to a variety of painful circumstances.
Guilt, the block we are dealing with here, is linked to the feeling Unworthiness.
If it is difficult to link your present feelings with past feelings, use these
questions:
Recall a time when you felt unworthy in some way.
Recall a time when you were misbehaving.
Recall a time when you were not helpful.
Recall a time when you were not what others thought about you.
Recall a time when you were not good enough in some way.
Recall a time when you let others down.
Recall a time when your body was not big enough or was too big.
Recall a time when you realized something about your body was flawed or imperfect.
Recall a time when something happened that had to be kept secret.
Recall a time when you couldn't talk about something.
Recall a time when you couldn't tell your mother.
Recall a time when you couldn't tell your father.
Recall a time when you couldn't stop something.
Recall a time when you didn't measure up to someone's expectations.
Recall a time when you couldn't tell the truth.
Recall a time when you were inappropriate.
Recall a time when you made a mistake.
Recall a time when you upset somone.
Recall a time when you felt you had more than others.
Recall a time when you kept someone waiting.
Recall a time when you felt different.
Now you should:
Go to Step Two: Write a feeling letter to express the four levels of emotions
that are linked to your block.
Dear
I feel unworthy when
I am ashamed that
I am angry that
I am sad that
I am afraid that
I want
love
---
Before you call it Quits, give us a try -- we think you'll be amazed at how
much healing we can help you accomplish in just one weekend.
---
Our approach is a straight-forward, feelings-based approach.
Matt, Paula and Doc have created a very natural, direct, feelings-based approach
to dealing with past issues, ongoing pains and recurring behaviours.
They combine Cognitive (thoughts) / Affective (feelings) / Behavioural (actions).
Doc says that at the base of it all, are the Feelings (where most people don't
want to go.) so that's where we focus. Take home points:
Feelings are a good thing, not a bad thing.
If you know what you feel, you'll know who you are, and what you want.
Feelings expressed verbally will reduce in intensity and are free to change.
(translation: feel it, and it will pass. ignore it, and it will linger)
You can turn your anger to love, your sadness to joy and your depression into
Personal Power!
---
Depression, the block we are dealing with here, is linked to the feeling Abandonment.
If it is difficult to link your present feelings with past feelings, use these
questions:
Recall a time when you felt ababdoned in some way.
Recall a time when you were left behind.
Recall a time when you were unhappy.
Recall a time when you were left alone.
Recall a time when you were lost.
Recall a time when you were rejected.
Recall a time when you were left out.
Recall a time when you were not picked.
Recall a time when you were not missed.
Recall a time when you were forgotten.
Recall a time when someone was late.
Recall a time when someone left.
Recall a time when someone else got all the attention.
Recall a time when you were less popular.
Recall a time when someone disappointed you.
Recall a time when you experienced failure or defeat.
Now you should:
Go to Step Two: Write a feeling letter to express the four levels of emotions
that are linked to your block.
Dear
I feel abandoned when
I am sad that
I am afraid that
I am sorry that
I am frustrated that
I want
love
etc. 12 blocks in all
Anxiety, Blame, Confusion, Depression, Guilt, Indecision, Indifference, Judgment,
Perfectionism, Procrastination, Resentment, Self-pity
---
thought: some day soon, when we are making over $2k per class, I want lunch
to be catered, or at least, we buy (like a mega-Subway)
---
read this… draws a nice picture of their day-long class.
http://www.marriageprep101.com/listofservices.html
Their get-tough motto? Love isn't enough. They coach new couples to frankly
talk with each other about their expectations for money, sex, kids, work, religion,
and infidelity — what they call marriage planning,
…
and "To celebrate their status as Mr. and Mrs. (or Mr. and Mr. or Mrs.
and Mrs.), you can do better for your newly betrothed friends than a nonstick
bundt pan send them to relationship boot camp."
"
We suggest you take an online relationship questionnaire called RELATE that
will generate information of your values, expectations, personality and family
of origin experiences as well as communication and conflict resolution styles."
---
story re: RELATE: http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/issues/1999/December/finding.htm
David Mace once remarked, "Marriage is the deepest and potentially the
most gratifying of all human relationships, but it is also one of the most
demanding. Unfortunately couples seldom have more preparation than a little
advice from their parents and a new set of china."
http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/case_for_marriage_prep.aspx
With the risk for divorce in the United States hovering around 40-50%, it's
startling that so few people take marriage preparation seriously. One study
showed that only 30% participated in even one to two hours of marriage preparation.
A 1997 U.S. national survey showed that only 36 percent of couples married
in the previous five years had premarital counseling through their religious
organization. Recent studies of college young adults show that more than 90
percent say they believe marriage preparation is important but only 35% intend
to formally prepare.
The top ten problem areas researchers have identified are:
Balancing job and family
Frequency of sexual relations
Debt brought into marriage
Husband's employment
Finances
Expectations about household tasks
Constant bickering
Communication with spouse
Problems with parents or in-laws
Lack of time spent together
Relationship Questionnaires
The RELATionship Evaluation (RELATE) Questionnaire covers every major predictor
of marital quality. It provides an illustrated report covering more than
60 aspects of the relationship. http://www.relate-institute.org. It can be
completed within about one hour.
FOCCUS asks 189 questions, then produces a couple profile. It is available
in four editions: General, Christian Non-Denominational, Catholic, and Alternate
(for learning impaired). http://www.foccusinc.com
PREPARE requires that couples locate a counselor in their area trained in this
program. The counselor administers the 195-question test and provides three
to six counseling sessions based on the test results. http://www.lifeinnovations.com
---
http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/marriage_enrichment.aspx? (LDS-based)
"Those who advocate self-help alone, however, should know that research
tells us many marriage enrichment programs show benefits greater than self-help
approaches. The most effective programs tend to be highly structured, meaning
they focus on teaching specific skills, including communication, problem solving,
adaptability, and conflict resolution. They also teach the importance of commitment,
love, forgiveness, and friendship."
see list of other Marriage Enrichment programs
get listed on: http://www.smartmarriages.com, at http://www.smartmarriages.com/directorylisting.html
$50 - 100 word listing (100 wrds must include header and contact info)
$200 - 100 word listing plus the Schedule/Posting option
hundreds of listings at: http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html
John Gray's site. with message boards, coaching and workshop at his ranch in
Mendocino, CA!
http://www.marsvenus.com/
new dating service (beta): http://www.marsvenusdating.com/index.php
newsletter signup: http://www.marsvenus.com/newsletter.php
white listing the newsletter: http://www.marsvenus.com/one-more-thing.php
Coaching: For expert love advice from our experienced and professionally trained
coaches, call now! 1-888-627-7836
Block Buster success test: http://www.marsvenus.com/tests/blockbuster.php
---
RELATE Questionnaire: https://www.relate-institute.org/Faq.aspx
The RELATE questionnaire is $10 per person, $20 per couple.
The READY questionnaire is $10 per person.
You can purchase "tokens" to take the assessment online via the Institute's
secure server. All major credit cards accepted.
Your token will allow you to register with a username and password, valid until
you have completed your assessment and received your report.
Price includes the complete questionnaire, a full-color report you can download
and print from your printer, and technical support during your assessment.
For questions regarding your questionnaire, contact us at (801) 422-4359 or
via e-mail at relate@byu.edu
sample report: https://www.relate-institute.org/media/SampleRELATE.pdf
READY (pre-marriage): https://www.relate-institute.org/media/SampleREADY.pdf
Emotional Readiness scale
Family Background scale
Effective Communication scale
Conflict Resolution scale
Problem Areas scale
Religiosity / Spirituality scale
conclusion: Challenges Checklist
RELATE works for:
People in serious dating relationships struggling with the decision to commit
or break up
Engaged couples preparing for a lasting marriage
Newlyweds setting goals and learning to compromise
Married couples seeking to improve their relationship and understand their
conflicts
professionals: fax Doc's license to: (801) 422-0225
2gethelp / 2gethelp created 1.9.06
spoke to rep on phone 1.10.06
$10, or for $5, 50% discount
RELATE
we purchase tokens
they take the test, then put in the code, rather then paying
281 questions
45 minutes, or an hour and a half per couple
results: about 30 seconds
will be saved at their place
accessible later on their server, print-able anytime
Couples, link
single, before connection Only
then, at end, combines
READY - 11 pages
RELATE for couples - 13 pages
detailed, 3 parts
summary only, 7 pages, w/graphs
5 pages of more resources (optional)
801-422-4359
Fax license to 801-422-0225
BYU Outreach, made by professors on campus
mailto:relate@byu.edu
2-3,000/mo. take it!
---
more thoughts
With the feeling approach:
Heal old Wounds
Set and Agree to new Boundaries and Rules that work for both of you.
Have an affair in your past that you're trying to Heal and Forgive?
Are money issues causing distance and arguments?
Can't seem to get your Sex lives flowing nicely together?
One of you wants kids and the other doesn't… what do you do?
Trust issues.
Intimacy issues.
Co-dependency issues.
Addiction issues.
we don't just help you resolve a few of your biggest Issues,
we show you How to Deal with Issues, when they come up (and they sure do).
Communication skills
Listening skills
Empathy skills
Personal Responsibility skills
Honest, Dependability
Openness and Closeness
Release your backed-up Anger and Rage.
Face your Fears and BEAT THEM!
Release some of your sadness and guilt and pain.
Claim your Personal Power!
Learn to love, and Love BIG(!), but wisely, with eyes wide open.
Find your inner Wisdom.
Learn to Like, Love and trust the most important person in the world -- YOU!
Begin to Accept, and Acknowledge your past, your roots, your upbringing
so you can face it, tackle it, beat it and defeat it.
there is no power stronger than that.
There becomes NOTHING that you can't handle.
There is no deamon you won't face.
There is no obstacle too high. (you may choose not to do what it costs to achieve
a certain goal, but you Will go into it knowing.)
(fizzles out… goes back to 'real' work grrr…)
---
I have almost no income at this moment, computer wise.
CDF is it., oh and $2k from ETRade over the next month.
we can't pay Dec's Beneficial bill and have nothing for Jan.
what am I going to do about it? not we, I.
that's where I get stuck.
if I'm unhappy about something, then I'm mean, and outta line. period.
it's a wonderful tool to avoid being called on their own sh~~.
I have some work I could do, and 1 I have to do that E^TRAVEL enhancement.
but I gotta do the website work, too.
it's working on EucProducts.com $230 in income over last 2 weeks. not totally
passive, as I spent time corresponding with most.
but have possibility for 2 monthly packs.
---
Relationships to yourself and others. Heal and feel at these emotional awareness,
break-through workshops in California USA. Weekend experiential seminars
will teach you, show you and help you feel better, permanently.
(optional ending)
You don't have to live in pain anymore -- Join us as we heal, together…
--
the heck with it… just send 'em right to the Testimonials page!
---
How about this:
"Feeling and Healing your Relationships"
or
"Feeling and Healing in Relationships"
"I want to feel closer! Feeling and healing in relationships."
"Heal your relationships: it's the key to Happiness."
ok, so let's say we focus on relationships.
---
Article Submissions
Structure your article. Discover how to create articles that Ezine Editors
will find simply irresistible.
Title your article. The right title for your article could be the difference
between having your writing published or trashed.
Make your articles more readable.
Include exactly the right information. Ezine Editors know the serious contributors
as much by the header information you include, as by the contents of your article.
Personalize your submission. This is absolutely vital. I'll show you how to
do it right!
Format your articles correctly (yes there is a right and wrong way). I'm going
to give you a copy of the excellent Ezy Ezine Ad Formatter software that I
use myself, absolutely free of charge. I normally sell this separately for
$26.50 (see here).
How to create your own killer resource box
---
GoDaddy shopping cart, $9.95/mo.
Merchant Account
Application-fee** $89.00
Discount rate 2.59%
Per-transaction fee $0.35
Monthly Statement Fee $20.00
Chargeback Fee $15 Amex Application Fee $25 Discover Application Fee $25 Early
Termination 1 - 6 months $395
over 6 months $295 Application numbers
AMEX 1-800-528-5200
Discover 1-800-347-2000
Monthly Statement Fee $20
SSL = $19.95/year
---
Healing and Feeling your Relationships 12.31.05
If you aren't in touch with your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT managing
yourself or your life as best you can! To heal our past, and to feel real intimacy
in our relationships, we must go inside -- deep inside -- to the depths of
our being. Past the pain, sadness, guilt, anger and depression to that place
where Love, Joy, Serenity, Passion, Sex and Fun all live. Click in, read on.
Love more, cry less, LIVE FREE > > >
---
If you're not in touch with your F&E's, you are only feeling part of your
life!
If you only allow 50% of your emotions, you'll only feel 50% of your Life!
maybe that's a good idea.
maybe, when there is so much pain from the past, or current,
it's better to Feel less. To Care less. To Cry less.
maybe it's about being able to Manage our feelings, for real.
care less about this, and more about this.
Prioritizing = Levels of Caring
You can't cut off one feeling without cutting them all off.
You can only feel HAPPY, as much as you are willing to FEEL.
You can only feel your Love, as much as you are willing to feel your Anger.
You can only feel your Joy, as much as you are willing to feel your Sadness.
You can only feel your Peace, as much as you are willing to feel your Fear.
It's a package deal.
you can't have one without the other.
---
Don't Give a Shit 101
Loving
Loving Yourself
Loving Others
Anger
Anger in Relationships
Anger at Yourself
Anger at God
Anger at the whole World
Sadness
Sadness from Death
Sadness from Divorce
Guilt
Guilt that Helps
Guilt that Kills
Shame
Shame, where it comes from
Shame, how to get rid of it
NLP
Right-brained Feelings
Pictures, how to Change 'em in your head
Boundaries
Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries for Yourself
Intimacy
Intimacy with a Spouse
Intimacy with Friends
Intimacy with your Kids
Intimacy with your Parents
Intimacy with your Siblings
Opening your Heart (aka Give a Shit)
Opening your Heart to Yourself
Opening your Heart to Others
Closing your Heart (aka Don't Give a Shit… actually, how to fall out
of love, when in pain, when someone is creaming you, emotionally)
Closing your Heart to someone who left you
Closing your Heart to someone who you left
Closing your Heart to someone who had an affair on you
Closing your Heart to someone who you hit you
…
Situational Learning
How to Deal your Feelings when:
ADHD
Fibermyalgia
PTSD symptoms
BPD
Paranoia
etc.
---
you're alone, all by yourself.
it takes more, than you want to give, baby
It takes more, than you're willing to feel, darling.
it takes more, than you than making a wish, honey.
it takes more, to find what you're missing, missing, missing, girl.
it takes more than
a whole lotta me, a whole lotta you.
you deny what you feel inside
it's alright, what you feel.
hang tight.
'cause when it's right you will see.
"It takes more."
Nevelle Brothers
---
We've learned how to kick some ass. Read on to find out how you can be stronger,
wiser, sexier, healthier, happier, more successful, more attractive, and more...
04:26 12.30.05
---
Hey. wassup?
You wanna hear some about me, I will tell you (without boring you).
I was a clueless, naive, pot-addicted, immature, caring-mostly-about-myself jerk. Now I'm not anymore.
I had to Get a Clue. and so do you
(Congrats, if you already have one!).
Most young people today (and many middle-aged, and even a lot of older folks)
have no idea how to handle their Feelings and Emotions.
Especially when it comes to their Relationships.
The way we learned how to do our Relationships is from our Parents and any adults that we lived with as kids. Did your Mom and your Dad show you or tell you how to have a healthy, loving, satisfying relationship? mine didn't. I had to figure it out myself.
In order to make my relationship work, I needed to change.
I had to deal with my issues. my anger, my abandonment, my shame-based upbringing.
and I had to get a clue.
I had to stop hurting people.
I had to stop screwing up.
I had to stop being a co-dependant wimp.
I had to stop wandering around lost in my life.
I had to find a better way to live.
and I did.
I am here to report to you that I found out how to change it. all of it... (we've been married now for over 16 years!).
it's all about:
Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions.
It sounds too simple, or mushy, or trite but I can tell you, it works. You see, together we've been teaching an intensive weekend workshop called New Directions for over 18 years now. we've been teaching the same basic class, the same basic material, over 200 times in 4 states. Why the same for so long? because it works.
there are no secrets. no smoke and mirrors. no bait and switch.
we've just found some basic truths about relationships and about life that
really work.
here’s the basic premise to the whole thing:
"
Feelings expressed fully will reduce in intensity and are free to change."
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
In other words, "Feelings are a Good thing, not a Bad thing."
or put even more simply, "Love really is the answer."
with this simple change in attitude, good things are happening...
people are Healing from their painful, dysfunctional childhoods.
people are learning a new way to live that works, for them, for their relationships,
for their family, their friends and everyone around them.
people are Happier.
people are more Successful.
people are more Fulfilled.
life-long Depressions are down, or gone
post-War stress (PTSD) is being healed, permanently
Marriages and parental relationships have been saved, and Blossomed.
Self-Esteem, personal Power, Love, Courage and Joy are all up, Up, UP!!
People who are following these teachings are living Happier, Healthier, Safer, more Loving Lives. lots of people. over lots of years.
… and the tools are totally, 100%, free of charge, 24/7, every single
moment of your life
it's natural, it's healthy, it's passion and it's freedom,
it's yours and it's you.
please read on and learn how to deal with your Feelings & Emotions. for real. This is probably a skill that you DO NOT have, and one that you REALLY NEED to have.
We de-mystify how your feelings work, what makes you tick, how and why therapy, coaching and workshops work so well, how to create courage and personal power inside yourself, how to effectively deal with your anger and guilt and pain, how to build pride and self-esteem, and so on… things you can use. things you can take with you. things that work.
Good luck and Keep Feeling!
with much Love (just 'cause it feels so good!),
- Matt
typepad extended biography before 12.30.05
Helping people make their lives Look, and more importantly FEEL, the way they
want!
Matt Perelstein combines a unique blend of "attitude, with heart".
He's all about getting results in your life and relationships (especially that
all-important relationship with yourSELF!) There's a tricky balance between
selfishness and selflessness (taking vs. giving), but it
can be done… and it works. If you can truly learn to "take care
of yourself" and "take control of your life", you will be able
to GIVE so much more, and for more years.
Matt has been providing the life-changing New Directions Workshops across California and the western US for the past 17 years. Power, Emotion, Intensity, Humour and tons of LOVE and HUGS! ... with Acceptance, Hope, Determination, ALIVENESS.and JOY!
For years, Matt has been working closely with the widely-published therapist, author and leader in the human potential movement, M.K. "Doc" Downing, PhD, LMFT. Doc is the author of "Taking Control of Your Life" textbook and workbook, "Anatomy of a Victim" and "Doc's Quotable Quotes".
Perelstein's high-energy, "whatever it takes" style allows his students to feel important, validated and safe to feel whatever they need to feel. "If I can accept your feelings, maybe you can accept them too." He has a no-nonsense style that helps people break-through limiting beliefs and self-destructive behaviours, while feeling loved and supported.
Write for more on being Coached on your feelings and emotions, to just say Hey, or to connect with Matt to discuss possible networking / partnering opportunities.
My best to you, always.
- Matt
---
I just need a faster, easier funnel than I have now.
---
a pattern is emerging.
first thing, I'm pretty fired up.
so write first.
write 'til mid to late morning
on an inspired day, write all morning.
I need to be able to live on that, half-time computer work
that's it.
I didn't make my goal of Replacing my computer income with pg income, but "I'm
moving in the right direction."
I often don't make my goals.
so, I swallow hard, and probably cry a bit.. but that's ok. it's a sad thing.
so what did I learn from that? (that's the key here).
the reason I KNOW without a doubt, that I WILL succeed, is that I AM ALREADY
SUCCEEDING. For Me.
"I'm going in the right direction."
those are the most beautiful words, to me.
they mean so much.
we're not often "there", where we want to be in some areas of our
lives, but dammit, I can make sure I'm going in the right direction.
"Am I doing my best -- my very best?" or is there more I can do?
Oh, I hope so. I hope it's my fault that I haven't gotten where I want to go.
I hope that << I >> am the cause of all the problems. I hope it's
me. Why? Because then, and only then, can I actually DO SOMETHING about it!
I'm mostly interested with those things that I can do something about. call
me a control freak, but I like it. If I'm not in control of my life, then
who is?
If I'm a ship sailing thru life (I feel more like a rocket sometimes when
I get fired up about stuff > > !!), then who's at the wheel?
it's a fairly complicated device. Our feelings, our beliefs, our values, our
thoughts, our goals, our Loves, our joys, our pain.... it all gets so muddled
up sometimes.
--
you know who encourages me to keep writing. verbally.
LJ did. a few others. not many, and not much.
I have to totally Believe that what I'm doing is working. and is right. and
is with integrity.
If I was trying to rip you off, by "claiming" to have things and not having them, then we would be "found out" quickly.
We need a community coordinator.
online and offline
sales person, willing to
Gay, contact all grads, somewhere in the conversation, ask them if they'd like
to review?
"What is your lasting impression of ND? How do you feel about New Directions?" -something
like that.
---
"
I'm parenthetically speaking."
---
Anger
Sadness
Depression
Guilt and Shame
Now What?!?
Personal Responsibility
Setting Boundaries
Be Nice, and Keep being Nice, until it's time to not be nice.
they were expecting a fight. so can you. they will come. from somewhere. like
it or not. Be ready.
I believe we are preparing for war.
At least, I am.
I fully expect that we will have to Fight again.
fight for our home. fight for our family. fight for democracy. fight for our
way of life.
I am actively making myself as strong, emotionally and physically, as agile,
as in-shape, as aware and as Ready as I can be.
I'm not a paranoid nut (well, maybe a little… but as they say, "even
paranoids have enermies."
(time out for a hit of Dave Matthews & Santana…)
and Sarah McGlaughlin (sp) singing proud about angels
---
build a drumset outside
with logs, some hor, some vert
---
CS.
he's the leader. he's the best.
he invites them to come play with him, but he takes over their song.
while they're both playing, it's their tune and their words but he's lead guitar.
---
I don't think you have to Be the best.
In fact, you probably Won't be the best, except in certain situations.
so you have got to have the Balls to LEAD the Best.
people bigger, and badder, and meaner than you.
now That's Courage, I don't care who you are.
"now that thar's funny, I don't care who you are…"
- Larry the Cable Guy in Jeff Foxworthy's "Blue Collar Comedy Tour"
use these for hits
you just Know. You gotta Know.
Not guess.
Not maybe, I'll-think-about-it, wait-a-sec.
You gotta KNOW. FER SURE !! !@!@!@! !!
You gotta be BAD.
You gotta know your Strengths, and your Weaknesses.
Where are you supposed to learn this stuff (shit)?
At the School of Hard-Knocks right?
You get slammed up side your head, to the point where you better Get a Clue
or Die.
Most of us have been slammed, hard.
either we got slammed as a child, a teenager, or a an adult, makes no difference.
I would say that MOST adults have been through some kind of life-changing,
earth-shattering level of Emotions
personal tragedy, huge emotional Smack in the face (or somewhere south of there).
---
rachel is kathy's fav of ayla's friends. 12.24.05 7:36p waiting to go pick
up PR from Holiday Inn Express pool, with Myah.
I hope Rachel got the attention she needed.
actually, I don't think it was attention with her. she can honestly do with
it or without it. in fact, she's the most powerful I've ever seen in that
area.
he does a solo in the middle of each one, kinda drawing the song out, adding his flavor and intensity.
If you're willing to get in front of people, it should be possible.
and able, emotionally.
there's people
it's possible that there is no Sadam __ (oh, i already forgot his name. they
stopped talking about him bec it was a huge failure by the baddest force in
the world. ouch. we lost that one, against 1 dude. and he won. double ouch.
This Saddam trials are a huge farce as he swears at the judge and jury, calls
them names and sometimes doesn't show up at all.. and they let him. I don't
get that part. There's humanitarian and then there's plain old wimpy. everybody
knows what he's done. punishment should be swift and severe… or we look
like wimps. we've tied our own hands by passing too many laws.
I'd like a president who had some balls.
Christmas will stay in schools.
we will say the Pledge of Allegiance every day.
If you don't like it, go back from whence you came.
we're overdoing thi.
yep, you're going to piss off a few people, but not that many
have the nerve to stand up for what's Right, what's American.
Matt's Rants
it would be nice if typepad worked.
I've had Lots of down time, when I couldn't post.
and if I don't actually post, I don't finish thoughts, and so go away completely.
these are random thoughts, but those are more focused, or intended to be interesting,
or feelings-oriented.
designing and developing the message is more important than making a bunch
of money at it, yet.
when we get it right, and get our organizational act together,
---
I'd like some paid staff. I think I could handle them well, now.
doc, present to __ Donuts
do bus. plan Maria Marsala, 1-page Business Plan
that would be money best spent.
something to present.
I could give a great presentation.
---
best beat:
Corazon Espinado with CS
cha-cha-cha cha-cha-cha cha-cha-cha
aye-aye-aye
---
12.24.05 8:38p
I like the feeling of doing the right thing, always, consistently, affirmitively,
completely
that overshadows any feelings I might have about being sneaky, or illegal,
or out-of-bounds.
Feelings vs. Feeling
Head to Head 1:on:1
Ready? Go.
who's gonna win?
your fear of your anger, or your knowledge that the anger MUST come out, so
you're gonna Let it.
so that means it's your one Fear vs. your other Fear. what's safe vs. what's
right.
who's gonna win?
that depends. on you.
THAT's what I mean, when I say that you can CHOOSE your feelings.
I can choose to Experience my fear. Listen to my fear. Learn from my Fear.
not be afraid of my fear. or let it scare me so bad that it STOPs me.
I can monitor my fear. I may be afraid, very afraid. but that's ok.
I can still function.
I can still think clearly. under pressure.
You gotta learn how to deal with the pressur.e and still function.
cause it's the pressu.re that makes you learn, and makes you Fast, and keeps
you alert and ready.
---
Remember Leo Buscaglia's Love 101?
that's us! We teach people how to Love, in healthy, win-win, Wonderful way!
---
12.19.05 sun 09:29 in mh on cinnabar court
(\/)
How does the computer know.
I have to make it know.
I have to teach it how to know.
it doesn't know that it doesn't know.
like people and their feelings.
they don't know that they don't know.
(makes for an interesting Marketing problem).
---
here's my question for ya'll.
I believe that my Target Market doesn't Know that they need what I'm selling.
In fact, my mission is to make people AWARE that they don't know, so they'll
figure out How to know. They can find out from me, or they can find out on
their own... doesn't matter... but what I'm 'selling' is that they need to
Find Out that they need to find out.
---
my
what is that?
what's up with that?
my
what's the worst thing?
war, a behaviour
or
is it stupidity and self-centered-ness
nope, there's no such thing as stupidity,
it's just absense of intelligence.
there's unconscious, emotion-based thoughts and actions
there's greed, and arrogance, and self-centered-ness
it's about getting what you want, no matter whether it hurts others or not.
that's the dif.
win-win, not win-lose
be clear on where you stand.
esp. in personal relationships.
yep, Relationships, I think that's the key.
Self- this and that is cool, but it's not enuf, and it there;s no commitment.
much higher chance of succeeding if committed to something bigger than you.
I still cannot believe that we are even remotely ok with going to war based
on lies.
---
"
oh. music. I'm drawn to dance..."
- Porthos, Oliver Platt's character in "The Three Muskateers"
---
singing together fosters intimacy.
---
the opposite of feeling Abandoned is feeling Intimate.
---
not just removing the negative, creating the positive.
2nd ND class.
---
Chris Barrow, in '97.
quarterly workshops, and a 45-minute call per week model
now, open Tues - Thurs.
1 hour, once a month, questions and answers. "How can I help?"
same 6-10 will ask questions, another 30-40 will just show up and listen.
as many emails as you wish (but only answered T-Th)
Call In day. online appt. scheduler. 15-minute laser coaching call. I call
them.
no How are you, how's the weather, savey customer write ahead with questions.
"Hi. How can I help?", almost always handled easily in 15 minutes.
can do separate phone call, but very rare.
1 year committment program, about 40% will do 2 years, 15% 3 years
what does it take? the nerve to tell your clients that that's how it's gonna
be done, starting 1.1.06
$1.2M
1/3 of gross on support
1/3 on operational costs
1/3 for him
work 4 days a week, with 12 weeks vacation per year
speaking, coaching and writing 3days a week
other day is leader
100 coaches thru Coaching Business School in past 2 years, maybe 1/3 have gyms
in place
TeleSummit, 3 things
a. What does my Support team look like, what do they do, how much do they get
paid
b. Coaching model, how is it delivered, quarterly workshops, gym, call-in days
c. Marketing, not pushy, not aggressive, persistent, professional, core funnel
new: Online Business School, goal for 2006
www.TheCoachingBusinessSchool.com
www.TheCoachingGym.com
starts only in January. only have to market once a year.
hunting season starts Sept.1, after the summer
---
We teach people about people. Why we do what we do, and what makes us tick.
We also help people BREAK-THROUGH their pent-up or unexpressed Feelings in
a natural, healthy, life-enhancing ways.
---
AUDIO INTRO
Hi. I'd like to welcome you to the New Directions Workshop site.
I'm Matt. I work here.
Let's talk, shall we?
How are you Feeling today?
Do you feel good? or bad?
Happy? or sad?
or do you even know how, or what, you feel?
I'm here to tell you that Feelings are the Key.
How can you feel Happy, if you can't even Feel?
How can you deal with your anger and sadness, if you don't understand them
and try hard to avoid them?
There is hope.
There is Love.
There is joy, and yes, in This very lifetime.
You don't need to come all the way out to California to learn what we're teaching.
It's about Feelings. It's all about Feelings.
Happy, Joy, Contentment, Pleasure, Love, Sex, Enjoyment, Fullfilment, Satisfaction,
Security, Safety, Warmth, Caring
along with heartfelt Sadness, justifiable Anger, extreme Courage, and explosive
Personal Power.
it's about Laughing and Crying, Living and Dying.
I welcome you to read more about what's happenin' at the New Directions weekend
Workshops….
there is some real life-changing going on.
People will tell you, that after the workshop, their life is changed, totally
changed, for the better.
Like the lights came on…
Like the world went from black-and-white, to living COLOR.
Like their heart had opened, and relaxed, after years of being closed, and
protected, and sheltered.
Like their Smile was bigger and broader than it's been in a long, long time.
Like they Had More Energy, and felt Lighter, and Brighter, and Clean.
---
do a rant (manifesto) on www.ChangeThis.com
---
13x ordered
Friday
call embroidery lady back
---
more on Target Market
young, or young at heart
struggling
trying
ready
semi-desparate
feeling people
mostly women,
but men are catchin' up! (on)
---
Are you:
single, by choice
single, again
single, still
single, dammit!
single, divorced
single, divorced, again and again.
single, divorced, and Pissed at him/her.
single, divorced, relieved.
re-married and lovin' it!
re-married and hatin' it!
married, again
married, still
married, having affairs of the heart &/or body
married, bored
married, distant and cold
married, warm and loving and Yummy!
I'm getting a better picture of it.
If I could write a business plan, I could fund this. no doubt.
If you're interested in a movement to help Educate America on how to Take
Control of Your Feelings & Emotions.
Speak out…
< here >
---
If I had any balls at all, I'd quit CDF, CalClosets
keep working with Bob on MCIL
complete work with AJ
not sure what'll happen next year with CDF
KPMG? if mods by Jan, do 'em, then give 'em to Tom?
find a replacement for IQ, and Aztek
finish up with CAW, CIWMB/WMW
see what happens with PLS
be there for Roach
12.14.05
---
I'd like an introduction.
have someone call, ask for the person, then Please Hold for Matt, (what??)
---
Downloads are better. A report, a paper, a rant.
---
(oh, I love the way I've been writing lately. I hardly have to edit it after
I'm done writing! I say what I feel. I can almost type along with my thoughts,
and I detect and correct my errors as I go. I speak, in my head, in full
sentences (whoa). I'm really enjoying it... and really wanting to do it more.
---
we are not just building the classes, we're building an entire Company.
in fact, 2 of them. Directions Unlimited and 2GetHelp.com. one for profit,
one non.
I think we're ready to blow.
I'm aware now that I cannot do it alone.
and even better, I am better able to handle people, and situations, and decisions,
and money.
and business(es).
that's my challenge.
to make both DU and 2GH into viable businesses.
and we have a great start.
but we know not where to go from here.
When you come, I want to sit down quietly, the 4 of us, and decide where we
want to go with this.
Neither of us like what we do... it's done fast, and it's done well, but it's
purely done out of need for $$.
yuck.
that makes us a victim, and I don't like that.
not one bit.
and it makes me angry.
and I USE my anger to Motivate me.
(and away I go… may trigger)
I let myself feel ANGRY pretty often. It's important!
I am Angry at lots of things in daily life.
but it's the Reason I'm angry, that I like.
You see, if you're Angry at someone or something for the wrong reasons, it's
no Fun.
but if you can Angry to serve a Purpose. to help you. to Better your life.
THEN, it can be Fun.
Let's say you're pissed at your Mom, because she beat you, bad, when you were little. Totally unacceptable and violating to you and your spirit. Totally. you were trashed as a kid and you had no idea what to DO with all those Feelings you had. You couldn't cry. You couldn't Scream. So what the HECK were you supposed to do with them.
You know you HAD all those feelings. and they're still in there.
They happened. that's it.
you were a little kid, wide-eyed at the amazing world out there and WHAM! the little kid gets slammed by some horrible, painful Life Event.
Shit happens to children, that MUST be resolved emotionally as an adult.
If you didn't fully feel all those amazingly negative emotions WHEN they happened
they're STILL IN THERE! anger, Rage, sadness, guilt, shame, powerlessness.
They get stuck in your body -- well actually more like, in your spirit or your
soul somewhere. Ever see a picture and it takes you back, reminds-you-of-a-time,
and you can instantly re-live the feelings you felt then, now -- well that's
a body memory, and they come in the form of Pictures, sounds, Smells, touches,
experiences, etc.
ALL this stuff needs to be resolved. Dealt with. Felt and Released. "processed"
some only takes acknowledgement and acceptance, and usually some compassion,
and it's pretty much gone. you could 'go there' if needed, but you don't
live there. the feelings are not right on the surface and ready to pop.
HOWEVER, there are other situations, events, beatings, leavings, dyings, molestings,
rapings, warings, that have HUGE feelings around them.
you know they're there… you and ONLY you knows they are there.
you live with them, day to day, in your heart, in your head.
the pictures, the sounds, the leaving the body, floating above, watching the
whole thing. it's all still in there.
THAT needs to be dealt with.
and THAT is not going to be easily done Alone.
(I believe it Could be done alone, by someone knowledgable enough in the techniques
and objectives, and was Really willing to let themselves Go There in a big
way.)
'Cuz that's what you gotta do. (the good news, is that's ALL you gotta do, too!)
You gotta Commit.
You gotta Go The Distance.
You gotta Run that extra Mile.
'cuz, I'm tellin' ya, fella, it's gonna Hurt. No BS.
I'm not pulling any punches because I'd rather you hear it from me and know
what to expect.
it's like going to war "expecting" it to be a vacation.
and you are going to war.
You are going to wage the most intense war ever seen
against your bonds.
against the Feelings left inside you by the people who hurt you.
(emotionally, not physically, please)
you are going to let yourself feel Angrier and more OutRaged than you could possibly imagine yourself being.
and yes, this is gonna HURT emotionally more than you ever imagined, too.
war is hell.
You know that negative beliefs, and unexpressed words, and unresolved emotions?
you need to THROW THEM OUT of your head and your heart.
you need to SCREAM THEM OUT of your soul, never to return.
you need to CAST THEM OUT, with God right by your side, all the way along.
you need to BLAST THEM OUT because you're THROUGH being a Victim, and Finished
Blaming others.
you need to THROW THEM OUT of your head and your heart.
you need to SCREAM THEM OUT of your soul, never to return.
you need to CAST THEM OUT, with God right by your side, all the way along.
you need to BLAST THEM OUT because you're THROUGH being a Victim, and Finished
Blaming others.
and
Even Though I am Afraid,
I'm Turning my Anger to Love,
my Sadness to Joy,
and my Depression into Personal Power!
NOW I CHOOSE TO FEEL ALIVE!!
You CAN do it.
You can even do it alone, if you must.
But you Must. and you Will. and I'd bet, you already Have. (either you let your body heal, consciously and actively, or it will break down faster. It's called Dis-ease. it's called a Cancer living in your body, eating you up. Your hurt, your resentment, your anger, your disgust, your violation, your spirit.
(do you have some more important to do than this work?
my job is to sell you your Feelings.
It's the greatest gift I can give anyone.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, feed him for life.
Give a man feeling, he'll love you for a day.
Teach a man to feel, give him a life.
Ok, I'm not only selling Feelings, and them
#1 Premise: Feelings are a good thing, not a bad thing.
Know 'em, allow 'em, listen to 'em, understand 'em, learn from 'em. Look for
and create nice ones, express and let go of yucky ones.
---
Does this mean that I need to go back and re-live my ENTIRE childhood? day
by day?
If that's what your body needs, yes. (few do)
What I'm talking about is that you SHUT-UP and LISTEN to your body.
sit quietly for a moment (yes, with some practice, it can be done.)
get in touch with your surroundings.
…
your breathing
…
your chest moving up and down
and ask your body some questions...
1 Who or what are you ANGRY at?
or
2 Who or what HURT you the most?
and listen quietly for the answer.
it should take about 1/10 of a second. you know.
you know who pissed you off. you know.
so your body knows.
Unexpressed Feelings get stored in the body until Released
---
(my period is hard to hit, so I use it less funny, it's changing my style due
to technical limitations. interesting component)
(I think I'm handling my adhd way much better. Focus is the key. If I can totally
fOcus on what I'm doing, and make sure I don't stop until it's sent or submitted,
I am doing well. I still get to jump subjects, and let my mind do what it does,
but I also HMS (handle my shit).
---
yep, Article Submission is my next adventure.
wanna join me.
I got a VA (you got yourself a laptop for christmas, I got myself a VA! I am
sooo excited… now we can get even MORE shit done!)
---
write audio intro!
12.10.05 sat, 06:00-08:36
---
a FEED of some of the 2GH conversations.
cool reading. real life drama, with wonderfully supportive answers.
---
Feeling and Healing your Life & Relationships! 12.09.05
If you aren't in touch with your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT in control
of your relationships or your life! To heal we must go inside -- deep inside
-- to the depths of our being. Past the pain, sadness, guilt, anger and depression
to that place where Love, Joy, Serenity, Passion, Sex and Fun all live. Click
in, read on. Love more, cry less, LIVE FREE > > >
---
This is NOT one of the seminars where you sit and take notes all weekend.
there will be some lecture so you can understand the very basic concepts we
are teaching.
and you will have time to take notes (hint: just write down your most extreme
Ah-Ha's, the rest will be provided in a binder that you get to keep)
We're about Feeling -- and part of Feeling is Feeling GOOD!
We laugh, a lot.
We dance, a lot.
We hug, a lot.
it's fun. it's Aliveness, it's freedom from the negativity
and the Shoulds
and the Gottas
we have, what I think, a really cool Balance between the two… Joking
around v. Serious work.
as I've said, we dive deep. way deep.
so it's crucial that we all give our 100% undivided, loving and accepting attention
to the matter.
For a time, you, and only you, and your pain, and your angers, matter.
to everyone in your visible world.
only you matter.
only your feelings matter.
only your pain matters.
the entire room will focus on you.
and you will not feel stared at, or on-stage, in any way
instead,
you will feel so Loved, and Accepted, and Cared For, and Cared About.
we create love.
we create joy.
we create family.
we create life.
so you can heal, in a warm, loving, safe environment.
(there's really nothing like that feeling of true Safety to be who you really,
Really are!)
---
google's giving me the best traffic
but Google Adwords are too expensive now.
use Yahoo!
mperelst@yahoo.com
start another group there.
for aware partiers.
---
I am creating a life here.
at doing it all at 28.8. ha. it can be done.
---
Magic Tricks
We've been selling magic over the Internet since 1999, and are one of the longest
established Internet magic dealers in the UK. We love what we do, and are proud
to retail some of the most innovative and highest quality magic items available,
and provide customer service that we believe is second to none.
MagicTricks.co.uk
(nice wording, straight-forward)
---
PTSD description could be about 2-3 sentences long.
what is it:
who's got it:
what are the symptoms:
how to resolve it:
how ND resolves it:
how Larry resolved it:
how to contact us for more info:
---
What is the New Directions Philosophy?
What is the Independent Living Philosophy?
The Independent Living Philosophy is a set of values and beliefs based on the
premise that seniors and people with disabilities are best equipped to direct
the course of their own lives and to direct the services and programs established
for their benefit. It promotes self advocacy, self determination, and the
achievement of the highest level of independence in the least restrictive
environment.
- Bob Roberts
---
They may not like me.
and that's ok.
- me and Michelle Every 12.6.05
---
Julie from Wells Fargo 707-688-4501c
consultant to Fortune 500, mainframe -> PCs, Microsoft / Cisco
project mgt.
Micro Age
IBM 1987-99
consulting, service side
---
1 How to Feel, How to Heal
2 Releasing the Horrors of War / PTSD
3 Living Free - Creating a Life of Love, Care and Passion!
- or -
1 How to Feel, How to Heal
2 Releasing the Pains of Childhood
3 Living Free - Creating a Life of Love, Care and Passion!
---
ad for ND
budda belly.
what if it's not full of tears.
what if it's full of Love.
what if it's full of wisdom
and growth
and a passion to help others
what if the extra chins are pent-up Smiles?
an obvious handicap, tho self-generated and sustained
it makes me more human, and real.
what if I were to relate to guys like me
middle-aged
overweight
employed - to - semi-successful
married or looking
dads, esp. of teens
dudes that're trying to learn a better way
know that feelings are the Key
know that man has his place, beside (and sometimes on top of!) his partner
but with, not against
attractive, not repulsive
gently, not rough or harsh
loving, not abusive
striving for safety and trust, not conquest and winning
soft when it's right, and hard when and how needed
let's kick some butt in this world.
together we can help each other heal and grow…
we connect different, but let's try it out.
2GetHelp4Dudes.yahoo.com
2GetHelp4Gals
shannon, wanna administer it?
John, Doc, Ken, AJ, Robin, Steve, Garrick, etc.
see 3 guys in pic of truck draggin' gas pump hose in Top 6 Women Drivers
you are as good as your Team.
my team is so-so, because of their leader.
the accountability cycle is just horrible
I still start things and don't finish them.
damn.
get organized, asshole.
so what do I do about
IntelliQuote
PLS
what if I market to men
---
12.03.05 6-9a
btw, the [LCC] means Love, Care & Concern
oh, just thought of this…
we need to teach people how to Be Nice.
they don't know.
they think it's wimpy.
it's not.
it's the strongest position you can possibly take.
be a POWERful as you want, and still Be Nice, pretty much all the time.
you can stay Open, and Real, and even semi-vulnerable (emotionally)
as long as you have your Anger tool, and your Personal Power tool, and your
I-can-still-kick-your-little-ass,-'cause-I-can-get-meaner-than-you tool.
we need to carry the tools in our Power Toolbox, but we do NOT have to weild them all the time.
Power Tools
Anger / Rage
Personal Power, Feeling Power
Fear / Courage
Healing Tools
Anger / Rage
Sadness
Depression
Punishing Tools
Shame
Guilt
"
Feel The Power!"
we need to Name our program.
on the website, rather than promoting ND, let's go for the whole program.
if people actually sign up for it, Then, and only Then, will we need the external coaching.
redesign the site to go for the entire Package.
the $699 deal.
build, and build, and announce ND, then announce the group program
make sign-up areas equal in weight
some show, even hide, the cheapest off
give 3 choices
The book.
The class.
The 6-month coaching program
we still need a group, on the phone.
same time, same phone number, Grizzy leads
promote it more. be there the first 2-3.
then you take it and run.
I like the Topic idea. I have a coach/friend who sends out a Notice via email the day to her clients, all her clients, the Topic for the week and the call-in information.
All will join 2GH, if not already
or you could have a private group.
we could even Charge for it… which would give it some real value and
credibility.
something nominal, like $10/mo., charged automatically to a credit card or
paypal account.
Live Support Group, lead by a Life Coach
people are starting to figure out what Life Coaching is.
and they want it.
but they can't afford it.
our challenge is to make it as low-priced as possible
making profits in many areas
a little at a time.
the numbers are available, once the product/ focus / marketing is right.
I predict that Coaching / Personal Growth becomes one of the TOP INDUSTRIES
in the next few years,
and continues to grow and blossom and pervade our daily lives (Yeehaa!) from
here on.
People ARE figuring out that they really don't know how to live a happy, healthy
life.
try as they might, they're STILL getting divorced.
and their kids are STILL rebelling and being distant.
and their relationships are STILL not working very well.
and they STILL don't feel as loved as they want and need to.
it's happenin'.
you watch.
mark my words (whatever that means, how do you mark a word… anyway, since I'm writing this down and saving it, I guess my words are officially marked)
People don't know what they feel.
they can't name it
they can't identify it
they can't unjumble them into good clean anger, fear, sadness, guilt, etc.
they just 'feel shitty' or not good or have the blues.
especially with Anger.
people do NOT want to admit that they are Angry. they don't. even the angry
ones.
people are very rarely HONEST about their anger. even with themselves.
who or what are you angry at? good clean question, what's the answer?
the problem is that no only do people Judge their Anger as bad and awful and
evil,
they are often NOT EVEN AWARE of their Anger.
they have been telling themselves that they are 'hurt' or 'sad' about something
for so long that they have NO CLUE how Angry they are, also.
take Ted. He was the best father ever. when is 4-year-old daughter _ _ got cancer, he LIVED in the hospital for over a year. Yep, LIVED there. 24x7 to be with her every moment until the end. He's mourned, he's cried, he could burst into tears in a split-second at the mention of her name. Guess what I told him? Ted, I think you're angry, too. I think you're very angry, even at her. WHAT?!? no way, I loved her, I could never be angry at her, I loved her with all my heart. right, I know, you're an incredible man, Ted and I very much respect what you did so she wouldn't ever have to be alone in that hospital. that was truly beautiful. And, I think you're angry. How could you not be? angry at the doctors who you feel messed up some of her diagnosis. angry that your daughter had to go. angry at God for taking her like that. check it out inside your heart, is there any anger at all in there? WHOOOOMMMMMM, here it comes > > > ! Ted was angry. Ted was very, very, very angry. and he let it out. all of it. until he collapsed onto the pillows and people held him and rocked him as he sobbed after.
and Ted felt better.
better than he'd felt in years, since before his daughter got sick.
in fact, better than that. He felt loved and appreciated, he had that HUGE
release and felt calm and serene afterwards.
he willing to 'move his pain' out of the way enough to actually say "Good-bye" to
his daughter, letting go of the tourturous pictures of her in his head.
you see, Ted's pain was "glued" into place by his unexpressed (and Denied) anger.
MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW THEY ANGRY THEY REALLY ARE!!
I've been doing this for awhile.
we have a joke that I have probably pissed off more people than most anyone
on the planet.
and they thanked me for it afterwards.
in fact, they hugged me, in tears and THANKed me with all their hearts for
it.
it's not that hard. there are no tricky maneuvers you need to learn.
there are just some basic information we can
the best thing we can do for you -- and it's THE thing, for most people --
is Love.
We will love you through it all.
We will encourage you.
We will hold you.
We will cry with you.
We will accept you.
We will acknowledge you.
We will listen to you.
we will Love you, to the best of our abilities, for the entire time we are
together.
and that's what it takes for many people to 'break-through' their emotional barriers and negative belief systems.
that's what it takes to get angry, I mean good and friggin' ANGRY, the first
time.
hopefully, after class, you can take these tools home with you, so you can
use them again in the future.
so, if you want support, and love, and guidance, come to ND. soon.
if you can find that support locally, DO THAT.
if you don't have a safe, loving support system for yourself, GET ONE. find
one. join one. create one.
or start by joining ours: http://Groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
I'm not speaking to a person.
I am teaching. kinda lecturing. like I would in class (if I had time).
---
TCOYF 12.02.05 6:24p
You won't HEAL what you won't FEEL!
If you aren't in touch with your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT in control
of your life! How can you feel Happy if you cannot Feel? To heal we must go
inside -- deep inside -- to the depths of our being. Past the pain, sadness,
guilt, anger and depression to that place where Love, Joy, Serenity, Passion,
Sex and Fun all live. Click in, read on. Love more, cry less, LIVE FREE > > >
---
THE FIRST GREAT DISCOVERY
The first great discovery that man made was that he could think. This was the
day when he rose from the ground and said, "I AM."
There are 3 Levels of Consciousness
To Me
Things, events, people happen To Me. I am powerless, I am not in control of
my body, my actions and my life. I am a victim.
By Me
"I AM" I Feel. I choose to Think!
I am responsible.
I am powerful.
I know what I feel and I know who I am.
I can make things happen.
I am Alive!
Through Me
I am life, and life is me.
I flow thru
There are 4 Steps to Learning
We know this to be true.
---
Feedblitz intro wording 12.02.05
Understand, accept and express your feelings, and it will change your life,
forever. Are your feelings out of control? Is your past still haunting you?
You don't have to be alone, or in pain, any longer. There are answers! Read
on...
---
Feelings run the show, they're not taught much at home or in schools, so you
must learn where you can.
Don't wait until your feelings are out of control.
---
Hey Julie:
I think we're figuring this out.
the trick to enrolling is not to go at 'em one at a time, it's just too painful
and slow that way.
we need organizations. folks who are already helping other folks.
we don't sell to them.
we sell that we are a great referral source.
mailer?
Christine's doing direct mail pieces, like the one attached, to mortuaries of all people.
how about for/to Chiropractors, Doctors, etc.
It's not a Physical ailment, is it?
It's really just an Emotional problem.
---
Ok, Al, it's starting to gel a bit… finally.
how about this to help people change their awareness AND their Environment.
Package the coaching program With the book.
The book is $179, a month, for 3 months.
They get personally coached thru a 3-month program give them a huge boost in
their EQ and turn their lives around.
Taking Control of Your Life personal coaching Program.
lead with the book.
Have the book teach the concepts that the Coaches will follow.
I know large networks of coaches who'd be happy to work for $40-50/hour, with the chance of retaining that client.
We sell the coaching,
It could even be a big-ticket sales in book stores and new retailers.
have dif. programs around the book
and the store get a commission on every program sold.
That's what T. Harv Eker did. Wrote the book and says that with the book you
get 2 free workshops ($1200 value).
then, at the "free" workshop he gives lots more life-changing content,
builds massive trust, and then sells his other $1k-10k programs.
package deal, all classes for $36k.
We're not going for that market. We're going for the market just under them. The "mass market", mid-scale, middle-class American, under 40-60, mostly women (talk to as a strong man to the woman he loves and the female side of the male will respond).
---
If we really want to help people make lasting changes in their lives, we have
to change both their
Teach them, guide them and show
I believe that one of our
Self-help books
---
I can't finish the article until I have a source, a deadline.
I spend a lot of time notifying others that I don't have time for something that I coulda been doing in the first place.
how do I learn about submitting articles.
I want short, to the point, step-by-step instructions, if you could point me
to some.
where do you suggest I start my search?
or would it be better to pay someone a $100 or so to submit the article for
me?
thanks. and thanks again for bugging me about it. my adhd flares up regularly!
and I have recently found my voice.
I am not going to choose a niche. I don't want the Market to drive me.
I want my Heart, and the hearts of those around me, to drive me.
as it has for years now.
I get to create such beauty, in the eyes and smiles of our successful students,
it's truly heart-warming to me and Paula alike.
what incredibly cool jobs we have.
heck, one of my main jobs, over the last 18 years, is people paid me to get
them Pissed Off!
how's that for a prostitutional position?
I had to act the bad guy, or the evil one, or the damned parent or grandparent.
and piss people off.
like they have never been pissed off before.
They scream at me.
They cuss at me.
They swing at me.
and they try to kick me.
and I let 'em.
I let 'em get it all out -- and that usually means going Deep.
Diving into a person's darkest Hatred and Rage
Because if you won't go there, you also cannot experience great Heights of
Joy and Love!
feelings are a Package deal.
You cannot just cut off 1 single feeling -- cut 1 off and they all go.
If you are tempering your Passion, your Joy and your Love, because you're afraid
of the depths of your Anger, Rage and Hatred, you are losing out on sooo much
of your life! Don't do that to yourself. Find a way. Get some help. Talk to
someone, if that doesn't go well, learn from it and talk to someone else. but
get this taken care of -- please.
You NEED TO KNOW what you Feel.
You NEED TO KNOW what you Believe.
You NEED TO KNOW who you Love.
You NEED TO KNOW who you will Trust, and who you will not.
---
This is Great Stuff -- thanks so much. will definitely use some of it.
---
clarity, that's what I want.
clarity of purpose.
clarity of direction.
clarity of influence.
clarity of resources.
a plan.
a mission.
but that would take the fun out of aimlessly flailing around in a semi-blur/semi-panic that keeps my head spinning, but awake.
---
I've been writing in this run-on, thought-after-thought ramble, stream of consciousness
thing. (see above). It is how my brain thinks.
how wonderful it is to see how our brain Thinks and then know what to do about it!
What if Assessments are the key?!?
Ask questions, derive answers, diagnose weaknesses, applaud specific Strengths
then Direct them on the way to go to find out more.
to learn about themselves.
to learn about how Feelings work
and how Communications work
and how to be Real
Get Real!
are you in too much Pain
or
you wear a Mask you can't take off
or
your down, and negative, and bitchy
and sick of it.
then let's talk.
Do you like your Life?
Are you having as much Fun as you want to?
Are you in Love as much as you want to be?
Do you Enjoy getting up each morning, ready to face each day with some Excitement
and some Joy?
Baby, there's hope!
we can help!
These are all just Emotional problems... that's all!
And Emotions are actually fairly Easy to deal with, once you understand and appreciate them.
no kidding.
tho they baffle many, especially Guys, they're really quite Simple and easy
to understand.
There are only a few BASIC, core Feelings.
Fear there are some forms of Personal growth the teach that there are only
2: Fear and Love. I think they're close.
Sadness
Guilt / Shame same family, both toxic and life-ruining. and totally, completely
OPTIONAL!
That's right ladies and gents,
ready for some of the Best news you'll ever hear??
All that guilt you've felt, all the Shame you've carried, it is all Optional! you can Take or Leave It.
it's Totally up to you and Totally within your Control!
ha. I just realized that. I've been hollarin' that "Guilt is Optional" for
years now, but it just hit me that Shame and Guilt are basically the same Feeling,
with a difference only in Judgment.
Guilt = I did a bad thing.
Shame = I am a bad person.
Punishing Guilt v. Productive Guilt (I wrote this elsewhere, prob on blog)
I am writing the book.
I am finding my voice. my personality.
I didn't have one before. I am building one now.
I like how it's progressing, and it's loads of fun to watch and enjoy.
thanks for ridin' with me.
I used to stand in a mall or any crowded place and watch people.
hoping to be one someday.
now I don't hope to be one,
I am one.
and all that watching of people
has allowed me to create one, out of nothing.
I just took pieces and blended them, and made up pieces
and took clues from characters or actors or cool people or fuck-ups or clueless
baffoons
how to, and how not to.
what works, and what doesn't
what feels good and what doesn't... and if it doesn't, do I want to change
my feelings about the situation or change the situation? I can choose because
I have all the power I need.
If I focus on something, I can kick it's ass. every time.
because I can manage my emotions.
I can make myself do things that others can't do.
How? by adjusting my emotions.
Only.
that's all I do different, that is so successful for me. and others.
I bring to you: "What Works!"
you can say what you will about the concepts, or the methodology, or the presentation of the whole thing, but one thing you CANNOT disagree about is the RESULTS!
You have to look at what these people are Saying -- Please.
Read a few.
This shit Works.
I don't always understand it, but I can tell you, it really works.
They are the most personally Successful people around.
They will say, I feel Successful.
I'm pretty Happy most of the time.
I gave them all an EQ test the other day.
they did Very well on it, esp. the long-timers.
I'm very proud of them, and proud of us for finding things that Work!
---
I did the EQ test. good feedback.
I like what it says and what it measures.
I like it's length, and I like that it's done.
(and I like how it ends)
---
I like my "reverse paragraph" format I created
the important stuff is Outdented
and the subsequent stuff about the subject is all Indented underneath.
---
TCOYF&E: How to add Passion, Love and Aliveness to your Life!
-----Original Message-----
From: Christine Helman [mailto:chelman@eyeqvc.com]
Sent: Monday, November 07, 2005 3:41 PM
To: Matt Perlestein (E-mail); Paula Perlestein (E-mail)
Subject: Really GOOD resource for information on EI in the Workplace.
Articles on Emotional Intelligence and the workplace.
THIS ONE IS REALLY GOOD!!: - - Peruse it clear to the bottom. . It mentions NLP to help with EI.....
http://www.businessballs.com/eq.htm
---
Outline
Certificates done by Jeannie - 'spiffy'
if there's a contradiction between what you Think and what you Feel, what
you Feel will invariably win out.
we make decisions logically only about what we are aware.
but if you don't know what you feel, your body will make decisions for you.
as feeling rise, your Rationalizations will actually change.
1. make it safe
how we think determines how we feel
feelings determine behaviour
proved that.
brain pictures.
what it means to you.
creates your feelings.
Macbeth: "nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
Meaning: right-brain (pictures - flashbacks and sounds) or left side (logical,
rational)
the way you think, in pictures, not words
this is how it works, how you work.
must have some left-brained understanding of what we're doing
but we must also deal with the right-brain
can't feel safe unless you understand.
Knowing what you feel, puts you at choice.
feelings
cognitive behavioral
can work on change in any corner.
behaviour mod
is what you're doing getting you what you want.
unless feelings change permanently, there will be no permanent change in the
behaviour
you get thru fear by doing what you are afraid to do.
change behaviour first, but succeeding changes your feelings.
sharing sets up vulnerability, risk-taking, safety -- makes ND work.
---
We need to Re-word my site.
people don't want to learn about:
Taking Control of Your Feelings
www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
many people come and read. some read a bunch.
but they don't sign up for an email course called
Taking Control of Your F&Es
---
The Power of Now
existing in what is.
---
Audio ideas
I interview Doc.
re: the book.
Preview re: ND.
---
I am a language teacher.
I teach people how to speak English… in a way that's Heard, and believed,
and expressive, and joyful.
I am a communications teacher.
I am a healer of emotional baggage and pain.
I am a guide to show how to do it different, better, more fun, more loving,
more successful.
I can teach you the Language of Love that permeates your ever communication
and conversation.
I can teach you Emotional Tools that you can use Forever.
this stuff doesn't effect you much. only
every second of every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of your
life.
that's all.
you control it or it controls you.. take your pick.
stay stupid, if you want to.
stay ignorant.
and in denial.
it's ok.
really.
you're the only one who knows.
fine.
it's your life. (we love our Choices!)
keep telling yourself "It's them."
"
They did it to me."
"
It's not my fault."
"
I am not to blame."
what do you learn from this?
you are telling yourself that you are weak and "You Can't Handle the Truth." (-
jack nicholson in "A Few Good Men")
but it's true. the purpose of the Denial is that we can't handle the truth.
we must push the blame off of us and on to someone else.
it couldn't have been me.
and,
"What we protect, we make weak."
- doc
Are we so weak that we can't stand to hear what we may have done wrong?
I like to hear it put gently and lovingly, if possible, but I can hear pretty
much anything about my behaviour and actions that isn't working.
Denial gives them the power.
Responsibility regains the power for yourself.
---
LIFE Goals
Happy: mostly excited, up and ready for your life to dish out whatever adventure
it has in store.
Successful: kickin'-butt and with lots of free and flexible time.
Family: connecting, laughing (a lot!), talking, listening, encouraging, growing,
together in love.
Feeling: fully aware, enveloped in passion, totally in control, even when you
Let Go and LIVE!
Love: love of your self, love for other people, loving the journey, loving
your life.
Sex: me and my babe making love and enjoying the beauty of each other's bodies.
We: me and my mates, forming an incredible bond of conscious attachment.
Us: the whole group of us, the conscious planet, who are ready to change the
world within as well as the world around us.
---
---
how about a write-in Q&A, Dear Abby thing?
some kind of Conversation.
example re Sex: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10087165/
---
Process for creating .PDFs
1. Write document in Word (or whatever)
2. use links like below, both Readable and Clickable:
Christine@2GetHelp.com
mailto:Christine@2GetHelp.com
3. Print to Acrobat Distiller
4. Save as same name in the proper MyDocs\~Web folder
5. opens in Adobe Acrobat: Tools -> Locate Web Addresses -> Create weblinks
from URLs in text
6. Close and Save changes.
7. Open WS_FTP_LE, to the proper site
8. Upload (FTP) the file
9. Save link somewhere.
Sunday 11.27.05 06:39
---
"
The First Time.."
notes.
---
wear a turtle neck for an internet picture.
tie means professional.
open collar means more personal
---
my voice is an interesting mix between parts of info, parts of myself (my heart).
I believe I am 'speaking to the people' better than ever before.
this style will definitely change over time, even from time to time, but that's
Me!
I believe it's a consistent, strong voice that people want to hear from / follow.
like Thomas, and CB.
another requirement, consistent notes to R&D team.
I create a team to hold me accountable for results.
---
I think sometimes people don't wanna believe.
they don't want to believe there's hope.
or they may be sooo afraid of their own feelings (fear, anger, depression)
that they will NOT go there, either consciously or unconsciously.
Target Market
we're going for those who are not there, and know they are not there.
and they wanna be there. bad.
the Consciously Incompetent
the Clueless. the Gripless. the Lifeless.
the Under-Educated. (too much book knowledge, not enough Life knowledge)
the Wimpy (and sick of it)
the Down-trodden (victims who are ready to stand up and change their life)
the Emotionally Trashed (which would include all divorcees and widows, all
single guys and most married guys)
the Energy Drained (and needing a big boost of encouragement and Love)
---
---
write an ad for ND
what do I say?
---
---
Being your own Project Manager
Me, Inc.
run my financial affairs like a business.
if I want to go play, I have to have the money.
if I don't have the money, I need to create it somehow.
attract it, borrow it (wisely), or even generate it
you don't need a job, only Income.
every center is a profit center that needs to be managed and run as such.
here's not What you need to do
but How to get yourself to do what you need to do.
Motivation School.
Success School.
Kick-Some-Butt School.
Get-Ahead School. (Get Some Head School?)
Relationship School.
Dating School.
Loving School.
Parenting School.
Connecting School.
Living School.
School of Life.
---
we're all about an Attitude.
a Belief
a Direction
a Life-Style
New Directions is a way of living that puts you in as much Control as you
can possibly Be in your life.
At ND, you will learn about the most important Tools, you'll ever have. Your
Heart.
TakingControlOfYourSelf ?
SelfProcessing.com
---
It's not just about knowing our Feelings and Emotions….
That's what they NEED, not what they Want.
---
people we market to don't even know they're in the market. they don't even
know there IS a market.
---
people who have been Slammed with too much feelings
divorcees, addicts, molestees, vets
who are sick of living in pain
---
hey LJ! yes, feelings are the only way to live. people don't know that. people
don't understand that.
i love how you write, too. the reader can tell Exactly what you are feeling, by your little expressions and ...'s and smilies. well done. you've developed a fine writing style that combines knowledge, wisdom and clarity with personality and feelings.
how about some blog entries for a week.
A day in the life of LJ. each day for 7 days.
what did you do.
how cool was it to be aware of your feelings
what you did with them
how you dealt with your kids and their feelings
... that kinda thing.
short, 2-3-4 paragraphs
pick a person (AJ, me, Michele, your choice) and talk TO that person, like
you were telling them the story.
I believe people need to see what it's like to live a Healthy lifestyle.
they've seen and experienced dysfunction... let's show 'em how it's done to
be functional.
---
need Friends and Family page / link
$398 = $199 x 2
need Student/Reviewer page / link
$398 = $299 + $99
---
how about Licensing ND to others?!?
http://www.webcontactpro.net/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=5325
---
be brave, stay the course, feel the feelings, do what it takes.
and don't give up. don't ever give up.
there is Light on the other side.
there is Hope for a brighter tomorrow.
there is Love at other end of the tunnel.
there is Joy and there is Freedom and there is no Guilt.
note: there is also pain, and fear, and anger and disappointment.
but you know you can deal with those.
you know how to deal with them, and you know they will pass.
you know they are "Only Feelings", so you know how to Change 'em.
you know that all you have to do is get rid of the Negative to regain the Positive.
you control them, they don't control you. any more.
---
You know what I need? know what I'm lacking? caress. hugs. physical touch.
knowing that, I can temper my energy, make the right relationships, create
what I need (and do it AT HOME, rather than having to have an affair to create
it)
Awareness is the first key to change.
Awareness is so much of the equation.
Sometimes, when you get good at it, awareness becomes very close to Resolution.
I become aware
I notice my feeling(s)
I allow them and appreciate them (sometimes this only takes a sec)
I decide if I want to Do anything about them.
I let go of them
I change the belief behind the feeling.
---
11.20.05 TCOYF sign-up offer
Want to Feel Better?
Get the "7 steps to Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions" via
email.
---
I used to live in MyApps, and only occassionally visit MyDocs.
now, I'm spending more and more time in MyDocs. cool.
"as long as it's moving in the right direction, I'm happy."
---
Victim à Persecutor à Victim Cycle
to prisoners
---
Audio on TCOYF, and all sites.
http://managingpersonalresources.com/AudioOffering.htm
interview with me.
or just me speaking, defining the subject matter.
I could speak slowly and intelligently, to try to impress you with my knowledge
and wisdom… but that's not me.
what I want to impress you wish is:
how well I know me.
the tools I have found to bring Brightness and Joy into my life.
the Successess I have had, and so many others have had…
Successes that YOU CAN HAVE!!
---
I am not selling a product nor a service.
I'm selling a Belief.
a Concept.
a Way of Life.
we have only created the products and services we offer TO HELP SHOW YOU how
to make the belief a Reality in your daily life!!
---
yes, now I will say it…
"we have found out how to Live, that works."
life 101 if you wish.
basic, down-to-earth,
---
I see someone crying off in the corner. they are honest about their pain. they
are ok with their honesty.
THAT's the kinda person I want to trust.
---
Services page (What we do / How I can Help)
types of services you offer.
---
so, how are you going to handle it in the most Powerful way you can think of?
it should be very short, and very complete, and very real.
actually, you might want to send him another email, with your newfound clarity,
and just explain to him what happened.
I, personally, have more respect for people who can handle their stuff with
me, eye-to-eye.
just like you're gonna do with your supervisor, and the other ladies, right?
eye-to-eye, "what's up?". I'm being treated differently, and I want
to know what's going on. please tell me.
I guarantee you know more about your Feelings, and probably THEIR feelings for that matter, then they ever will know.
remember, Michelle, equal to, or slightly above. that's where we want to hold ourselves
---------- (us) ________ (them)
or
________ (us) ________ (them)
the cool part is we get to allow equality and intimacy, or not.
if you're in, you're equal.
if not, you betta back down outta my face.
(see what I mean)
I've tried the opposite. so have you.
_________ (everyone else)
________ (me)
but once I became aware of that unconscious belief I had, yikes, I better
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
that was my commitment.
you will deal with the stuff inside you that hurts people, that allows you
to hurt people, that doesn't even know he's hurting people.
that's hurting me...
and that's gotta change.
that was my punishment.
when it changes, and you are totally sure that it's changed, then and only
then, will you let up and relax.
until then you will stay on your toes, you will learn WHATever it is you need
to learn.
no matter how painful.
no matter how much ego had to be removed.
no matter how honest I had to be with myself and others.
it had to be done.
my feelings were sooo deep, and sooo painful, and sooo many of them (!), and
the shame was so entrenched,
I believe I actually PUNISHED myself, by making myself go through all that.
(plus the minor fact that it feels soooooo much better inside your body once
you start Releasing this old crap..)
not even so much a Punishment, as a Sentence.
you will learn this stuff or die trying.
you will Stop Hurting People, from now on, period. you suck at it. figure out
how to stop it, now.
open your friggin' eyes, boy.
Get a grip.
You're an adult now and it's time to act like one.
your boyhood ignorance and naiveness isn't funny anymore -- People are getting
hurt and that's Not Ok.
and I am hurt.
and I am angry.
and I am very disappointed, and disillusioned.
that was my sentence.
oh, and Shame-based (the life killer of them all)
that's gonna take years to deal with, if it ever goes away
and let's see:
I'm ADHD.
I've been diagnosed with both narcolepsy and sleep apnea (an interesting combination,
I can tell you).
I have seasonal allergies to a few things, like grass
I've broken over 30 bones in my body, 10 in one fall.
I have a screw in my elbow, and wire in my jaw and a plate holding my head
together.
I've had 3 knee surgeries, all arthroscopic (thank goodness for technology)
and all successful.
therefore, I can still play Racquetball, which can be might tough on the knees,
but my don't bother me at all (yahooo!).
my only grip with them is that they don't really want to Bend much anymore...
a little stiff.
so I've learned to compensate. R-ball, as I call it, or just R, is a game of
inches, and very low play. the lower you can hit the ball, the better.
unfortunately, Low, and stiff Knees, don't go all that well together... see
what I mean. and bending over from the back is a sure way to skip your shot
so I found this cool way to Spread my stiff legs out further and that lowers
me to the ground. and gets me more into the game, and intensifies me.
playing this sport has been one of the biggest blessings, and learning experiences,
I can name.
thank you God for R, and for having a healthy enuf body to continue to play,
and competitively. (my ego thanks you for that).
it's not classy to lose all the time.
figure out how to Win.
figure out how to Succeed.
figure out how to Thrive and Survive!
figure out how to Kick Ass
figure out how to Take Care of yourself
figure out how to Get What you Want
figure out how to Build Loving Relationships
figure out how to Have and Keep Good Friends & Family
figure out how to Manage your Thoughts
figure out how to Open your Heart
figure out how to Mold your Body
you get the picture.
figure out how to Take Control of Your Life!
what else is there?
do you have something More Important to do than this? really?
maybe more urgent, but certainly not more important.
you gotta get some Attitude, girl friend. Don't be hanging your head around
there, stand tall, face them and talk.
---
In US, says: http://www.medicinemindandmeaning.com/
Depression (18.8 million people)
Panic Disorder (2.4 million people)
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (3.3 million people)
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (5.2 million people)
Social Phobia (5.3 million people)
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (4 million people)
Attention Deficit Disorder (8 million people)
Addictive Illness (18 million people)
Eating Disorder (11 million people)
---
clarity, that's what I want.
clarity of purpose.
clarity of direction.
clarity of influence.
clarity of resources.
a plan.
a mission.
but that would take the fun out of aimlessly flailing around in a semi-blur/semi-panic that keeps my head spinning, but awake.
---
I've been writing in this run-on, thought-after-thought ramble, stream of consciousness
thing. (see above). It is how my brain thinks.
how wonderful it is to see how our brain Thinks and then know what to do about it!
What if Assessments are the key?!?
Ask questions, derive answers, diagnose weaknesses, applaud specific Strengths
then Direct them on the way to go to find out more.
to learn about themselves.
to learn about how Feelings work
and how Communications work
and how to be Real
Get Real!
are you in too much Pain
or
you wear a Mask you can't take off
or
your down, and negative, and bitchy
and sick of it.
then let's talk.
Do you like your Life?
Are you having as much Fun as you want to?
Are you in Love as much as you want to be?
Do you Enjoy getting up each morning, ready to face each day with some Excitement
and some Joy?
Baby, there's hope!
we can help!
These are all just Emotional problems... that's all!
And Emotions are actually fairly Easy to deal with, once you understand and appreciate them.
no kidding.
tho they baffle many, especially Guys, they're really quite Simple and easy
to understand.
There are only a few BASIC, core Feelings.
Fear there are some forms of Personal growth the teach that there are only
2: Fear and Love. I think they're close.
Sadness
Guilt / Shame same family, both toxic and life-ruining. and totally, completely
OPTIONAL!
That's right ladies and gents,
ready for some of the Best news you'll ever hear??
All that guilt you've felt, all the Shame you've carried, it is all Optional! you can Take or Leave It.
it's Totally up to you and Totally within your Control!
ha. I just realized that. I've been hollarin' that "Guilt is Optional" for
years now, but it just hit me that Shame and Guilt are basically the same Feeling,
with a difference only in Judgment.
Guilt = I did a bad thing.
Shame = I am a bad person.
Punishing Guilt v. Productive Guilt (I wrote this elsewhere, prob on blog)
I am writing the book.
I am finding my voice. my personality.
I didn't have one before. I am building one now.
I like how it's progressing, and it's loads of fun to watch and enjoy.
thanks for ridin' with me.
I used to stand in a mall or any crowded place and watch people.
hoping to be one someday.
now I don't hope to be one,
I am one.
and all that watching of people
has allowed me to create one, out of nothing.
I just took pieces and blended them, and made up pieces
and took clues from characters or actors or cool people or fuck-ups or clueless
baffoons
how to, and how not to.
what works, and what doesn't
what feels good and what doesn't... and if it doesn't, do I want to change
my feelings about the situation or change the situation? I can choose because
I have all the power I need.
If I focus on something, I can kick it's ass. every time.
because I can manage my emotions.
I can make myself do things that others can't do.
How? by adjusting my emotions.
Only.
that's all I do different, that is so successful for me. and others.
I bring to you: "What Works!"
you can say what you will about the concepts, or the methodology, or the presentation of the whole thing, but one thing you CANNOT disagree about is the RESULTS!
You have to look at what these people are Saying -- Please.
Read a few.
This shit Works.
I don't always understand it, but I can tell you, it really works.
They are the most personally Successful people around.
They will say, I feel Successful.
I'm pretty Happy most of the time.
I gave them all an EQ test the other day.
they did Very well on it, esp. the long-timers.
I'm very proud of them, and proud of us for finding things that Work!
---
I did the EQ test. good feedback.
I like what it says and what it measures.
I like it's length, and I like that it's done.
(and I like how it ends)
---
I like my "reverse paragraph" format I created
the important stuff is Outdented
and the subsequent stuff about the subject is all Indented underneath.
---
TCOYF&E: How to add Passion, Love and Aliveness to your Life!
---
self-mastery = TCOYF&E + TCOYMind + TCOYBody
---
I'd like a whole series of books on these subjects
Life
Feelings & Emotions
Love & Relationships
Finances, Career & Income
Body
like the Idiot's Guides.
---
we'll stretch your mind, and your heart.
You'll learn by doing.
practical, hand-on training
give you a clear advantage.
you'll feel more confident
will give you a whole new perspective
an investment in yourself, and your future.
awakens your spirit
you owe yourself
harmony
self-mastery
self-worth
self-confidence
self-expression
self-esteem
remove mental blocks to success and happiness
wake up the __ inside you.
---
it's a roll-model thing, too.
trying to find ways to Be, that work.
people now understand the Be - Do - Have concept,
but they need to know ways to Be that work.
and are cool.
and sexy.
and fun.
the next generation will pay to be entertained, and moved, and shown
they'll respect the arts
and they'll know their Feelings.
TCOYF will be at the forefront of personal growth.
I am patient.
I am enjoying the journey.
if I got all I want quickly, what fun is that?
where's the adventure?
where's the sweat, and the push, and the challenge, and the Success!
setup Success camps.
show 'em how to Feel
show 'em how to Get Along.
show 'em how to Share, and Care. guy to guy, girl to guy and girl to girl.
show 'em how to be Powerful, and Sure, and Courageous.
show 'em how to shift Gears, how to Change your Energy to match the moment.
show 'em how to Survive.
people who work with me will be healthy. and they'll love their life.
that's what I'm good at... I love life, so I live it in a Feeling way,
and my excitement and enthusiasm for life and love and growth PUSHES me to
express myself.
I'm matt_the-motivator to 158 people as of 11.40.5.
wow. what a ride this has been.
I really am ok with where we are in our growth.
I say we're not 'there', but we're going in the right direction.
that's damned important.
in fact, that might be the key to it.
as long as you feel good about where you're Going, where you're Headed, who
you Are, and what you Feel,
you can make good, solid logical decisions WITH your Heart, not Against it.
when you work WITH your heart, and your mind, you can kick ass!
Love doesn't take much mind
but Healthy love does.
Work takes a lot of mind, but if you're heart's in it, that's yuck-o!
Courage takes mostly Heart, with some Mind right behind.
Patience takes almost Total Heart, as you Mind is DYING to push on.
Peace takes heart. Serenity takes heart and mind. Friendship takes both.
those are some important feeling that I don't want to live without.
It's not just about Knowing what you Feel
and even being able to Express what you Feel,
PEOPLE WANT RESULTS!
They wanna Know what they're gonna get.
be clear, upfront and powerful about it.
We can change the way you
You will reduce your Anger.
You will lesson your Sadness.
You will face some of your Fears.
and you will Succeed!
I'll make sure of it.
If you come to me and say "dude, I've got my feelings locked away somewhere
and I can't get to them, and it's bugging me."
I'll say, "I can help you Feel." (actually, first I'd probably say "ok.
I hear you." 'cause I am actually a pretty nice guy, all in all.)
If you cry on my shoulder and say, "I have lost the love of my life and
my sadness is killing me... I just can't shake it. I've cried enough."
I'd say "I have just the thing for you."
If you are in a depression so bad that you're sliting your wrists at night,
then you need to call "911".
you're in trouble.
but there's help.
there is
I want a safe place.
a community of people who are Nice.
who care.
openly and honestly.
a Commune of brotherly love.
that's right.
it doesn't matter what numbers we have, as long as they are >0.
look at what they are Saying about us.
this group is...
ND has given me...
my life.
---
Do a membership site, and have people pay $10 a month to be on your team.
it is by far the most numbers you can hope to achieve.
15 x 299 = 4500
if most pay, x15 isn't bad.
and advertise it.
Max of only 20 people per class.
---
I need someone to help with the Membership site
and
the success of the company is going to rest on my success in ENROLLING people
to do certain things within the company.
many will be voluntary, at least for now.
I only persue what I naturally flow with. i guess.
it's cool to watch to see what's important to me, and what drops away.
the Membership site is coming soon.
lonn, feel like jumping back in the game, but this time with a better idea of how it works.
Search-ability.
Connect-ability
Learn-ability
Love-ability
2GetHelp.com
Where people go 2GetHelp with their Lives.
hardly ever use adjectives or words that make you sound salesy and therefore
Fake.
Salesy = Fake. Enemy. Warning.
Honest = Safe, warm, a friend, on my team.
I think I come across as Salesy, because I write well, and slick, and make
it look nice, really quickly.
I bold what I need, i UpPeRcase whatever I wish, especially to make a Point.
I am sparing with the !'s, so when I do use one, and I definitely do, they
make a bigger statement Get it?!?
I like how I indent.
I guess people will jell with me, or they won't.
either way.
---
posted to NDW/Writings.htm 11.4.05 9:54pm
---
What if everything were a lesson?
not some things.
not every once in a while a lesson comes along.
I'm talking about EVERYthing.
you'd better pay attention.
you'd better be on your toes.
you'd better be open and willing to learn.
be prepared, and your chance will come.
---
my niche is every man.
my message is universal.
I am talking about Universal Processes that are true for all humans, as far
as I know. All Americans, for sure.
My niche is everybody who's hurting and wants to learn more.
everyone who's disappointed and wants more out of life.
everyone who's never felt Loved the way they'd love to feel.
everyone who's not willing to settle, doesn't do many Shoulds, and doesn't
want to conform.
I want to talk to people who want to Feeeel.
it doesn't mean you go around crying and/or screaming and/or acting depressed.
(although those are all important components to the I Feel Movement)
I'm talking about ALL the feelings that are there to feel.
Powerful
Exhilirated
Nurtured
Pampered
Orgasmic
Wasted
Gone
Amazed
Baffled
Alive.
your feelings are a package deal. You can't cut off some feelings with dampening
them all… it just doesn't work that way.
either you Feel or you Don't, pretty much.
but you can also feel More, and feel Deeper, and feel Better.
ignite your passion
delve to the depths of your sadness
experience all your fears, your Love, your pain and your Joy, all with equal
intensity and fervor.
When's the last time you took a real Risk, and it turned out AWESOME?
when's the last time you cried?
when's the last time you got to feel Proud of yourself, really PROUD of who
you are and what you're about?
when's the last time you felt total Clarity. Seeing, knowing, feeling, believing
that what you feel and what you know is so amazingly True, without a shadow
of a doubt?
These are all Feelings. just Feelings.
Learn about them. Experience them. Allow them. Enjoy them!
If you learn one thing from me, and only one, please remember this.
Your Feelings and Emotions are God-given GIFTS to you.
Please learn to understand them and enjoy them.
they are you and they are life.
it's like a wild animal.
we take it in, we love it,
but we gotta Tame it, too.
we gotta give it Boundaries, and Encouragement, and Limits
we are Training our animal instincts, our feelings and emotions, to Behave.
they can still be themselves, and they will be respected and loved.
but they must also Behave. and not hurt anyone. and play nice. and control
themselves.
our Feelings are our Wild Animal inside us
the one who hunts for food when necessary.
the one who will cuddle and love their family
the one who can be strong and lead the pack
the one who can tear you to pieces if you threaten their home or loved ones
We keep them tightly caged, because we fear what they will do if we were to
finally let them go free.
that's wise.
if they haven't been expressed for 20, 30, 50+ years, they might be backed
up a bit and come out with a LOT of force.
that's ok, just be ready for it.
do it in a Safe place.
a place where you are free to really, Really, REALLY Be Yourself.
as ANGRY and PiSSeD and RAGEFUL as you can imagine.
Sad = cry/hurt >>> anger/disappointment >>> more hurt >>> wash
away >>> Peace remains >>> empty spot >>> fill holes
with a Color
Anger = irritation >>> anger >>> hate >>> Rage >>> Punching, Hitting and Yelling (POWER!) >>> release >>> tears >>> release >>> serenity.
---
Problem: Parents were not equal
____ (husband)
____ (wife)
------------------------------------------
____ (parent)
____ (child)
------------------------------------------
Goal: be equal to, or slightly above
you others
----- ____
you're classy, without being cocky
you're good, without being being holy
you're the best, without putting others down
you can bend down and lift someone up, and even put them on your shoulders,
or you can kick someone's ass who thinks they're better than you and needs
a lesson.
if you have your Feelings, you have your Power!!
if you have your Feelings, you have your Courage!
if you have your Feelings, you can bring your Best Game.
if you have your Feelings, you can show up and kick ass.
after lunch, 11.04.05
---
TCOYF: You can't Heal what you can't Feel.
If you ain't in touch with your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT in control
of your life and you cannot heal! How can you feel Happy if you cannot Feel?
To heal you must go inside -- deep inside -- to the depths of your being. Past
the pain, sadness, guilt, anger and depression to that place where Love, Joy,
Serenity, Passion, Sex and Fun all live. Click in, read on. Love more. Cry
less. LIVE FREE > > >
Ready to Feel Better?
In a series of profound email lessons, we'll show you how to open your mind
and heal your heart as you discover the beauty, joy and wonder of your feelings
and emotions.
11.3.05 02:34
---
patrick, dude, please don't make this pain an Acceptable part of your life.
there are ways around it. we have too many tools available to us now that we
DON'T have to live in Pain anymore. get your ass back to class and let's get
working on this.
you've known for some time now that we have the keys -- please come use them.
--- here's another thing that NDers do… or don't do….
we don't live in Pain.
sure, stuff gets us down, and as I said, we still have Issues to resolve.
but we also know that whenever we get stuck, when we reach a plateau in our
growth, feel stagnant or down or depressed, they know a place where they can
fill up -- fill their hearts with Love and Joy and Connection and Fun. where
they Will be Accepted.
where they can make a difference.
where every body knows their name. and uses it in the gentlest, most encouraging way you can imagine.
imagine feeling TOTALLY Loved.
imagine OverFlowing with JOY and LIFE!
imagine feeling Accepted and A Part Of and Connected.
sometimes the media cut on and make fun of the Personal Growth Workshops and
therapy in general.
they've got a point… it can seem kinda strange when you explain in words
what we do in class. the hugs, the holding, the enthusiastic pats on the back.
talking to our inner child. holding hands. yelling at our parents.
easy targets to make fun of.
but, hey, have you ever felt a real Group Hug?? most people never have.
Have you? Have ever experienced a REAL group hug?
I have. lots of 'em. and guess what? there is NO FEELING LIKE IT in the World!
I guess I'm kinda addicted to 'em, as I can't seem to live without 'em at this
point.
sometime in your life, if you've never done a real personal growth workshop - especially a weekend or longer "intensive" like ND - you owe to yourself to experience it first hand.
I'm not selling ND. 'tis true that that is the Best possible way I can help you, personally. Come do it if you want to, if we can help, we'd love to have you -- but there are other ways -- but please GO DO SOMETHING to learn about your Feelings & Emotions! please.
There are lots of other workshops available. business is good in a lot of
camps.
Here are the ones I've been to, or people I've worked with:
www.HAI.org they don't mess much with the yucky feelings - they go right to
the Love part -- wow. try level 1 someday.
www.GlobalRelationshipCenters.com my first learnings, my first real Feelings,
where Paula and I met, where it all started for me / us.
Here are other ones I've heard good (or great) things about:
www.LifeSpring.com www.OptionGroup.com www.PSISeminars.com
like I said, please go do something!
easiest, quickest, cheapest way to get started right now.. Read Doc's book "Taking
Control of Your Life"
http://www.familycommcenter.org/About_FCC/Other_Services/Bookstore/bookstore.html
---
"
When we feel stuck, going nowhere -- even starting to slip backward -- we may
actually be backing up to get a running start."
- Dan Millman
---
since I took my keyboard apart the other day and cleaned it, the . key hasn't
been working properly and this has been interesting for me
to get it to work, I have to SLAM the . KEY harder….. whap, whap, whap.
it builds tension.
irritation.
tick (doesn't work) so Wham. (that works, but it's irritating and requires
more energy and constant problems).
pushes me to do an undercurrent of anger
if I remember, however, and think of it Before I hit the . key, I hit it harder.
in fact, I'm finding that I hit the keys harder in general
and my keyboard likes that.
and maybe it's what I need.
like a push to build some Attitude, and that Edge I need to be BIG.
that is what I want.
no fooling about it.
I want to talk to a LOT of people.
I am NOT Ok with talking to a few people.
I have a message that will not be denied.
I will not give up.
I am not developing it to fill a Demand.
The Need exists, they just don't Know that it Exists.
I can't find a Hive.
Help me find a Hive.
I will NOT be an Ambulance chaser.
oh, I think that's really holding me back.
I don't want the sick and mentally ill.
I want to work with people who are hurtin', but functional.
I want to talk to the walking wounded.
I want people who have jobs, but they're hurtin'.
and they know it.
and they want to Reach out.
there's a whole Reaching out thing.
they don't know:
c. who to reach out to
b. how to reach out (except for maybe therapy and medication)
c. That Reaching out is even an option.
d. in some cases, even that the concept of Reaching out even exists
it's not that the Demand isn't there,
they don't know that there's a Solution to what's bothering them.
some know that something's bothering them, but they are clueless that there
even IS a solution
they are not Looking for help with their problem
because they don't know that Help even Exists.
and some don't even know the Problem exists.
many don't know that they are angry or hurt, and that they could choose to
Not feel angry or hurt.
many are shut down and depressed.
but they don't Feel shut down, because they don't Feel… period.
they often find that they were shut down AFTER they experience what's it's
like to NOT be shut down for a moment.
I believe that people have NO IDEA how much cooler their lives would be if
they had their Feelings Toolbox ALIVE and WELL!!
I believe that people DON'T WANT TO ADMIT TO THEMSELVES that they are as unhappy
as they are.
I believe that people have no idea how VERY ANGRY they Really are.
some people know they're angry.
they don't know that there's Relief available.
they don't know that TAKING CONTROL of their Feelings really IS the key to
Happiness.
Happiness IS a Feeling.
How could you feel Happy if you don't Feel?!?
Feelings are the key.
Feelings are the Joy.
Feelings are LIFE!
You can't cut off one feeling at a time. They ALL Go.
it's a package deal.
you cannot feel your Joy and your Love and your TOTAL ALIVENESS.
if you are not willing (or know how) to feel your Anger and your Sadness and
your Fear.
of course Fear is scary.
by definition. the answer is in the question.
there are plenty of things that are ALL AFRAID of, not having enough, not being
enough, people leaving us, being alone, being attacked, ourselves.
no wait. We DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID of ourselves.
we can LEARN ABOUT ourselves.
and Enjoy ourselves.
and our Fears.
and our Angers.
and our Sadness
and our Guilt.
of course you're Afraid of your Anger.
we all are. Society doesn't know how to handle good clean Anger, so they squash
it.
and our parents taught us over and over that Anger is NOT OK, in any form.
THAT's the Difference between ND folks and non-ND folks.
We ENJOY and ENCOURAGE our feelings, they Avoid them like the plague!
THAT's the difference.
Having our Feelings be Ok works in so many ways
we not only don't avoid our feelings, that's about ALL WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT!
why? 'cause that's all that really Matters, that's why!
---
we need to talk to people who:
have a problem and know it and believe there is something they can do about
it and are actively doing something about it and are actively seeking personal
growth help
don't have a problem -- great
don't know you have a problem -- not sure it's my job to enlighten them, but
maybe
don't believe there's hope -- yikes. there is. there really is.
aren't doing something about it -- well, that's another part of the problem
(shame, low self-esteem, abandonment, ignorance)
aren't seeking personal growth help -- HELLO! We are the cheapest, fastest,
most effective, life-changing, love-creating, self-esteem building form of
mental health known to man!!
---
Ha. it finally came to me. just now.
I've been watching us long term NDers who are usually waaaaay Happier, often
more successful and certainly more ALIVE and FEELING than our counterparts
and I keep wondering,
What's the Difference between NDers and non-NDers?
What is it the one thing that ND teaches that is so Effective and so Important?
what is it that sets us apart?
what is it that works so well and has changed mine and so many other people's
lives over the last 18 years?
I mean, we're certainly not perfect.
we still hurt.
we still mess up. we still make mistakes. we still have unresolved Issues.
we still hurt and we still get hurt. we still fail and we succeed. we still
cry and we get angry.
and just this morning at 04:33 on 11.1.05, I realized what it is.
it's kinda subtle and kind slippery, but here goes…
the difference in long-time NDers is that while most people try to Avoid their Feelings in various ways,
NDers ENJOY AND APPRECIATE THEIR FEELINGS!
We know that Feelings are a GOOD thing, not a bad thing.
We know that our Feelings DEFINE us -- who we are, what we want, what we don't
want.
We know that if we Accept our Feelings, we are Accepting Ourselves -- and Oh,
self acceptance makes more difference in our daily life experience than anything
on the planet ! ! !
We embrace our feelings, and thus we can understand and accept the feelings
of others.
we are good listeners.
we are easy to get along with.
we make good employees and managers, leaders and followers
we can be and usually are straight-forward, up-front, and eye-to-eye Honest
… all just because we know what we Feel, who we are, and what our Intentions are.
Our Feelings are our Personality.
Our Love.
Our Passion.
Our Joy.
Our Feelings are our Lives.
what's more important than that?!?
Of course that's all what we want to talk about!
of course that's why we want our loved ones to come to class and learn what
we've learned.
of course, that why we "go there". often. as deep as we can. to come
back renewed and refreshed, sometimes NEVER HAVING TO GO THERE AGAIN.
we understand the Keys to Happiness.
we know that the simple act of Dealing directly with what's really, Really, REALLY PISSING US OFF, is the key to relieving our Anger and allowing more Peace.
we are wise to the fact that Talking about, experiencing and allowing our Fears is the fastest, simplest, most effective way to Lessen and Relieve our inner child's pain and our adult's vulnerabilities.
we understand the connection how our Personal Power, our Courage and our Self-Esteem are all directly based on our ability to Understand and Manage our feelings and emotions.
we know that we have Choices -- we always have choices -- sometimes lots more than many people believe we have -- in how we deal with situations and relationships.
...and we understand and appreciate the importance of People in our lives. people who are safe for us. people who love. people who can accept love and give love in a clean, honest, value-for-value relationship where everyone wins.
and we know how to Not Feel Alone, ever again. (once a graduate, always a friend http://Groups.msn.com/2GetHelp ).
yes, in this case there are subtle differences between "them" and "us". the "haves" vs. the "have nots". the "educated" vs. the "ignorant".
but these subtle, intangible differences can mean the difference between life and death, between divorce and marriage, between happiness and depression, between a life filled with joy and Love or a life torn by guilt and shame.
The tools are all free Please use them.
- Matt
after-thought: if you see a picture of an NDer and a non-NDer standing next to each other, they probably both look Ok and they're probably both smiling. but it's likely that the NDer will have just a bit more glint in their eye, a bit more Pride in their stance, a bit more openness and love in their eyes and a bit more Joy behind that smile.
that's why I keep buggin' you guys about coming back to class.
come Assist. it's still free. If you can't make it all weekend, we'll work
with you. just come. please.
everyone wins when you show up. please join us.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
Nov. 11-13, 2005 Fresno, CA
---
this is a coastal tourist town with hundreds of small lodgings but no mega-corp
hotels, 2 story or less. Most motels on the coast have only 25-50 rooms,
so be prepared to have your team stay in several locations. No one will be
very far away. There are also three State Parks in the area, all with showers
and hot water that can be reserved. Finally as a last resort, CDF operates
the Jackson State Forest, which is 5 miles from Fort Bragg next to a clean
beautiful river under the redwoods where I work everyday. It has 65 primitive
campsites (fire ring, outhouse, picnic table) all free. I reserved 15 large
campsites near each other at Wagon Camp for Skunk teams every year. Click
on link above, and look at the locator maps for directions.
http://www.mendocoastsoccer.org/listings.htm Tess A-S
---
How about these at the bottom of the letterhead?
"You can't Heal what you can't Feel!"
and
"
If you know what you feel, you'll know who you are and what you truly want."
---
6 Steps to Feeling and Healing
1. KNOW that you feel and Know what you feel.
2. ACCEPT all your body's feelings and emotions.
3. EXPRESS yourself in empowering, healthy ways.
4. RELEASE old, yucky feelings from your past.
5. REPLACE with positive, happy stuff.
6. REJOICE as you re-build your Life -- Your way!
updated 10.25.05:
---
"
Denial is a luxury that I can't afford."
- mcp
---
Doc, here's something I believe could help change the world...
Let's develop the concept of Self-Processing.
Take most any "issue", accept it, learn from it, feel it, release it and replace it.
and if you need some help in getting the big feelings out, call a friend for
a session of "Bullin' ".
when 2 are more are gathered in the name of emotional release and enlightenment,
God will be there, the universe will conspire to assist you and healing will
begin.
---
you're never really alone anyway.
ask your Higher Power for assistance, guidance, love, compassion, understanding,
...
---
we need a sexy name.
a nonsense name that is easy to remember but elicits the right feeling about
us.
Aviana, Alomda
Emotiana, emo-aitia
Ofallo, opus,
Unicorsary, Unobradly, Uzamba
I... (nope)
---
new entertainment "clubs"
get to know each other
take clothes off
admire and honor each other
have the most amazing sexual experiences
why not?
---
To be a therapeutic person, to ourselves!
1. How to be there for yourself and others.
2. How to connect with yourself and others
3. How to love yourself and others
how to Listen to ourselves, be there for yourself.
the ability to put our needs aside, just for a few minutes, to Totally be
there for others.
we can also do this for ourselves.
teach, teach, teach
write, write, write
---
Hey John: great post re: apologizing! I totally agree that we give up levels
of closeness and intimacy in exchange for safety and niceness and pleasantries.
the only thing I don't agree with is the "Don't apologize! Period!" was
NOT the point... only to not apologize for being you.
I carefully worded some of that post to things that we don't need to apologize
for... but there are some things we very Definitely need to apologize for,
quickly, honestly and sincerely.
I believe that some of the hardest, and most important, words we can ever say
are:
"
I love you" and
"
I'm sorry."
neither should ever be taken "lightly" as they are windows to our
soul.
imho, that saying "Love means never having to say you're sorry" is
pure Bunk. "Love means saying you're sorry pretty often." and meaning
it. and taking responsibility for our actions. and being involved and concerned
about others.
If we hurt someone, we apologize.
If we accidently step on someone's toes (emotionally or physically), we apologize.
If we 'assumed' something incorrectly, and it hurt someone, we apologize.
If we didn't keep our word, we apologize.
If we realize that we let our childhood Issues guide us, rather than our true,
grounded self, we apologize.
Yes, 'tis true that we are responsible for our feelings, and we cannot cause
someone else to hurt (except physically), but in order to build Trust and safety
and togetherness and closeness, we GOTTA apologize.
the key is Balance (as usual). and the lesson here is "What is my problem,
and what is not my problem?"
any other comments anyone? Shannon and Grizzy, you guys used to apologize for
all kinda things that weren't yours to apologize for... me, too. anyone else?
- Matt
10.22.05
---
Desires of the body include life itself -- air, health, water, food, clothing,
shelter, emotions, sexual pleasure, rest and exercise. Desires of the mind
include succeeding in life -- status, accomplishments, self-esteem, success,
control, power, self-righteousness, aesthetic (visual) pleasure, knowledge,
marriage and family.
- Sabrina
---
Abundance, to me, is about having Plenty.
Plenty of time.
Plenty of money.
Plenty of roots.
Plenty of friends.
Plenty of love.
Plenty of passion.
the areas where I have Plenty, are quite wonderful. Abundance, to me, is about
having Plenty in ALL areas of life.
thanks, Catherine.
---
Accepting your Feelings = Accepting your Self!
---
there are specific self-esteem issues.
may feel great about your mental skills, academically
while feeling dirty and gross, emotio-physically
---
it's not that ND folks are always Nice and loving, we're not.
it's not even ND folks are always clear, and open, and doing things in the
healthiest ways.
it's that ND folks are AWARE of it all.
We know when we're being angry.
We know when we're being an ass.
We know when we're being codependant (or other misgiving)
but we are AWARE of it.. and therefore we can do it different when we want
to
THAT'S being In Control of your life...
living in the moment, alive alert and aware, knowing what's right and wrong
and knowing ourselves.
---
Awareness -> Choices -> Freedom
I know what I feel I know what I could feel I am free to choose my reality.
---
most help passively. they agree, tho quietly and unobtrusively, and differing
levels of commitment.
but there are a few, a chosen very few, who will be Active supporters.
I didn't follow anyone… but bits and pieces of lots of people / examples.
I look for energy, not so much content.
If I like your energy, I can shift my focus to actually be Interested in your
content.
I may learn that, and only that, from them. and will be forever in their debt.
like coach t, or MP, or andrea, or Marion, or Dave B.
lisa and andy and ramon (wow, we were similar, like Dave Lyman and I -- ouch
;-)
mean well, but come across all wrong.
---
ND's Statement of Direction
I am through being a Victim;
and finished Blaming others, and myself.
NOW WHAT?!?
Even though I am Afraid,
I am turning my Anger to Love,
my Sadness to Joy, and
my Depression to Personal Power.
Now I Choose to Feel ALIVE!!
Spinoza the Bear says,
"
You are all you need to be."
- Matt
blaming others causes anger and guilt
blaming yourself breeds shame
sent 10.17.05 to all NDers for 2nd round of feedback.
---
I've learned to deal with it pretty well, becoming totally absorbed in 1 subject
at a time, then come back if needed to finish
---
You BAAAAD! Way to go, Shannon.
let's keep that in a file of Dating stuff.
that's one of the 2GetHelp concepts I want to Teach about.
how to Date.
who to date
who not to date
how to have the tough conversations
as Dr. Phil says, "how to ask the hard questions".
what to ask
that's what people want to know, and need to know.
how to live (in effect)
when we can successfully write this stuff down, in a way that people can easily
grasp the concepts and the importance, we're gonna change the world.
we are so on the cutting edge of this stuff, you watch.
Grizzy and Shannon, if you could write down some about your Relationship, that
would be awesome.
you guys TOTALLY, 100%, out-of-love, support each other thru thick and thin.
it's so cool to watch you two together.
so how do you to that?
what do you think about, or feel, when you picture each other?
when one of you is down, how do you support them?
when one's going thru a seriously painful growth spurt, how do you Be There
for her?
when you both feel trashed, what's your attitude?
Love first, right?
People don't know HOW to do these simple life skills.
it's not their fault, they (we) were never taught.
so, that's our job. to teach them. to show them. to do what we're doing on
the boards.
and you two are a big part of that positive energy that abounds there!
how's it going with Silent Storm now?
How was it on the phone with her last Wednesday?
this seems like simple stuff we're doing, but I can tell you, we are doing
things that people would LOVE to be able to do, but can't... 'cause they don't
know how, and worse, they've never seen it done, so they don't even know that
the concept Exists!
We KNOW we are loved, by each other.
We Know we are ok, at least with somebody.
We feel OK that we Feel, and therefore Ok with who we are.
We go for MORE Feeling, not Less.
(how dumb is it to "numb your feelings", when they're the Funnest,
most Passionate, most Loving thing in our Lives?!?)
numbing ain't the answer... Dealing directly with them, is. Know what you feel
and You'll know who you are and You'll know What You Want!"
We are to be the positive Role Model that people need. as much or more than
Teaching, we need to Show them how it's done. The big risk for us to be willing
to do it Publicly. and I think we are doing just that. both of you are wonderfully
Open about your issues. I try to be, too. you can ask me anything about any
issues... be happy (or sad or angry, or whatever my body currently feels about
that issue) to talk to you about each and every one, if you think that might
help you.
being willing to be open, in public, is huge.
not names and addresses kinda open,
but open with our Issues, even the ones we're not too proud of.
thanks you guys. your relationship and your growth has inspired Me to show
others how it Could be to be a "good friend".
and again, way to go on your date, Shannon. beautifully handled in every area.
- Matt 10.17.05
---
Deep Feelings
that's what we do.
Yes, that IS our niche.
We're not ambulance chasers… we're offering help to the Really Needy.
the hard cases.
If you're really Angry, and you know it, and you're ready to get off your ass
and DO SOMETHING about it, then Let's Talk.
but not until then.
If you think that you were abused, molested, beaten, abandoned, rejected, raped
or whatever, and you are NOT ANGRY about it, then you are in for a rude awakening
some day.
I'd say that list covers like 3/4 of the US Population, wouldn't you?
We have been hurt, people.
We have been abused.
We have been abandonded.
We have been used.
We are Angry, and we don't know what to do about it!
I will spare you the actual numbers that I've read, because they're just estimates,
because there's no way anyone can know what happens behind closed doors.
The anger is there, trust me, it's there. Until you've consciously gone back
and dealt Directly with the traumatic emotional episodes from your childhood
(or adulthood), they Will come back to haunt you. If fact, if you are really
honest with yourself, you know they already have.
If you are aware that you have either Emotional Issues, or unresolved Feelings
from your childhood, we can help.
There are a number of ways 2GetHelp with your Feelings & Emotions
The baddest, fastest, most effective start to it all is our intensive weekend
workshop in California. www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
It's $299 for the weekend, and you probably have to travel to Fresno, but let
me tell you, you will never be the same again.
You will experience your Feelings & Emotions
You will "find" a whole other side to you… a deeper, richer,
passionate side to you.
and you will like what you see.
ND people like themselves.
I've been trying to see what it is that makes us different. We still feel,
and we still get stuck, and we still have Issues, so what makes us different
than everybody else? what
We feel good about Ourselves!
We Accept out Feelings, therefore we accept Ourselves -- period.
If you're Ok with your body's Feelings and Emotions, you're Ok with YOU!
Your Feelings ARE You.
They show you what you Love.
They let you know what you Hate.
Feelings = Life!
check this out…
So many Katrina victims were left with what? NOTHING. Absolutely, 100% Nothing
but the clothes they were wearing. no possessions (can you imagine?)
(write article called "Imagine No Possessions")
---
"
Imagine No Possessions"
So many Katrina victims were left with what? NOTHING. Absolutely, 100% Nothing
but the close they were wearing.
no possessions (can you imagine? I wonder if you can)
but were they?
What else did they carry with them, no matter where they went?
Their Spirit.
Their Feelings.
Their Values.
Their Personality.
Their Memories.
Their Beliefs.
Their Morals.
Their Soul.
and
their survival skills and tactics.
their sense of Personal Power
their Love and their loss
and their sadness and their Joy
and that they CAN Make it through, no matter what.
and their Wits.
and their Judgements.
and their
I'm way more concerned about Who you Are, then what you do.
---
My daughter is very aware of her feelings.
she is independent and powerful and full of life
and many find her a joy to be around.
if she had to Survive somewhere, somehow,
she'll be scared, but she'll be aware of being scared. and able to manage it.
she knows how to use her Anger to cover her Fears.
she know how to push herself when needed.
she knows how to deal with people, whether nicely or harshly, to make sure
she gets what she needs.
and much of that, I believe, is because we talk about Feelings in our house.
she knows her feelings are ok, so she knows that SHE is Ok.
please deal with your own feelings, so you can help your children deal with
theirs.
How can you help your angry teenager, when your own Anger scares the hell out
of you?
How can you expect your child to feel really Loved and Cared for, if you've
never felt it in your life?
How can you get across to others the depth of the feeling you have for them,
when you're afraid of your own feelings?
Learn to use your Feelings as a Tool, even a Weapon, when needed.
(hint, you may find yourself in situations where they are your greatest, and
sometimes your only, weapon)
---
take your weirdest foibles, protections, masks, and make them into Tools to
use. that you're Already good at using.
let's see what they are, find their uses (which there will be some Important
ones) and Spin It, so that rather than an "issue" or a "weakness",
it becomes a Tool, a potential Weapon, to be learned about, respected and trusted.
figure out your Goals and Intentions, and what's most important to you, and
go there. make it happen. don't let anything, or anybody, stop you!
life is hard. no shit.
do it wisely, get some help!
you may think you're too Baaad for this touchy-feely stuff, but guess what
buster, guess Who's In Control of your life? You or your Feelings?
Is your Anger getting the best of you?
Are you sick of trying Not to be Angry?
are you afraid of your own anger?
so you're angry, so what? Join the club, dude.
we're all angry.
and frankly, one of my jobs is to help people who think they're NOT angry, find out that they really ARE Angry… because WE CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT OUR ANGER! If you really are not that angry, that's fine, but you'd better learn how to Manufacture some Anger… or something… we need it.
---
Formal Training on Teamwork
…
group sizes of 2 and 3 experienced little or no benefit from the team training
I provided. HOWEVER, the teams of 4 that received my training did EXCEPTIONALLY
better than the groups of 4 that received no training.
---
Our model, by New Directions Program
http://www.newdirectionsprogram.com/ourmodel.html
our program will need to do more Assessments, in different Phases of healing
Awareness
Acceptance
Identification
Expression
Release
Replace
Rejoice
---
Physiological arousal accompanies all emotion.
http://www.alleydog.com/quizzes/motemotquiz_2.asp
---
according to both James and Lange (the two actually proposed the same theory
at approximately the same time which lead to the name, James-Lange theory of
emotion), emotion occurs because our bodies automatically respond to environmental
stimuli (like the presence of a bear). We then interpret this physical response
into some subjective emotion. So, something in the environment occurs, our
bodies automatically respond to it, and then we perceive some emotion in response
to the physical behaviors.
so some of our emotions are Innate, and some are learned.
while the rest are "created", or Learned based on what we thought
the meaning of the situation was/is. (like feeling angry for an injustice or
abandonment)
a few are primal, natural, automatic, autonomic (like fear of loud noises or
high places, the only 2, according to Doc, that babies are born with)
---
Lepper, Greene, and Nisbett (1973) assigned children who enjoy drawing pictures
to either draw for fun or draw for reward groups. What they found was that
children asked to draw for reward began considering drawing as work instead
of play that was enjoyable. Originally, drawing was intrinsically motivating
to all the children (the drew because they found it fun). But since they were
now getting rewarded for drawing, the children in the reward group eventually
found drawing extrinsically motivating since they were getting something in
return for drawing and you get rewarded for work, not play.
http://www.alleydog.com/quizzes//motemot-exp.html
that means that Paying someone who at first Volunteered, is probably a bad
idea.
---
A large part of emotional suffering comes from our inability to see clearly
into the nature of our internal conflicts and the nature or reason we are in
conflict with others.
in other words:
We must know what we are in control of, and what we are not.
We must know what IS our problem, and what is NOT our problem.
We must be in control of our Shoulds and our Belief systems.
We must be AWARE of what we feel and be able to manage it.
---
Areas of concern, per www.4Therapynet.com
Sometimes the signs that can alert you to problems can be hard to recognize
because your behavior has become so familiar. Our easy-to-take, confidential
self assessment tests have been designed to help you become more aware of any
habits, attitudes or symptoms that might indicate the presence of certain conditions.
Are my spending habits out of control?
Do I drink too much?
Do I have symptoms of an eating disorder?
How do I handle social situations?
How healthy is my attachment to my partner?
How well do I balance my work and personal life?
Is anxiety a concern?
Is it depression?
What's my stress level?
---
Take Control of Your Feelings and Emotions
Life-Changing Personal Coaching Program
by the end of this program, you will be able to:
Know what you feel, and Accept your feelings and your self
Feel and release your negative feelings, while you encourage and create more
positive ones.
Manage your feelings and emotions in productive, healthy, loving ways.
The 90-day Growth and Awareness Program
Taking Control of Your Feelings: Identification and Awareness
Assessment
Doc's Book: "Taking Control of Your Life"
Private Coaching call: intro and direction
CIS Backgrounder
ND Class Weekend: Nov. 11
Now What?!?: Feeling and Healing
3 private Coaching calls
Weekly support group calls - on Wednesday nights
Weekly Huge group meeting
ND Class Weekend - review Feb. 3
Follow-up private Coaching call
Once a graduate, always a friend
Ongoing support and follow-up
Learning how to reach-out and "be there" for others
Opportunities to make new Friends that are on a similar path
Assisting at ND: May 5 and beyond
Get yourself, or a family member, a wonderful christmas present this year!
about: $675 (with money-back gaurentee)
---
taking apart our painful childhood, healing the scars and cuts, and replacing
it with power, love and joy for a wonderful adulthood.
---
Have the team be a team, even when the leaders aren't there.
now That's a team!
---
What unique ability will you be bringing to the table?
As lead instructor for the life-changing breakthrough New Directions workshops
for almost 20 years, I bring a unique blend of Realness, Openness, Power and
Humour to the table. I have done a LOT of work in these classes, and I've worked
personally, face-to-face and eye-to-eye with a LOT of people, so I understand
feelings and emotions better than most.
I am compassionate, supportive, kind and loving.
but I am also aware of my power, my anger, my defenses and my weapons (and
know how to use them, and as importantly, when not to use them.)
I am big, and strong, and I can probably kick your ass.
I play racquetball like a maniac… not out of control, but I can push
myself to my 100% when needed and my body is fast enough and practiced enough
to beat most challengers.
---
3 Indian Gods
A god of creation
A god of destroying
A god of maintaining
And in our lives we need to be the President of all 3
- MP
---
home-based business owners
my market is people who Want it, not messing around.
www.MultipleStreamsTeam.com
www.AndreaRecommends.com
Candy@msoci.com
---
Like any good relationship, our relationship with ourselves needs boundaries
and rules.
Rule 1 - I am Responsible.
--------------------------
I take full ownership, control and responsibility for MYSELF.
My body, my behaviours, my spirit, my words, my actions -- all of it.
If it came from me, even unconsciously, I am responsible.
I feel I can adequately Protect myself and my family,
I am mature and act like a responsible Adult,
and I can still allow the Child in me to laugh and play, in awe at the wonder
of it all.
Rule 2 - My body is Mine!
-------------------------
No body touches me nor 'possess' any part of my spirit, brain, heart or any
other part of me, without my express permission.
I don't do other people's Shoulds unless I agree with them.
I don't carry other people's voices in my head.
I don't run my life to please, or irritate, anyone else.
I am not the victim in any area of my life. (but if I am, let me know gently
and I'll endeavor to change it.)
I love who I love and I think what is right for me and I act and feel accordingly.
no one stays in my heart, or my mind, without my permission.
Rule 3 - I will Love first and always.
---------------------------------------
Love because it feels good. Love because you want to. Love because there is
no other way to live.
If Love underlies everything you say and do, you'll never feel alone again!
Love connects us.
Love creates us.
Love IS us.
and we are Love.
(my mom called us the "Huggy Bunch" today... I like it)
Rule 4 - I will be Nice. And keep being Nice, until it's time to Not be nice.
- Patrick Swayze as Dalton in "Roadhouse"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's Ok to be a nice guy, as long as we know how to fight, too. Fight only
when absolutely necessary. Be slow to anger, but when enough's enough, be ready
to attack with fury and purpose from the depths of your core. Fear no one,
as you can access emotions and power within your soul so deep, and so powerful,
mountains tremble (whoa!). You get my meaning. Be nice. but have your Anger
tool right by your side, should you ever need to wield it.
Rule 5 - I will Shut Up and Listen
---------------------------
Wanna connect with people? Really hear and understand and enjoy other people?
Try LISTENING to them.
Yes, you need to express yourself, but rather than talking without learning,
try listening, deeply, to the people around you.
Guess what they are feeling, and help them feel even better.
Assume they're scared, too.
Assume they actually do want to be close friends, but they've been burned before
and they're wary.
You reach out first. Ready for my opening line... with an outstretched hand
I smile and say, "Hi, my name is Matt.". works every time.
Be safe, and loving, and accepting, and kind. Surprise 'em, by not judging
'em. Try a compliment... it worth gold in setting the tone of your relationship.
assume you're friends now that you've met.
Trust, and verify. You can 'afford' to trust first because you know you have
the skills to Remove that trust quick, fast and in a hurry, if needed. You
trust wisely, with eyes wide open, knowing you are at the controls.
You can even be truly honest with people, telling people things that their
best friends wouldn't tell them, because when it comes
from love, most anything can be heard and understood. Come from love.
always. even if you have to fight, do it out of Love of freedom,
democracy and the American way.
Rule 6 - Stay Open to Learning.
-------------------------------
watch Kids, especially. If you want to really understand adults better, watch
kids. They're fascinating. They're simpler than we are, so it's easier to track
what's happening, and as they grow, you can see the protections and avoidances
and nuances of each person develop and mature as they grow. (most times, I'd
rather hang around with kids than adults...
that's why I feel so blessed to have my daughter and 4 grandkiddos right here
in our little town. We get to have a slumber party the next 3 nights, so I'm
excited they're coming over! ice cream and sleeping bags and kid movies and
laughter and giggling and tickling and Aliveness.)
a wonderful way to combat a bully or naysayer is to agree with them... it takes
all the fun out of the criticism. If they say you're controlling, they're probably
right. If they tell you that your energy more repels than attracts, they're
probably right. If they you are hard to get close to, they're probably right.
Listen. Learn. Let go quickly and gently. Float. Glide. Flow. Enjoy. Relax.
Find Good. Live free.
Rule 7 - Keep the big picture in mind.
--------------------------------------
If you think things can't get worse, you are so wrong.
Things can Always get worse, a lot worse. We have it pretty damned good in
the US. So even when you get down, know that we Americans will always learn,
grow and perservere.
Know that they are feelings, and only feelings, no matter how bad they may
seem in the present, if allowed and dealt with directly, they will pass.
Feelings are a good thing, not a bad thing.
---
The funest thing I do: play racquetball
The thing I do that makes me learn the most about myself: writing
The way I feel the most loved and appreciated: hanging out with the grandkiddos
When I feel the most 'on purpose': teaching and loving
---
I hate to get real heavy on you in an email, but I'm having trouble saying
it to you in person, and I do need to say it.
Rachel, I feel like you are actively pushing me away.
You are short with me.
You use a nasty, impatient, judgemental voice with me, much of the time.
and here's the worst part, for me.
you are an amazingly aware, brilliant, beautiful young lady
I believe that you know darned well that you hurt my feelings, often.
heck, I've been hanging up on you when you talk harshly to you, so I'm sure
you noticed.
but you know it, and It Seems to be OK with you.
you're aware enough to know that it's my problem, not yours.
and that's true.
it is my problem.
you have some need to push me away.
and intense need for independence and control over your life.
no problem.
I've always strived to give you as much room as you've needed to really spread
your wings.
there have been 2 life decisions that you did Not have control over.
moving to Fort Bragg
moving out in the country, to McDonnell Lane
both true.
I think you're still very angry about both.
You and mom have a cool relationship lately. I'm so glad that you have chosen to love and respect her, even tho both of the above decisions were hers.
I think you're mad at me because I didn't stand up to Mom, and let her run
over me.
I think you lost some respect for me, knowing I'm kind of a wimp.
I think you've judged me that I have 'feelings' when you don't (or didn't).
but I also believe you've been trying them on a little recently and you're
starting to like them.
the thing about feelings is that they're a package deal.
if you cut off of one (for example, you decide never to cry or feel sad), they
all get cut off, and blocked and pent up.
That's one of the reasons that ND works so well.
We are awesome at getting to people's blocked up, cut off, pent up feelings
and helping them POW! release them into the atmosphere! It's so cool to watch,
and be a part of. way much fun.
Feelings will not be denied.
You may think you're stuffing or avoiding or ignoring your feelings, but I've
got news for you, they will not be denied.
do you smoke, or drink, or eat too much?
Guess what that means?
do you have trouble finding or holding on to relationships?
I guarentee that unresolved feelings are getting in your way, unconsciously.
are you as Happy as you want to be?
Happiness is a "natural state" that would exist, in BIG amounts,
given the chance.
Once we move our negative feelings and emotions out of the way, out of our
bodies, Happiness, and Joy, and Peace will exist AUTOMATICALLY, as that is
how we were designed. God is good. When we can touch our essence, even a little
pinkey finger touch, we are constantly Amazed at the depth and breadth and
ability to Love we have at our center.
Experience your Feelings, there is NOTHING like it in the world. It IS your world. All the things that happen around us, they are "the World". But they are the outside world, so of which we can control, most of which we can't. Now, the Inside world -- our feelings, our beliefs, our memories, our issues, our personality, our survival skills -- those are all inside us, they ARE us and they are Our World. And here's the really GREAT NEWS -- we have WAY MUCH MORE CONTROL of our innerds that we ever imagined possible!
Once you learn and see and experience and Feel what POSSIBLE inside you, you will never return to your clueless state on unawareness. Once you know what you feel, you can never Unknow it. When your body feels angry, you'll know it. When you're afraid, you'll sense it faster and more accurately (and probably Deeper, too).
ONCE YOU IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS, you can DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEM!
but not until then.
We cannot make wise, mature, logical decisions on stuff that we are NOT aware
of! duh.
If you don't know what you feel, you cannot control and manage your feelings… they
control and manage you. period.
you'll find yourself constantly doing things to soothe or placate or avoid
your feelings… or you always opt for the 'comfortable' path.
have you ever Moved to another city or state so you don't have to "deal
with" somebody?
have you ever NOT gone somewhere because you're too afraid of what others might
think of you?
have you ever NOT stood up to somebody (emotionally speaking) because you couldn't
handle the possibility of Conflict or Angry words?
THAT is letting your feelings control you.
Once you are in control -- you accept That you feel, you know What you are feeling, and you probably know Why you are feeling it -- you can make WAY MUCH better decisions about yourself and your life.
come to class, if nothing else, for the Experience of it all.
watching people Transform, completely, before your eyes, is something you just
gotta see.
In a sea of love, care and concern that strengthens and honors and celebrates
each of us to our core.
Ever seen someone on Dr. Phil really "Get it"? We do that all the time, over and over, all weekend! It's so cool to watch and to be there with. The healing energy pervades the room, people totally let down their barriers and are 100% there for one another.
Watch life happen. Watch people heal emotional blocks and "issues" that
have been eating them up inside for 10, 20, 30+ years. Right in front of you.
Right with you.
And you helped make it happen. Your acceptance, your love, your support, your
hugs.
From that day forward, you will have a picture, a feeling, an experience of what it's like to truly Connect, to be with, to belong, to be We, to coexist, to be part of the Team.
Even tho' we will be together for only a few days, you will see a side of yourself that will forever change the way you look at people, at your family, at your friends, at your enemies, at the world.---
---
no one stays in my heart, or my mind, without my permission.
---
Men taught common sense, mechanical improvements and mass production.
plus legal, business and financial institutions that have worked amazingly
well.
Now women are bringing to the mix, the Personal side of things.
The networking.
The Communication
The Personality
The Heart
The Life Connection
---
ND Mission:
To educate the world on the power, the love and the joy in exploring and understanding
their feelings and emotions.
ND is an organization based on love, trust, honesty and fellowship.
---
Business "packages"
as EAP
Emergency assistance
choices: 1 hour of therapy, or medication, or even hospitalization -slow, costly,
or too invasive.
there's a better, faster way…we're faster than therapy, cheaper than
medical and way more personal than a hospital.
In 1 short weekend, we can SIGNIFICANTLY change a person's will-to-live, they're overwhelmin feelings of Powerlessness, and help them get in touch with their Joy and Personal Power again.
yep, just 1 weekend.
we've been doing it for over 18 years now. mostly in Fresno. and we're pretty
darned good at it.
we've had over 2,000 graduates and their Testimonials are amazing.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
we have kicked some serious emotional butt during that time. read what people say about ND.
we have saved marriages.
we have saved relationships.
we have even saved lives (literally and figuratively)
we have taken people from the doldrums to the heights
we have helped people resolve life-long hurts and angers
we have helped people seemingly bottomless grief from losing of a dear loved
one
we have helped people get through the incredible pain of divorce from a 20-
or 30-year marriage.
we have helped people come back to life, after being down and depressed for
years.
we have helped people enjoy their lives more fully and completely.
we have helped people feel Closer and more intimate with another human that
they only dreamed of.
we have helped people feel Happy, and Joyous, and Free.
You don't have to be Down to take New Directions.
You certainly aren't Broken.
You don't have to be "in crisis" or any other kind of drama, either.
you can just be Curious, or Interested, even Skeptical.
I will guarantee you this…
if you come into the class with even a semi-open mind and heart
we can help you to feel safer, more loved, more encouraged and more Ok than
you've felt for a very long time, maybe for ever!
You will learn things you never knew about yourself, your feelings, your past
and your heart.
You will see your life differently than you ever saw it before.
You will understand yourself, and other people, when you see so clearly what
makes us all tick.
You will learn a whole new 'language' of feelings and emotions that will help
you connect with people on a more personal lever than ever before.
and hey, if it doesn't work for you, no problem. I'll give you your money
back.
that's right… all of it.
I've only been asked this a few times, but it did happen the last class.
he came to Friday night and he was visibly tense.
he came to Saturday morning and he was even more tense. he mentioned to me
that he wasn't sure he could handle the class.
about 11:00 Saturday morning he asked me if we could talk. We went out in the
hallway and we talked. He told me that he had been diagnosed with Panic Anxiety
and he was having a heckuva time sitting still in a room full of people. I
said Dude, you're so close, don't leave now. You will break thru this and you
will feel better. just give me one more day. He thanked me, said he learned
a lot and asked if he could keep Doc's book but just wasn't ready to break
thru this stuff… not yet. He asked for his money back and I gave it to
him, with my best wishes, a complement on how cool it was that he was so aware
of his feelings now and an invitation to return (technically, our agreement
says you gotta attend the entire weekend, but he wanted outta there bad, so
I let him slide). I figured I could be an ass about it now, and never see him
again, or be cool about it and then he'd be free to come back when he's ready.
---
There are only 4 questions of value in life:
what is sacred?
of what is the spirit made?
what is worth living for?
and what is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same.
Only love.
- Don Juan DeMarco
---
I'm going to learn to dance my ass off.
a. very healthy
b. don't care what others are seeing
c. better yet, I see me, thru their eyes, and I like what I see.
I smile a lot, I invite others to play with me, in a very safe, respectful,
loving way
and I spread joy where I can wherever I go.
I do care what I look like -- and I feel Great!
---
maybe I'm supposed to look how I look. duh.
maybe I need to publically enjoy my love of food and eating.
maybe I need to just be, physically
and my body will adjust to what it's supposed to be.
maybe it will help me change things faster.
maybe that's just an excuse, a way to keep from trying.
maybe.
so.
I don’t do much guilt anymore. I like that.
I feel like I'm not as caring, and nice… which is true. I'm more real.
I get to feel what Not feeling guilty feels like.
I like it.
there are things I am "aware of" and paying attention to, without
them causing my heart to race or my body to tense over.
that's the test between issue and healed… does the subject cause physical
and/or emotional palpitations? if so, it's an "issue".
maybe.
---
Want to Feel better?
are you feeling down, or angry, or scared all the time?
Want to Feel more?
do your feelings seem far away or self-contained in a little box?
Want to get in-touch with your Feelings?
are you Clueless when it comes to managing your feelings and emotions?
We can help.
In 1 short, powerful weekend, you will learn to
Identify what you Feel
Accept that it's Ok to Feel
Allow, or Disallow, your Feelings
Open your heart to Love, and close it up as needed.
Embrace your inner child, where all your feelings started from.
Understand who you are, and how you got here, emotionally
Feel safe, truly safe, possibly for the first time in your life
Express your feelings in positive, productive ways, that bring people closer
to you.
Be Ok having people closer to you.
we talk about:
Trust
Guilt
Anger
Sadness
Joy
Shame
Blame
Peace
Love
Depression
Playing the Victim
Personal Power
Rage
Relief
Relief from Depression = Sad + Acceptance + Powerful + No Victim + Anger + Rage + Hurt + Disappointment + Personal Power +Anger + Hope + Joy + Relief
Relief from Anger = (Anger or hurt, differentiate.)
If hurt, Hurt + powerful + anger + hurt + fill with love + Relief + joy
if real anger, do it. yell it out and punch it out and Explode it out of your
system. keep going 'til there's no more. and then go a bit longer.
get it all out of your system.
it's kinda like a big Burp or Fart. it's pent-up energy, mostly in your chest,
that needs releasing…
… it kinda pOps.
and then recedes. and then relief
and a sorta hollow feeling exists where the energy was, but ain't there no
more.
That space needs to be filled. If you don't fill it consciously, you will fill
it unconsciously (not good).
Relief from Guilt =
Relief from Shame =
Relief from Sadness =
Steps to fill your hollow chest cavity after 'processing' your anger:
------------------------------------
Picture your Higher Power.
Allow your heart and mind to be open to Him/Her… connect.
now Picture a Color. Any color that feels good and right to you right now.
name the color outloud. be specific
Allow your Higher power to POUR this color all over you from above… there's
as much as you want…
enjoy the ooze as it caresses your hair and head. Feel it flow over you and
inside you, filling your entire insides and out with your color.
notice how it feels. notice how full you feel. full, yet light.
Make sure the empty space inside you gets extra attention.
go in with a soft sponge or towel and gently paint the walls with your color.
soothing… caressing…
touch every area until it's completely covered.
enjoy.
---
Q: "Who made more difference in curing your depression than any other
human on the planet?"
A. "you did."
---
get 'em into their feelings, really feeling it, and accepting it
and Wham! change it.
get 'em laughing. break the cycle of energy.
make a new ending to the story. (like nlp)
"You're so good at that!"
- Michelle Every
---
posted on www.eq.org 9.24.05
Ok, here's a review of TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com. (it might be slightly biased, as it's my blog, but I'll try to be honest, never-the-less.)
'cause Honesty is one of things my blog is about.
Honesty
and Safety
and Intimacy
and Commitment
and Love.
TCOYF, as I call it, is a pretty good blog, I think. What it lacks in technical
merit, it makes up for with a very real, very powerful, very unique message.
With over 300 entries, it covers lots of information, research, quotes, lessons
and personal musings all about the work I've done with people's Feelings. The
wording is clumsy in parts, but it's improved over the 3 years as I have 'found
my voice' get clearer and cleared.
but here's the cool part:
What I'm selling is totally and completely FREE!
What I'm pushing is an Unlimited supply of intensity, passion, joy and love.
What I know is that a few thousand people have Feelings and improved EQ has
radically improved their lives, so I believe they will also work for you.
What I want if for you to decide to Feel. Not avoid your feelings, but go right for them, to experience them, to enjoy them.
Taking Control of your Feelings (EQ) is one of the most important life tools
you can ever learn. ever.
Taking Control of your FEELINGS & Emotions is the Key to HAPPINESS.
Taking Control of your Feelings = Taking Control of your Life
it's true.
I've seen it over and over.
How do I know all this? My wife Paula and I have been teaching a weekend intensive for about 18 years now where we deal DIRECTLY with our feelings and emotions. We talk about -- AND EXPERIENCE -- our anger, fear, sadness, depression, along with joy, love, beauty and Personal Power. When people leave the weekend, they feel Full, and Alive, and Loving, and Powerful, and Joyous. They have found out how to deal with and heal some of their incredible unresolved pain and angers from their past, merely by Allowing and Experiencing their deepest wounds and raging hatred.
Our testimonials speak for themselves and how well this works in people's lives… we have been a part of numerous Astounding changes in people… from sickness to health, from mental hospital to magna cum laude, from suicidal to inspirational… but I'm not pushing the class. You can come if you need real, face-to-face help breaking thru old emotional baggage… but you don't NEED US to do that. You can do all this yourself, at home, with your own friends and loved-ones.
Here's my message in a nutshell: Feel, and Feel, and Feel some more.
Delve into the very core of your soul to resurface renewed, cleansed & clear,
lighter & brighter than ever before.
If it's Yucky stuff then FEEL it -- really, REALLY FEEL IT -- at your 100%,
with everything you've got, and it will leave.
If you're sad, please, please, be sad. It's the kindest, gentlest, lovingest,
healthiest gift you can give yourself. Let yourself Go to swim in a sea of
tears and grief so your poor body can finally heal. Open your heart to yourself,
allow yourself to be sad, and cry, and grieve. You will surely find out who
and what you truly love.
If you're angry, find a safe place where you can go ballistic and Express your
anger and rage as intensely as you feel it.
If you're depressed, get angry. Depression = Anger Turned Inward. Come to grips
with your anger, let it out and let it go. and you will heal.
If you're afraid, face it. Most times our fear tells us to "Pay Attention" and "Open
your Eyes" and "Wake up!". It rarely tells us "Stop" or "Avoid
at all costs" or "Run!" (sometimes, but not often). Once you
can deal with your fears, you can embrace them when they surface, listen to
them, hear the message they carry and then make good, sound, logical decisions
even though you may be afraid.
If you're guilty, quit it. Guilt is a totally optional, learned behaviour that
can ruin your life experience if left to do it's worst and poison your body.
When you are powerful enough to say "I will not carry this guilt anymore",
you'll be free to live as proud -- chin up, eyes straight and head clear.
… and there's more… oh so much more...
You see, once we fully express our pent-up sadness and rage, really, really express it, then Poof, our feelings can CHANGE. They disappate. They disappear. They are released from the confines of our body and are free to go. c-ya later, bye. yes, it's that simple.
"Feelings expressed as intensily as they are felt will reduce in intensity
and are free to change."
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT (my mentor)
Here are the simple steps to Feelin' and Healin'
Acknowledge & Accept Your feelings determine you. They guide you. They
are you. Accepting your feelings = accepting yourself.
Explore & Allow Trust your body that it knows. If you haven't 'dealt with'
your past, you need to. period.
Release & Replace. When it comes up, find a safe place and feel it at 100%
so you can let go of the yuck and find the Good.
Celebrate & Rejoice Go for the Gold, baby!! Totally aware, with wisdom,
joy and ALIVEness in your Heart!
---
What's our secret? Here are a few.
1) Acceptance. We've been there. we know what it's like. and you're ok with us, whether you're raging at a pillow, curled up in our laps in a fetal position, or dancing around the place, as carefree and light as you've ever felt before.
2) Safety. By fully accepting you and focussing the entire class's energies on you, you are likely to feel Safer and more Loved and accepted than ever before in your life. The power of the group intention is just awesome to witness!
3) The Group. People crave connection. Connection is the key and Love is the answer. We may all have different life stories -- some far worse than others -- but the one thing we all share in common, regardless of race, creed, sex or color, is our Feelings. We have ALL felt sad before. We have all been angry. We have all lost someone or something we loved. We all have Feelings and it is from there that we connect, we belong, we create intimacy and we fit in with humanity.
4) The Focus. I've been to a lot of workshops, and I know about a lot of other workshops, but I have never seen one that goes Directly for the feelings and emotions like we do. You want to get to the heart of the matter? let's go. Here's an example: The homework exercise for Friday night of class, answer 2 questions: 1) Who or what are you angry at? 2) Who or what hurt you the most? we don't avoid feelings, we go right for them. so you'll know how after the weekend is over.
5) A Sense of Humour. This is tough stuff… as tough as it gets, actually. It's quite simple, really, but it ain't easy. So we keep a good attitude about it all. We have fun, we dance, we celebrate, we lift up, we encourage and we hug (a lot), 'cause that's what we want our lives to be about. We dig into the yucky feelings, but we come right back to laughing and hugging and love.
6) The Love. Everything, and I mean everthing, is done with Love. We love you unconditionally, right from our first meeting. why? because it works. because it's wonderful, because we choose to love. If we have the tools to handle the hurt and disappointments that come with all relationships, we can open up and trust and love with all our hearts, but wisely and intelligently.
7) Experience. As I said, we've been doing this for awhile now… an entire Generation, in fact. It works for kids, for teens, for adults and for the elderly. We've seen it all and we've dealt with all types of people, probably someone like you.
In my blog there's straight-forward talk about Feelings and Emotions. I think you'll find that I explain them and discuss them and debate them like you've never seen anywhere else.
I just want people to Feel. Period. The power, the beauty and the Joy of truly being in-touch with yourself, your feelings, your passions and your Life is indescribable. Click thru to read a few items… only takes a sec… as your body will know right away how you Feel about my style and my message.
"You can't Heal what you can't Feel."
read on…and Feel!
- Matt
---
---
Finding my voice…
- mcp 09-23-05
---
---
New Directions Workshop's
STATEMENT OF DIRECTION
---------------------------------------
I am through being the Victim.
And finished blaming others, and myself.
NOW WHAT?!?
Even though I am Afraid,
I am turning Anger into Love,
Sadness to Joy,
and Depression into Personal Power.
Now I choose to feel ALIVE!!
9.23.05 me, pkp, christine
http://2gethelp.blogs.com/takingcontrol/2005/09/statement_of_di.html
---
I guess I wanna show people how to live. young adults or fired-up women are
my fave. like LJ and Kim and __ (her sis) and Carole (last class) and Jenn
and Michele and Michelle and Karen, etc. we want people who are ready to go
to work. don't come here to pussy-foot around. we do serious emotional cleansing
work, and it's not for everybody.
By golly, if you ain't into it, that's ok.
or tell you what, ever better... we can go as deep, or not, as you are ready
to go.
We'll come to where you are.
We have seen (and felt) how deep we CAN go -- but as Doc says, "You can
only be where you are." (duh. yet profound in as a means of Accepting
yourself).
in fact, that's another cool thing about us... since we've worked with sooo
many people, on sooo many growth paths, we can be VERY respectful of where
you are in Your growth and development.
we'll come where you are and
we'll lift you up
we'll celebrate you
and encourage you
and teach you
and guide you
and fill you up with love and warm feelings
so you don't feel alone, anymore.
Once a graduate, always a Friend.
---
and if you're seeing where you're at, clearly, honestly, at a feeling level
and you're not liking it. that's cool, too.
we'll tell you that, too.
the cool part about finding out we're NOT where we WANT to be, it leaves Huge
potential for growth and development
what if we were "There". And this was it.. How sad would that be?
---
People don't know.
As teens and young adults, people don't know that they are going to marry their
mother or their father, depending on which one they have the biggest issues
with.
People don't know that their current beliefs and behaviours are so interconnected
to their childhood traumas.
People don't know that you can beat the voices in your head.
People don't know that they can heal their own depression.
People don't know that exploring and learning to manage their feelings and
emotions is the key to happiness.
People don't know all the emotional choices they actually have.
People don't know that they can feel better, when they've felt badly for so
long.
People don't know that there is so much Hope, so easily and permanently.
People don't know what to do with all their anger.
People don't know how to combat their fears.
People don't know how to effectively reduce their sadness and grief.
People don't know these basic concepts that we take as obvious.
We need to teach them.
http://2gethelp.blogs.com/takingcontrol/2005/09/people_dont_kno.html
---
Why are you doing this work?
"She said she wanted to be free more than anything else."
---
ND Target Audience
25-45 single females (or the very few emotionally aware males of any age)
45-65 married females
employed, middle income
probably divorced
wanting less pain, more love and happiness out of life
emotional healing, relationships, recovery, success, growth
---
see Radio High School movie: PUMP UP THE VOLUME
---
(?) huhmm? or hmmm...
(!) a comment, not nec. at end of sentence
---
I've been trying to sell you on ND.
that's not what I'm selling.
I'm selling Feelings.
talk to people. teach them. show them.
they don't know that their Feelings are the Key to Happiness.
they don't know that they have Everything they need, inside them, to be really
Happy and Joyous and Free.
they don't know because they haven't been taught.
they don't know how Easy it can be (yes, after awhile, when you stop fighting
it, it actually couldn't be easier)
it's about being authentic, real-life, right-now YOU.
that's it.
what could be easier or more natural.
In fact, that's the point.
The more you're in touch with your Feelings, the more Natural and Genuine and Real you can be.
---
Wanna Be more Real?
Sick of wearing that fake Mask all the time, cause you're Afraid to take it
off?
---
we can help show you how.
we can create a safe place for you to process thru your feelings.
we can offer support and love and encouragement and for you,
but you don't need us to do the work.
find someone local.
find a trusted friend, who's not afraid of their own feelings.
get some help. or not.
but do the work.
---
I've been working on this wording for years.
and I finally Got it.
I'm not selling ND or TCOYF or TCOYL,
I'm selling Feelings.
tell 'em it's Easy.
tell 'em it's Free.
tell 'em it's the Key to Happiness.
tell 'em that it's the ONLY WAY to really Take Control of their Lives.
oh, and warn them too, because there is a down side to all this.
'em, too, that it ain't always Fun.
you will friggin' Hurt to the Depths of your soul.
you will feel Pain that is so intense you will feel like your chest is gonna
explode and your heart is gonna bust >> !!
you will feel and you will cry and you will Scream and you fall to the ground in pain.
… and you will Heal.
… and it will pass.
(and this is the way to make it pass, is to Allow it. there are other choices. there is years of analysis, there is eating, and drinking, and food and hard drugs and pills, and work, and reading, and porn, and all kinds of ways to Avoid feeling what you're really feeling, way down deep. well guess what -- what you feel is what you feel.
"You can only be where you are." - Doc Downing
seems kinda 'duh', but think about it.
how many times do we say, to ourselves, 'nah, I don't feel that. I'm not that
angry.'
acknowledge, allow, release, replace
acknowledge = explore + identify
we don't Avoid our Feelings,
we go Looking for them!
we wanna find what we're Angry about, so we can get it handled and out of our
System. sometimes, for ever.
we wanna realize our Fears, and our Limiting Beliefs, and any self-abusive
language that's secretly plays in our heads.
we take classes, we read, we are all in Support Groups, some are in therapy,
especially Group Therapy (cause it's cheaper and we understand the power of
the group process!)
Your Feelings are the Key to Life: Take Control of them
Connection is the Key.
You've been hurt. bad.
You're pissed off.
You've been pissed off so long that now you're Depressed, too.
good news: so has everyone else!
every one.
that is the one clear, combining factor among all us Humans.
We all understand what Pain is.
We are all Angry about something(s).
We all understand Love.
We all know what the magic of the human connection feels like.
however, we are at drastically different levels of Awareness about what we
can Do with our feelings.
We now understand so much more about them, how to live with them, how to control
them (not force, but manage and be smart about them)
---
Make a space, that's all your own.
somewhere, somehow
make it yours.
---
people who spend time alone usually hate it at first
but then after awhile, they start to like it
and don't then want to be around others much.
ironic, but true.
---
"
New Directions is a place that no matter where you are in your learning process,
or what problems you have in life, you will walk away with new information.
This has been a journey in learning for me and I would like to share this part
of my personal growth with each and every person I meet. "
- Lori Seargeant, ND instructor and participant for over 12 years
---
we are selling Feelings, period.
we are spreading the gospel, the truth, the way and the light.
We are selling Life!
Feelings = Life.
Passion.
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Contentment.
Safety.
Compassion.
all of it.
and that's my point…
There really IS nothing more important to focus on.
The people's lives that were trashed and drowned and blown away… what
do they have left?
Their Feelings. Their Hearts. Their Memories. Their Connections to others.
nothing else. nothing.
I'll say it again,
there is Nothing more important to learn about than this.
nothing else. nothing.
posted
---
Accept & Allow Allow it Get a Clue
Express and Release Feel it Get a Grip
Replace and Rejoice Enjoy it Get a Life
---
what if we could control our feelings enough that we could Process through,
even really hurt or angry feelings, right through our system, to return to
a healthy, living-in-the-moment peace about you because You Know You can Handle
Anything that comes your way, from this day forward.
yes, you can make THAT BIG of jumps in just 1 weekend. no kidding.
It's just Attitude.
It's all Attitude.
And Attitude is all YOURS!
You can switch things around so fast, once you get to the bottom of it all,
it's quite amazing to watch, and experience.
(hint, if nothing else, come to class just to Experience the most incredible
journey, the journey Inside Yourself. Watch as people transform before your
eyes! You like Reality Shows? You will see the most heart-wrenching, love-building,
totally-let-down-the-walls
We're like a nudist colony for our Feelings.
We come naked
And we agree to accept each other just as we are.
And it's a beautiful thing.
plus, we are definitely a Colony, too.
like you'd think. everyone pitches in. everyone gets along. one BIG happy family.
when you run into another ND grad, you have an INSTANT CONNECTION, because
you both have been places that others don't go. You 'get it' about your feelings.
You know that Love is the answer, so you open up to that person right away.
many hug, even some very happy marriages between consenting ND grads.
---
as George Carlin said "My job is go find all the goofy shit and come back
and report it to you."
well, same here.
"My job is to watch how people handle their Feelings (and how they don't)
and come back and report it to you."
---
Get a Clue -- Get a Grip -- Get a LIFE!
Trust me, if you ain't in control of your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT
in control of your life, period! Feelings run the show... whether you like
it or not. You'd better check out this site because you need to understand
what's going on inside you. We can teach you to identify and accept your body's
natural feelings and emotions, make friends with them, explore them, learn
from them and someday learn to adore them. Feelings are your Heart, and your
Soul and your life. Master your Feelings and Success and Happiness are yours.
Step in, read on. Love more, cry less. LIVE FREE > > >
published as header on TCOYF 9.10.05. 01:15 best yet.
Trust me, if you ain't in control of your Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT
in control of your life, period! Feelings run the show... whether you like
it or not. We can help you explore a whole new side of yourself - the Inside
-- to the depths of your being. That place where Love, and Joy, and Sadness,
and Anger, and Passion, and Sex, and Fun. Step in, read on. Love more, cry
less. LIVE FREE > > >
published as header on TCOYF 9.10.05. 05:37 even better.
---
The New Directions Get-a-Clue Weekend Intensive
Love more, hurt less LIVE FREE
The New Directions Live Free Weekend Intensive
my fav -> The New Directions Feeling and Healing Weekend Intensive
---
people want to be lead. like MP does.
with Love, and clarity.
he is putting his whole self into
he can do that
---
Here's how to do a keyword-filled email...
Handjobs. Hetero handjobs, see hot babes giving a teen handjobs in many handjob
movies. I love this handjobs porn site!
http://www.handjobs-porn.com
___
Handjobs
---
Let people YELL, really YELL!
and sing, and hard and as LOUD as they can.
("Maria, Maria" on Santana, Supernatural)
at 100%!
What do you DO at 100%?
What?
Anything?
Something. What?
The more the you know about yourself, the better your BEST can be!
You can PUSH yourself.
You can dig deep.
If it's you or me, dude, sorry, but you lose.
I know people were poor and helpless and infirmed.
but do you really think you would allow yourself, or your family, to be wandering
the streets for days? homeless and helpless?
I don't think so.
and I sure hope not.
We better learn how to Take Care of OURSELVES.
We better learn how to Kick some ass!
We better learn how to push ourselves when needed, to take care ourselves and
our families, to be strong and powerful and Aware. We're pretty comfortable,
as Americans, but we're being Rocked lately, and we'd better wake up and hear
the clues.
If you can't control your emotions, you can't control your life.
---
Get a Clue. Get a Life!
If you don't understand the world of Feelings and Emotions, you are NOT in
control of your life! Trust me, your feelings run the show... whether you like
it or not… and they are the key to both Success and Happiness. So you'd
better understand them, make friends with them, explore them, control them
and maybe even learn to adore them. Step in we'll teach you. Love more, hurt
less, LIVE FREE . . .
09.02.05 on tcoyf.com
---
where you are is where I wanna be.
in your eyes is everything I wanna see.
in the night, you are my dream
you're everything to meee--ee--ee.
you're the love,
Of my life
in my breath
in my prayers
take my hand
you there
what I need is you here
I can't forget, the taste of your mouth
from your lips, the heavens pour out.
when we are one
it's you alone and I am feeee-ee-eee.
every day, every night
you alone
you're the love of my life.
(awesome drums, fast)
then carlos goes at it.
every day, every night
you alone
you're the love of my life.
we'll go dancing in the moooonlight
with the starlight in your eyes
we'll go dancing til the sun rise
you and me, we're gonna dance, Dance, DA--....
(fantastic dancing, and Carlos get DOWN!)
---
I'm not the performer.
I'm the producer.
---
Create my story, interspersed with pictures
on MP.com
or start by adding pics to, make 'em read down a bit… it's a good story.
---
Donna Steinhorn is one of the top coaches in the US now, with Rhonda Britton.
Rhonda started by doing workshops on handling Fears, only.
she would go from town to town and create and enroll for her workshop.
ours, it's about the connection. the people. the love.
"
please, there a bunch of you and I want so bad for everyone to get what they
need from the class. Please participate to the best of your ability. I get
busy helping other people and can't watch out for you as much as I'd like to
-- so help me out. I hope you now are convinced that the issue IS the feelings… it
doesn't matter what you're Feeling about… the issue is How to understand,
control and manage your Feelings. That's it. ANY other issues, you can get
through, as long as you have your Feeling Toolbox by your side. with the right
tools, you can build a skyscraper of a life! when you're done with this life,
do you wanna look back and see that you did made it, but it was pretty much
a draaag. you constantly felt like you were in a 'Survival mode', scraping
by, scared, not that great of relationships. I don't think so. I know for me,
I wanna go outta here going "Damn, that was fun!" hard, but mostly
Fun! I had it all. Love, Joy, Peace, Freedom, Security, Pride, Respect. I pushed
myself to live on-the-edge and I experienced SOOOOO much. I sure am glad I
was able to manage my Fears, so I could let myself do some wild and Crayzyz
things!!
phew.
I pushed myself to be my best… to go where I've never been before, inside
myself. Life was a true adventure, because I enjoyed the 'E-ticket' ride of
the Century… inside me. Call me self-centered, but that's by far the
most interesting thing, to me, me.
---
thanks Carlos for helping beauty and beat to the journey
---
(alternate thread from above)
when people are processing, please join them. When others are crying is the
easiest, best, coolest time to let yourself cry, as well. it's awesome, really,
and oh so healing.
Who else does that?
You HAVE ISSUES. Trust me, you have issues from your past. Unless you've done
conscious healing work on yourself, your inner child, your past, your Feelings,
you ain't there. Seriously. There is no way that
---
---
when you Celebrate, you gotta have MUSIC along with!
Rocky
Titans Spirit
Top Gun
---
most people, when they start to cry, they try to stop it or cut it off
not me.
I try to keep it going as long as I can.
to open my heart and let ALL the tears that need to come out, come out.
sometimes even pushing gently to get it all
it's kinda hard for me to open (still). so when it happens, I want to take
the best advantage of it.
I usually try to bend over, as the pain and heaviness comes out my mouth, and
out into the universe.
ouch.
as I'm crying, I'm also checking for / allowing any Anger, or actually ANY
kind of noise or feeling, to come up and out.
---
The bad news is if you've been trying to multi-task, you've probably discovered
what organizational psychologists have observed to be decreasing accuracy and
productivity in post layoff climates. Multi- tasking is not a sustainable answer
to the too much to do and too few to do it problem! The brain's executive control
processes, the resource allocators, are overstressed and the result is a measurable
time-cost.
The good news is there is a way to get it all done – efficiently and
without undue stress on your mental and emotional resources – juggling!
The difference between the two is quite simple, and yet critical to your success.
Multi-tasking requires multiple items (responsibilities, tasks or deadlines)
in hand at the same time.
Juggling require only one item (responsibility, task or deadline) in hand at
a time, though often briefly and on a recurring basis.
---
a 31-day program of ND Tips and Tricks.
---
Analysis vs. Processing of Feelings
therapists are trained in Analysis, Identification, Labeling, Design a program,
work the program, followup
we just work directly with the Feelings themselves.
we don't focus that much who you're mad at, or even why
we are just concerned that you are Angry.
Awareness, Identification, Expression of the Feeling itself.
we are experts in dealing with Feelings and Emotions.
Anger, Fear, Sadness, Depressed feelings, Guilt, Shame, Resentment, Control
Another difference:
Therapy is usually done in 1-, maybe 2-hour intervals.
we do about 30 hours all in one weekend.
we feel we can get better results that way:
- Allows the group to 'meld' into tight, close connections
- Gives folks time to 'go deep' into their heart and soul, to make core changes
and relieve stuck feelings that they've carried since they were very little
- we hit 'em Hard, getting right to the Heart of the matter!
---
Need to handle Head and Heart, practical and emotional
I have a judgement, and anger, about …
I have a judgment, and fear, about…
and figure out the mix… maybe 80% judgement… and changing it might
alleviate the entire situation.
or it may be more emotional… if you did this for me, it would help me
feel loved… but no real practical application… it just feels better.
---
where in your body, do you feel?
have to go to the bathroom lower abdomen
Anger hands, jaw, wall around my heart
old unexpressed anger, neck, shoulders, lower back
Sad Heart is heavy, fuller
Eyes, just beside and behind, filled with tears
Fear Lower back Fight or Flight - remedy? Anger. force grounding, no run, DECIDE
Back of my arms (fight)
general tension
ungrounded (flight)
out, out, out
|
|
\/
Lightness
Relief
Joy
Sunshine
Love
Peace
Serenity
(people know how to Run, but they don't know how to stand and Fight!
after, feel Proud, Powerful, Courage, 'nadlies', Fairness
how to deal with your own, and help others deal with theirs.
the more you know about yourself, the better you can get along with others.
Unhappy
Wimpy
Tired of having 'Potential', but not living up to it?
(written on a paper towel at the gym on a sat. morning when no one was there
to play 8-27-05)
---
do lessons, like Coach T, did for coaching. help re: dealing with people
example: http://www.coachville.com/tourhowtocoach.html
he did 100
---
Mistaken self-esteem.
think you're bad, but others see you dif.
stubborn refusal to look at oneself honestly and objectively
---
Here are the '8 Steps to Building your Multiple Streams Business' AJL
Discover Your Niche Market
Elicit the Problems
Find the Solutions
Choose Your Packaging
Generate Traffic
Convert Traffic into Prospects
Feed Your Reservoir
Pursue a BOP Position in your Niche Market
---
http://www.andreajlee.com/ArielleFordReport.pdf
Don’t write your book first;
nobody’s going to read it. Publishers don’t buy finished books –
publishers buy book proposals. What it is, is basically a 50-page
document that gives an overview of the book, the background of the
author, a chapter breakdown, a marketing section on how you’re going
to help the publisher market this book, a competitive analysis section
that explains what other books in the marketplace are similar to yours
and how they sold, and then 1, 2 or possibly 3 sample chapters from
the book – and they don’t have to be in chronological order. That’s
what an agent takes to a publisher to sell. No agent and no publisher
is going to read an entire manuscript, so don’t write the book first.
You want to outline it and you want to understand it, but you don’t
need to write it.
every publisher has access to Bookscan, and this
tracks actual sales at bookstores; you can’t lie to a publisher
“
Publishers want a writer who already has
a platform - someone who already has a
website that’s up and active, an email list
of at least 10,000 names, and someone
who has a market to sell some books into
and understands the platform. “
They also want somebody who is
self-supporting – somebody who has a day job if they’re not making
enough to be rich yet.
af@fordsisters.com
The biggest
authors I’ve worked with were all on a mission; they were about
having something to share with the world. They were all about
transmitting information and they were willing to give energy every
single day for years.
I would say ‘slow down’; publishing is a slow industry.
If you had a book proposal today, it would take 6 to 12 months to get
that sold, and then it would take another 12 to 18 months for the book
to come out. I would say building your platform is the most important
thing.
---
do a newsletter that gives Examples each time.
so-and-so has an issue. here's what she's been feeling. here's where it came
from in her family/past. here's an assessment of the current situation. here's
what she's doing about/with/because of it. (then have short follow-ups as time
goes, to let 'em in on)
Feeling and Healing
Stories of brave souls who face their emotional demons, and win.
how about a bi-weekly newsletter with this as a regular 'column'?
btw, the #1 most effective thing we could do right now, for building our future,
is to start a regular newsletter. Beginning next week, I commit thru the end
of 2005 to producing a bi-weekly newsletter, available both online and via
email, sign-up-able via our AutoResponder (actually, we'll start with the existing
list and ask first, chance to get off, otherwise you're signed up).
teach Christine how.
---
http://www.oneminutemillionaire.com/tools/hots.asp 8.9.05
H.O.T.S. Survey: Results
Your Answers Indicate A Hare Role
APPROACH: Conceptual/Spontaneous
DESCRIPTION: The Hare generates the concepts and ideas. They like to reframe
the problem and look for solutions that may be unusual, unique,and/or outside
the boundaries of traditional thought. Hares are good at exploring alternatives
and perceiving the "big picture".
Hares want freedom from constraint, and when a rule exists they may break it.
They may act impulsively, letting their feelings guide them. They derive satisfaction
from the process of creating,discussing concepts and ideas,and overcoming obstacles.
When everything is in its place,the Hare may become restless,get impatient,and
have a tendency to move from one subject to another.
CONTRIBUTION: Fresh,original concepts that go beyond the obvious,and are not
constrained by fear of failure.
WEAKNESESS: Because the Hare enjoys generating ideas, they may move from one
idea to another without stopping to evaluate the consequences.
If left alone to refine concepts,they will solve the problem within the problem
within the problem,and eventually lose sight of the objective.
INSTINCT: Reframing problems to achieve breakthrough solutions,moving in new
directions,examining possibilities without regard to risk.
---
How do you FEEL?
Are you Happy and Joyous and Free??
or are you Shut-down, Depressed, Guilt-ridden and ANGRY?!?
Taking control of your Feelings is the key to personal Happiness and Success
in your Career, Family and Relationships.
Stop by. We'll show you an amazing world that lies deep inside you -- your
Passions, your Joys, Your Personality, Your FEELINGS!
http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
---
keywords: feelings, emotions, control, relationships, love, trust, faith, anger,
pain, feel, men, women, feeling, emotional, sad, depressed, blaming, guilty,
guilt, sorrow, alive
---
Inner Game categories - benefits of getting help, nicely written, starting
with numbered list 1-7 Fix IMPORTANT Things
http://www.doubleyourdatingprogram.com/e/Alt/DeepInnerGame/
---
Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows?
Long ago in China there was a famous student of Zen Master Ma Jo named Han
Ong. Everyone said to him, "You are so lucky." Then he said, "Good
luck, bad luck. Who knows?".
He had a good horse, which he liked to ride every day. One day the horse disappeared,
so everyone said, "Oh, such bad luck" He said, "Good luck, bad
luck. Who knows?".
A few days later, the horse returned, and brought with it a whole herd of wild
stallions. The townspeople cried, "Oh, that's wonderful - what good luck!".
But he said "Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?"
His son liked one of the new horses and rode it every day. He only had to mount
the horse and it would go, so he rode around and around, very happy. Then one
day while riding, he fell off and broke his leg. So everyone said, "Ah,
I am sorry your son broke his leg. What bad luck!" He said, "Good
luck, bad luck. Who knows?"
Soon after this, there was a war, with North China and South China fighting
each other. All the young people had to go to the army. But Han Ong's son had
a broken leg, so he could not go.
"
Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?"
---
Life's a dance you learn as you go:
Sometimes you lead; sometimes you follow.
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know.
Life's a dance you learn as you go.
---
(to val and becca, 8.8.805)
I'm not sure it means that things are going well... that's up to me.
I definitely believe that it's the Plan. for us. all of us. to go out and make
a difference. we have been gifted. why? to teach. period.
sometimes the gift can be a burden. tuff.
the teachings are more important than our comfort.
(as you can hear, I'm overburdened / too many jobs right now, due to the Attraction
principle.)
but really, I'm taking it seriously that I was chosen to teach, and lead.
but with a different attitude than before.
An attitude of Love is First.
You can be pissed.
You can protect your boundaries.
You can be as strong and powerful and as amazing as you want…
and make as money as you want, unashamedly.
but Love first.
in every thing. all the time.
Love first.
If you love your customers
If you love your income.
if you love your computer and your desk, and your life
greater Love will come to you, as you spread the love.
It's not the Money we all want.
It's the Freedom, and the Peace, and the Security, and Love that money can
help bring.
the cool part is that all of those feelings are very much Within Our Control.
we can increase them
we can feel them more often
we can turn up the volume
we can feel 'em,
anytime, anywhere
with or without the money.
---
so, what are you waiting for?
Feel Love Now.
try it.
take a big breath. close your eyes (in a sec) and picture someone you love
and allow your feelings of Love to surface, to grow in your heart, to envelop
you, from the inside out.
---
ND: It lets your Soul SING.
---
after class, make an address that goes to all send autoresponder after class
to all and let 'em know the address with mailto:ND75@newdirectionsworkshop.com
ND75
---
Another warning! 7.23.05
Once you start your trip inside, working through your issues and understanding
and appreciating your feelings and emotions, learning how to deal with people
on a loving, clear, present level, knowing your connection to the world and
everybody in it… that kinda thing. Well, knowing all that will set you
a bit apart from most of the population, who are relatively clueless (imho).
Some of our experienced graduates have complained that "the playing field
has been narrowed considerably… I just can't date shallow, narrow, self-centered,
unaware people anymore." Sorry, it’s true. You'll probably look
at some of your current friends and family too, and decide NOT to hang around
with them anymore. Toxic, discouraging or ego-centered people become less and
less desirable, regardless of their physical beauty, wealth or "in" they
are. You'll be more selfish about who you are willing to hang with / date /
befriend.
---
<
- Take The Tour ->
Half Story, Hafl Lessons
I have a famous book (forgot the name) that is formatted a bit differently
and I thought it might work for us.
The lessons are on the even pages and a Story is on the odd pages.
How about we do the Tour like that…
Story Lesson
--------------------------------
| | |
| | |
| <-previous | next-> |
--------------------------------
we'll tell someone's story (I'm thinking Karen's) throughout the tour on the
left… and we show the lessons, analysis, points on the right.
we'll take them thru her life, from childhood (where she was abused and what
she "learned / decided"), thru her adulthood (and the pain and dysfunction
it caused), through ND (and what she processed / re-decided), then the powerful
results she's gotten since (grad from college, great job, hub, etc)
whatchathink??
7.29.05 Christine Helman
starts Tour on page 1
with TofC as small links at bottom of each page
and 2 BIG, fun buttons
What's possible
*Why get 'In Touch' with your Feelings? (marked as Next)
Concepts
Assumptions
What makes us tick: Events -> Meanings -> Feelings -> Behaviours
4 Steps to Learning
6 Steps to Feeling and Healing
Categories of Feelings
The Anger -> Depression Connection
Now What?!?
I (now) have Personal Power!
Stop being a Wimp - find your internal courage, strength and chutzpa
Quit your Bitchin' - feel like you're negative or down on most things. Guess
what? people don't really want to be around that for very long. Or if they
do, it's people who are also negative and discouraging, or people who give
too much, without boundaries and wimpy, too. The negativism is Anger, and lack
of Trust, and lots of hurt. It's not "natural", it's Learned behaviour
-- fueled by unexpressed Feelings -- and CAN be rectified.
good news: your outlook, attitude, energy and behaviours are all things that
you have TOTAL 100% control over - Just learn How.
Be Happier and More Successful - there is no doubt that learning about your
feelings will make you happier and more successful. We've seen it happen, and
we've Experienced it personally… I can't give any better testimonial
than that. In fact, there's no way it Can't work. Once you understand yourself
better, you will Automatically start doing things in a "better" way.
If you don't Realize some of the Choices you have in many areas of your emotional
life, IF YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CHOICES ARE, YOU CANNOT MAKE GOOD
DECISIONS.
"We cannot make decisions about things we are Unaware of."
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
And, when you do realize your choices, it'll be Much easier to make the right
choice. Awareness is the 1st key to change.
bad news: once you're Aware of what you're "up to", you've gotta
change it.
Ok, How much is it?
---
"
honoring the past, celebrating the present, realizing the future."
- ICF
---
add the 3 Purposes to the weekend to the website.
write the Tour
---
Ability to Control our Lives
Physical 60-80%
Emotional 80-100%
Spiritual 100%
Financial 60-80%
---
Feedburner Animator Code: scrolls thru last 5 blog entries 7.6.05
<
a href="http://2gethelp.blogs.com/takingcontrol/"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/TakingControlOfYourFeelingsAndEmotions.gif" height="67" width="200" style="border:0" alt="Taking
Control of your Feelings and Emotions"/></a>
---
CEU's
NASW - Nat'l Assoc. of Social Workers
connect there
networking group
do a presentation to the group
who does education programs?
www.naswca.org
---
I thought I had it, but there's more.
The Happiness Factory
You're going to use an assessment tool to test your current level of Happiness
in certain areas.
Take it before the course, then again After the course, and compare your results.
If you can honestly say that you are not Happier after the course, you can
have your money back. period.
call me crazy, but I'm that sure that this stuff works.
If I don't perform for you, then you don't have to pay. you might want to leave
a portion for overhead but that's my offer.
all our products and services are reasonably priced… less than most… so
more can enjoy the fruits of our work.
similar coaching programs like this sell for $795 - $1,495
ours is only $99 a month for 3 months.
that's a steal.
you get a personal coaching call, worth that by itself, in most coaching circles.
I know a coach personally who charges clients $1,000/mo. just to talk to him
once a week… and he's got plenty of clients, 'cause he's worth it! But
he's also going for high-end business and I'm trying to help the everyday man
and woman. most of us don't have the $300-$500 most coaching practices charge.
Try this program. If after the 90 days you appreciate the incredible power
of the Coaching / Teaching model, you'll likely want to hire your own coach.
try it now, decide later.
---
in response to a new member who said: "just joined yesterday, so I haven't
read everything yet, but I have read enough to know that this might be a good
place to hang out for awhile."
"My name is Shannon, I'm 28 and live in Illinois. You are right, by the
way, this is a wonderful place to "hang out". For me, it's a private
community, or family, only unlike any I've known before. Here I am safe to
be myself, express what I'm thinking and feeling (without fear of judgement).
Some people may offer encouragement, insights, on occasion a suggestion or
two, but it's always offered out of love and kindess. No ulterior motives.
I feel safe here, and hope one day you will too. "
05.31.05 Laclair
Link to thread called "Introducing Myself". (try it at typesize =
333!)
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp/_notifications.msnw?type=msg&action=showdiscussion&parent=1&item=2436
Same link, typesize = 0
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp/_notifications.msnw?type=msg&action=showdiscussion&parent=1&item=2436
---
Feelings Builder Wheel - assessment/coaching tool
8-piece pie chart
Personal Responsibility
Awareness
Acceptance
Expression
Releasing - letting go, forgiving,
Replacing - filling up
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Happy
Depression
(if you as a coach don't know it, don't use it as part of the pie chart.)
---
Give me 1 weekend and I can TURN ON your feelings and your Life!
Give me 1 weekend and I can show you how to Take Control of your Feelings and
your LIFE!
- mcp
Give me 15 weeks and I’ll help you get all the clients, sales and revenue
you want.
- MP
---
classified - coaches public
Clients feeling shut down or stuck? Feeling shut down or stuck in anger, fear
or depression?
Emotional Breakthrough Workshop.
Profound changes in one weekend.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
---
Tips, tricks & wisdom on how to take control of your feelings and emotions,
sign-up here
---
CE listing: http://www.bbs.ca.gov/pdf/celist.pdf page 23 of 59
PCE 3406 Fresno Youth Advocates docd@familycommcenter.org 2560 W Shaw #101
Fresno CA 93711 559-431-0500
http://www.bbs.ca.gov/pdf/cechart.pdf
---
www.HoffmannInstitute.org, 8 day class in Napa
good wording: http://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/process.html
"The Hoffman Process: The World-Famous Technique that Empowers You to Forgive Your Past, Heal Your Present, and Transform Your Future"
"The New Directions Process: The life-enhancing techniques that Empower you to Forgive your Past, Heal your Present and Transform your Future."
---
Cheryl Nolan describes class:
"you know how some people don't feel very good about themselves or don't know how to have positive, value-for-value relationships? Well, I help people feel better about themselves, create closer, more loving relationships and take more control of their emotional lives".
I help people realize that any behavior quirks they have are rooted in their family of origin and that realization and a little experiential emotional work will see them clear and out the other side able to make new choices.
---
Do a comprehensive Info Kit, free download
offer THAT on TCOYF.
---
Want to connect with others better? Want people to listen to you, and actually
Hear you? Need a safe place to just totally be yourself, whatever you're
feeling? Come check out our 2GetHelp online Support Group -- it's growing
into a very cool place to be.
I've never seen a place that sets such a good example of Positive communications
and listening from the Heart.
people are kind and loving there, and accepting of whatever bugaboos each of
us has.
There's no fee, ever. Everyone there is totally voluntary.
Come read some of the Messages.
If you like what you see and feel, Join us.
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
---
put your comments into the site.
Blog
each week gets a blog entry
so people need to subscribe to the blog…. wow, how unusual!
wonder how MP does it.
1. Write the copy, once, using the template.
2. Put it in the AR to be sent out on Tuesday.
3. Make it a Blog entry on the site.
look at the sticky stuff on the right side… these are all blog entries, not other resources/sites
I think I should go to 3 columns. My entries are pretty short, so they could
be squished a bit.
easier to read links on left… new links.
---
Who's the target market for ND?
People who are unhappy and believe there's more to life.
People who know they are Angry much of the time, and are sick of it.
timid people
scared people
frightened people.
angry people
rageful people
mean people.
bitter people
Send us your wretched...
unhappy people
disgruntled people
discouraged people.
people who feel bad about themselves
people who are down on themselves
people who don't like themselves.
people who hate their lives
people who hate their family
people who just hate.
people who want to love more
people who want to be more open
people who want to be more present and available.
people who want to feel closer to others
who want to be intimate
to connect.
people who want to love more fully then they've always imagined but haven't
felt yet
people who are sick of feeling down, ready for something different
people who are ready for a change, a big change, a wonderful change.
---
Do a page JUST for the Feelings Revolution
---
I get knocked down,
but I get up again.
You're never gonna keep me down.
I get knocked down,
but I get up again.
You're never gonna keep me down.
- "Knocked Down"song , __
---
actually, marketing in only the US is foolish.
you think WE don't have the resources… there are other countries who
have NOTHING to help them.
We need to keep our international customers in mind, as I already have some
I'm talking to/working with.
---
4.5.05 (!)
very nice day.
got 3 calls singing HB to me!
and lots of emails and cards!
and hugs, too!
---
yet ANOTHER benefit of Feelings, the ND way...
severe Lack of EGO
we don't have to Prove ourselves to anyone BUT ourselves. That means we have
Total Control over "Proving Ourselves", which is one of the top life-trashers!
---
Free conference call numbers, 1st one there creates access code.
25 people, 3 hours max
http://www.freeconference.com/ViewNumbers.asp 1-800-581-3733 (581-FREE). for
current listing of available numbers.
641-297-5333 * current
218-862-6100
218-936-6666
712-580-7700
---
here's a cool LongSalesLetter page… (referred by T. Harv) William Harris
http://www.centerpointe.com/
(use my many writings ABOUT ND as setoffs -- include a graph or chart, or two,
too)
I like how he used regular fonts and dark colors thru most, with a few words
bolded and then the
OFFER
set off in white boxes, with Click here…
as you scroll down (the really long letter) you'll find supporting links which
only popup small windows (real support)
signed at bottom, with small picture.
P.S.: Remember, you receive $276.88 worth of materials for only $159, plus
$9.00 S&H ($34 S&H outside the US and Canada). If you're not 100% impressed
by the results, just send it back within one year and we'll cheerfully refund
your money. Plus, you can keep all the free bonuses as my gift to you just
for trying this powerful program.
If you prefer to order by phone,or if you have any questions, call: (800-945-2741
or 503-672-7117)
Get Mind Chatter, our monthly
newsletter! Simply enter your
email address below and click
"
Subscribe" It's FREE!!If you're still not convinced to give Holosync a
try, here's how you can get a FREE DEMO Soundtrack. Simply click here and a
popup survey will appear. Answer a couple of quick questions and give Bill
the address where you want Bill to send your FREE DEMO CD.
If you're still not convinced to give Holosync a try, here's how you can get
a FREE DEMO Soundtrack. Simply click here and a popup survey will appear. Answer
a couple of quick questions and give Bill the address where you want Bill to
send your FREE DEMO CD.
Start Here Newsletter Support Demo Purchase About DU
---
3.30.05
Ready to Feel Better?
For a FREE 7-part e-course on how to take control of your feelings and emotions,
sign-up here.
4.4
Are your feelings out of control? Ready to feel better? Personalized "Taking
Control of Your Feelings & Emotions" coaching programs available to
help you Feel Better for good! I'll guide you, teach you, encourage you, laugh
with you and cry with you. Click here for more…
The very best way I can help you is in-person, in the intensive workshop setting.
In these small-group seminars (25 max) you will get personallized attention
and specific tools that work for YOU, based on your situation and your background.
You WILL feel better in one weekend -- Guaranteed! These workshops for adults
and teens are offered monthly in California.
---
http://www.thinkbigrevolution.com/
---
I have a wonderful situation -- MOST of my best friends, are also clients.
AND Most of my clients are now considered my Friends!
---
How to make decisions that align your head and your heart.
---
Take control of your Feelings, Take Control of Your Life. Matt's been teaching
intensive, emotional-breakthrough workshops for over 18 years. Here, in a blog
format, he shares some of his insights and learning in how to understand, manage
and enjoy your Feelings & Emotions. http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
---
Alan Jackson
"Faith, Hope and Love are some great things He gave us
and the Greatest is Love."
- Where were you (when the world stopped turning)
maybe it's:
Love really is the Answer!
lookup Love on overture (again).
---
"
If you liked that, you're gonna Love this!"
- mcp
---
I gotta get my picture taken in many poses.
many with arms up
Yahoo! whoa, how about doing each Feeling.
I'm not an actor.
I just have control over my feelings.
I can access my sadness and let it get bigger and let it make me cry.
I can easily access my Anger tool. (I like that one, 'cause I feel soooo POWERful
when I use it!)
I have to use it wisely, but I'm often surprised at how useful it's been to
me.
I can even allow Depression.
as Karen taught me, depression can be used to your advantage.
as a place to rest, to rejuvinate, to heal.
and while you're healing, it's cool to feel nothing whatsoever.
for awhile.
Time limits are the key. Make sure you don't let it linger, or it could take
hold.
set a timer. have someone call you at a set time.
---
Do a movie about Feelings, and Life
REFUSE to believe that life is only enjoyable on the weekend.
BELIEVE that you can control your feelings, your future and your life.
That’s what "Work Your Life" is all about.
Movie: http://www.scottstratten.com/movie.html
---
03.21.05, again 3.26.05 (as sign-ups on 3.22-23 were highest with this wording)
Get free lessons via email.
Learn how to
understand, manage and enjoy
your Feelings & Emotions.
Ready to feel better?
Sign-up here...
03.20.05
Taking Control of our Feelings & Emotions
Let's talk about Feelings. Let's explore them, deal with them and learn to
enjoy all of our body's feelings and emotions! Get rid of yucky feelings (anger,
fear and depression) and replace them with Happy ones (joy, love & personal
power). Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success!
Let's talk about our Feelings. Let's explore them, deal with them and learn
to enjoy all our feelings that are Life! Get rid of yucky feelings and replace
them with Happy ones. Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the
key to Success!
Learn how to
understand, manage and enjoy
your Feelings & Emotions.
Get free lessons via email.
---
NDW
http://www.powerplateusa.com/technology/works.aspx
History
How & Why it Works
Benefits
FAQs
Testimonials
NDW, 3.16.05
Month Daily Avg Monthly Totals Hits Files Pages Visits Sites KBytes Visits
Pages Files Hits
Mar 2005 204 161 39 30 421 77712 458 591 2425 3072
Feb 2005 164 110 37 26 582 68640 740 1040 3093 4592
Jan 2005 103 74 24 17 479 50316 540 771 2305 3220
Dec 2004 98 73 25 12 396 33729 400 789 2287 3047
Nov 2004 48 35 17 8 232 24242 244 515 1053 1448
Oct 2004 56 33 20 11 287 24345 368 624 1041 1743
Sep 2004 54 40 13 9 267 35899 299 399 1224 1633
Aug 2004 66 49 15 10 312 50714 326 486 1547 2059
Jul 2004 34 23 10 6 183 18176 201 326 729 1076
Jun 2004 39 24 8 5 128 23189 174 241 728 1197
May 2004 29 17 6 3 116 15179 113 200 539 926
Apr 2004 10 6 2 1 45 6794 50 78 192 304
Totals 428935 3913 6060 17163 24317
3.16.05
Want Love & Happiness? Learn how to deal with your Feelings & Emotions!
,Want Love & Happiness? We must understand our Feelings & Emotions!
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success! Want
to be Happy? Sick of feeling angry, scared or depressed? Want more Joy and
Love in your life? Learn simple, practical, life-enhancing emotional tools
that are completely FREE. We're life coaches and we can show you how it's done...
simply and powerfully!
3.15.05 (after ND)
Want Love & Happiness? You must understand your Feelings & Emotions!
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success! Want
to be Happy? Sick of feeling angry, fearful or depressed? Want more Joy and
Love in your life? Learn simple, practical, life-enhancing emotional tools
that are completely FREE! We're life coaches and we can show you how it's done...
---
develop the site WITH people, getting feedback along the way.
---
table above, table right with list of "Transitions", issues, problems
http://www.renewyourcareer.com/
big coaching at: http://dashlive.com/coaching.html
---
Elevator Speeches
Identify and Summarize
1. Target Market
2. What are their Problems
3a. List how you solve these problems and provide unique solutions
3b. Include the most dramatic WOW results that you, or your clients have achieved,
using your message
4. Deepest Benefits your clients can enjoy
Long: MP's "great question"
well, you know how __ (1) go looking for __ (2), but they wind up frustrated,
disillusioned...
do you know people like that?
they people are feeling bad--- and they just want to give up
what I've done to solve these problems
in the 7 keys to booking yourself solid
they helped me __ by
I also offer easy, free, self-help products
the benefit they get is enourmous -- they feel better ___, they have Passion
again, which they had lost.
Mid
1, 2, 3 - question - You know how (target market) do, are or feel (problems)?
answer
4, 5 - one more line - What I do is (offer). The benefit to them is enormous!
They (Benefits)
Short
I help soloprofessionals book themselves solid.
Matt's 2nd shot (after Terry's good feedback -- thanks, dude.)
Long:
Well, you know how some smart, successful people are very successful in some
areas, but are often frustrated or hurting in other areas of their lives? They
might wake up with fears, are angry about their situation, or frustrated with
their kids or wife or husband. They try to create successful marriages and
families along with the demands of business and career... it's tough... trying
to juggle it all, people wind up unhappy, estranged from their family, distant
from their kids, or distracted and lackluster in their job... all of which
serve to frustrate and isolate them.
Do you know anyone like that?
The people I've met often get discouraged and it makes them want to give up
on trying to put it all together. They can't even focus on building their career
when they're hurting at home.
We've found some really simple, practical Tools to help people become totally
AWARE of their Feelings, to be able to Identify them, to Accept them, to Learn
the lessons their bodies can teach them and to Express them fully, completely,
in a way that brings Healing and Release, PASSION and success in all areas!!
(big smile!)
The New Directions teachings have helped me feel so much better about myself
and my life -- oh, I was sooo clueless, and unhappy, and really down on myself.
I had to start going to a therapist all the way back in 6th grade, and then
again in High School. Both were unable to teach me a bloody thing. How different
my life would have been if either of those Drs were able to teach me what I
know now about relationships, family and creating the love I need.
To get started, I also offer some powerful free resources -- a blog site with
my teachings, a class by email, a really loving online support group. People
can learn some of the lessons slowly. Then, if they need additional help, I
can work with them directly to really make a difference in how they live their
emotional lives.
The benefits people get are really quite amazing. People feel better. They
get sick less. They kick butt in their career. They create loving relationships...
and best of all, they get back the excitement about getting out of bed in the
morning and facing their day!
do you know anyone who's in a situation like that?
Mid:
Well, you know how often smart, successful people are hurting because of failed
marriages, estranged kids, frustrating careers or other painful subjects? This
pain can often be a real distraction and put a heavy burden on their heart
and mind.
What I do is teach people how to Understand and Take control of their Feelings
and Emotions.
They feel better. Their relationships work better. They are Happier in their
life, and more efficient, confident and clear in their jobs.
do you know anyone who's in a situation like that?
Short:
I help people who aren't feeling as good as they want to, feel significantly
better about themselves, their lives and their hope for the future!
(feedback is much appreciated.)
---
in fact, we've differentiated between people who have had Negative Programming
(like they've been Trashed by someone, verbally, or physically and told they
were nothin' and nooobody.) and those people, like me, who had a Lack of
Programming. My parents didn't know how to do it, so they couldn't teach
me. You can't teach something you're not aware about. Before the 1960's,
people wouldn't have known a Feeling if it jumped up and bit 'em! It took
some heavy drugs and radical hippies to start realizing that Feelings really
do exist…remember, Peace, Joy, Love? Well, we've found that Love really
IS the answer. We want to feel as much Love as we can possibly stand! But
we can't have JUST Love. It's a package deal. If you want to Feel Love, then
you must Feel. And if you Feel, you're gonna feel the 'other' feelings, as
well. For me, and lots of others, it's WELL WORTH IT. I feel so much MORE
LOVE then I do Anger and Fear and Sadness. And I'm no longer Afraid of my
feelings and I know how to handle and identify and express my negative feelings,
Release them, and sure enough, the natural GOOD FEELINGS SURFACE AUTOMATICALLY!
---
It's not a trick.
I can't charge you for teaching you that concept.
There is no charge for learning, practicing, experiencing, enjoying, challenging,
exploring
and for the more advanced, there's modifying, creating and eliminating
Feelings are Fun, and Amazing, and Make Life Worth Living!
Feelings are FREEEEEEEEEEEE entertainment.
Sit and listen to your heart for a few minutes and you'll see what I'm talking
about.
Ask yourself just 1 question: "What am I feeling right now?"
not How or Why or I shouldn't be…
Just an inquisitive WHAT am I feeling right now?
and let the answers come to you.
it may get uncomfortable.
I almost guarantee you will shift positions in your chair.
What ARE you feeling right now?
Do you know?
Can you Identify your different Feelings?
Try to take them apart. You can't do as much with a big mess -- "I feel like shit" doesn't tell you anything -- it gets Overwhelming that way. But if you can take them apart, and identify them, you can work with each one in more managable chunks.
Try identifying, do you feel
- Sad
- Fear or Afraid
- Anger, Rage
- Depressed, blue, hopeless, powerless
When you can answer What am I feeling right now?
then listen to them, experience them, feel them, allow them
try to even Enjoy them
ask yourself: "what is this feeling trying to tell me?"
DON"T FIGHT IT!
just let it ride.
the worst thing about Feelings is when we TRY TO AVOID and DENY our Feelings.
we can pull that off for awhile, even many years, but eventually we realize
that this ride stinks.
Fear is incideous.
it creeps in when you're not watching, and changes your life… without
your permission.
How many times have you just NOT done a little something here or there, 'cause
of fears and anxieties?
we all have. But add them all up and they’ve probably made quite a Huge
difference in your life.
Marriages that didn't happen. Jobs that never got applied for. Dances that
weren't attended. Teams that weren't joined.
When someone's problem is that they're real Angry all the time, well it's usually
pretty obvious that they're feeling that way.
Not so much with fear. Fear is quieter. more suttle. more damaging.
Here's what ?? said about this...
"
I'm not afraid of my Feelings anymore" quote
- ?? (JJ or Jen)
Anger and Hatred are Poisons and must be released, or they will kill you.
Rage is the Explosion (or implosion) from unexpressed Anger.
Guilt will keep you punishing yourself.
Shame will tear you to pieces.
Sadness will break your heart.
Depression will steal your life away.
while…
Joy will SET YOU FREE!
PASSION will make your life worth living.
Love will ground you to the earth and give you people and family and serenity
Happiness will be come a way of life
Peace will bring you enlightenment and wisdom
Fun will bring you Laughter, the best medicine known to man
Medium:
Short:
I help people feel better about themselves and their lives.
3.3.5
---
do testimonials with audio.
like MP did on: http://www.90dayproduct.com/
---
Hi Liz:
Here's the 10-item scoop on ND.
1. We guarantee you will be Happy with your results. (if you go thru the class
and hate it, money-back, no strings)
2. Like at Huge Group, we work on our issues and our feelings, head-on. We
don't just talk about them, we DO them. (with awesome results). It can get
scary sometimes, but I and the group will be there for you, spiritually, emotionally
and physically, to help you face it and Conquer it (best feeling in the world!).
3. We are the most loving, supportive, encouraging, safe, accepting, powerful,
wonderful, most Feeling group of people you may ever meet (biased opinion,
of course!).
4. With Doc's guidance and teachings, we have found some very Real ways to
help people feel better, permanently. It's a new way of life, a new way of
thinking, that can make profound, lasting changes in you and your relationships.
(we've been teaching this for 18 years now, so I KNOW it works.)
5. Once you spend a weekend with us as a Student, you become "Family".
You are then welcomed into our hearts and welcome back with open arms to any
future classes to help out (no charge).
6. Many choose to come back as a Student to ND a 2nd, 3rd and 4th time, some
do it once a year (my wife Paula and I have done it 8 times each over the years).
Either stuff builds up inside us, or as we grow we 'notice' more issues we'd
like to resolve. We call this Reviewing. It's half-price and it's wonderful.
7. We will ask for an agreement of confidentiality so what is said in the room
stays in the room (very important). If you then choose to share what you've
learned or write about your 'stuff' on this forum, that's your choice, but
we don't want anyone talking about other people's stuff without their permission.
8. You will be asked to sign a standard Limit of Liability agreement, that
you understand that this is an Educational experience, not therapy or a replacement
for therapy, you agree not to take any non-prescription drugs or alcohol during
the weekend and that you'll attend on Friday evening, all day Saturday and
all day Sunday (graduation is Sunday night -- much fun and rejoicing).
9. There's a Course Information Sheet (CIS) which we ask everyone to complete
before class. It's 4 pages and gives us (the instructors) a clearer picture
of who you are, how you were raised (your history) and how we can best help
you.
10. The class is about Feelings. We believe that knowing how to identify, accept
and express our Feelings is the Key to finding, or better yet, creating Happiness.
We believe in Personal Responsibility -- that we are in Control of our lives
and responsible for our behaviours and our results.
We insist on being Real at class. We will be Real with you and you be Real
with us, and we will be able to accomplish GREAT things together.
Here is the main site:
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
but better yet, don't take my word for it -- see what people are saying about
their experience with ND, even years later!
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
Here are the "sign-up" pages (with links to pay, download the CIS,
and other questions)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/order.htm
The next class in Fresno is March 11. Hope to meet you then! (Gay already told
me that she's excited about you coming, so I'm excited too!)
Are you in?
---
"
People don't resist change. They resist Being changed."
"If we don't feel like we have control, we feel like we're Being changed."
- KevinEikenberry.com
---
3.7.05 (after a weekend off)
Your Feelings controlling you, rather than you controlling them? Too much anger,
fear or depression? Want more Happy, Joy and Love? Learn simple, practical,
life-enhancing emotional tools that are completely FREE! We're life coaches
and we can show you how it's done...
3.2.05 (after speaking with MP)
Want Happiness? You must understand Your Feelings & Emotions!
Are your feelings a mess? Stuck in anger, fear or depression? Want to feel
Happy for a change? Learn simple, practical, life-enhancing emotional tools
that are completely FREE! We can show you how it's done…
and
WANT MORE?
Take Control of your Feelings,
Take Control of your LIFE!
Powerful, free lessons via Email.
Two new concepts per week.
and again: 2.28.05
Want Happiness? "Get a Grip" on your feelings & emotions!
Are your feelings a mess? Want to feel Happy for a change? Learn simple, practical,
life-enhancing tools that are completely FREE! After years of teaching this
stuff, I can show you how it's done. Come see.
now: 2.27.05
The key to Happiness is to be "in touch" with our Feelings and Emotions!
Want to get happy? Ready to feel better? Need to take control of your emotional
life? Learn tools that are incredibly powerful, life-changing & completely
FREE! I'm a personal life coach. I'll show you how it's done.
leftovers: We can't Heal what we can't FEEL! (not bad. gutsy. nice use of keywords.)
The key to Happiness is to get a grip on your Feelings & Emotions!
The Key to Happiness is to "Get a Grip" on your feelings & emotions!
was: 2.26.5
The Key to Happiness is understanding our Feelings & Emotions!
Do you control your Anger, Fear, Sadness & Depression, or do they control
you? Learn to control your feelings and Happiness is yours!! We'll show you
how (it's easier than you think!)
--- (whoops, I'm back again. oh well)
I really should get more programming work done.
but it feels so much like I'm 'bout ready to BURST onto the scene (well, get
more popular, anywayz).
I'm excited. But I'm also concerned about disappointing my current customers… 'cause
I surely don't want to do the work. but alas, I gotta. so quit whining and
get it over with. going...
---
I love Verdana. I'm so happy that it's one of the web standard fonts.
---
um, guess what?
I think we are going to be changing the world even more.
I think we are going to TRAINING Therapists. CEU Credits.
"
Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions"
Doc wants to persuade more therapists that Cognitive>Affective>Behavioral
Therapy- is the way to go.
I don't like how Therapy is often done. Not enough emphasis and training on
Feelings & Emotions… by DOING THEM… not just by talking About
them.
so i'm gonna help change that.
2.26.5
---
Face your shit and Deal with it
You wanna learn how to Feel, let's do it.
You wanna get rid of your Anger and Rage, then let's GET IT OUT!
We do some lecture, but mostly we get down and Work.
There is no 'spare time' over the weekend. I wish I had a WEEK to get these
thoughts thru to you.
but I don't.
I only have a weekend. Then you're gone, back to your life in the hood.
so I gotta CRAM a ton of learning into your system in just 2.5 days. Can it
be done?
see for yourself:
We have a bunch of testimonials (I didn't write them, they just keep comin'
in)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
and you gotta hear the way they Talk to each other in our online Group... the
way they support, and accept, and love each other
http://groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
What's the only thing they have in common?
Most have been thru New Directions and it has changed their lives! If you want
to know more, just ask any one of them, they're Happy to talk about it. In
fact, many LOVE talking about it... 'cause it's changed their lives!
---
my writing style is getting bolder.
but I need to keep my tone down a bit, to inspire Warmth and Safety, as well.
what if I wrote about ND all out?
I want to create a community where we rock.
what are we gonna talk about?
once we're through part of the learning, out of survival, and doing ok, doesn't
the continuous pursuit Bore me?
not really.
I still love talking about it.
Mostly, I think I'd like to talk about Bringing it to Market.
creating content
---
good at making IPs, but need some good content?
I want us to teach people about Feelings and Emotions. How to identify them,
how to control them, how to manage them to work FOR you, not against you. Feelings
are the engine that drives us. We may do what we can to the outside to make
it sportier and sexier, but the real driver is underneath the hood, our Feelings
and Emotions that carry us, that drive us crazy, that make life worth living!
We're talking about Attitudes, Intentions, Personal Belief Systems, Values,
Habits, Addictions, and Behaviours.
We're talking about re-arranging your internal makeup, from the ground up.
An emotional Make-over!
---
idea: send emails out to people (AR), specifically, pointing them to 1 post
and asking for comments
Hey Matt,
Finding Perfection is easy after things get hard. http://entreville.typepad.com/entreville/2005/02/finding_perfect.html
I look forward to reading your comments.
Ben
941.637.9077
---
As I read over it, I realized that it is exactly how my fantasy of our relationship
would look if everything was in balance.
The card has a picture of Charlie Brown on it. Around Charlie are little arrows
with words:
pointing at his ear: "Ready to listen"
pointing at his right shoulder: "Crying allowed here"
pointing at his left shoulder: "Good for leaning on"
pointing at his hand: "Will hold your hand"
pointing at his arm: "Available for hugs"
pointing at his leg: "Will always stand by you"
pointing at his foot: "Ready to go the extra mile"
pointing at his back: "Behind you all the way"
pointing at a space on the card: "I'm ALWAYS here is you need me"
This my opinion of how a Father should be for his child.
- AJ
---
NDers
------
Julie
Glynk
Doc
Karen
Steve/Cheryl
Dave
Carroll
---
frëe
---
Purposes of Doing the Statement
at New Directions
1. As a diagnostic tool to find out where students are ‘stuck’
2. Areas of concern, or problems, are pointed out by words in the Statement
3. To become aware that feelings can be expressed at 100%
4. Increase ability to adjust feelings, as appropriate
5. Chance to feel each feeling; to give greater awareness of shifts in the
body that occur with each new feeling
6. To teach students that they have control of their feelings, rather than
the feelings having control over them
7. Learn patterns and behaviors that cause students to victimize themselves
8. Experience the full range of feelings, and practice those which are uncomfortable
or unknown
9. Open the way for students to become aware of each other and to share in
each others’ process
10. Experience being fully listened to, in sound, intonation, content and context,
in order to feel cared for and loved
11. Provide an opportunity for instructors to be able to view, analyze and
connect with students on an individual basis
12. As a tool to provide feedback concerning communication with others, including:
congruency, connection, vocalization, body language, eye contact and aliveness
---
posted 3/17/05
http://www.newdirectionsworkshop.com/subscribethanks.htm
The weekend seminar that will Rock your World - The New Directions Healin'
and Feelin' Workshop.
New Directions is a crash course in "How to Feel". Both teens and
adults will experience an amazing transformation as they go through the 5 Steps
to a Happier You. If you want to feel "more" or you want to feel "better",
New Directions can help you "to the core" so you'll enjoy tremendous,
lasting growth in 1 short weekend.
During the weekend
You won't be alone (we're all in it together, including the instructors) but
you won't get lost in the crowd either. We keep the groups small (24 students
max) so that each person receives personal attention and exactly the kind of
support and guidance needed at that time.
Through the use of some lecture, two visualizations, and a series of intensive
large & small group exercises, the classes teaches you how Feelings work,
what makes people tick, and how we got to be the person we are today. You'll
come away feeling like you have more Choices in how you wish to live your life
from this day forward. You'll be able to identify what feeling(s) your body
is feeling, accept yourself and your feelings, and you'll have the practical
tools you need to release and replace negative feelings with positive ones.
\
We turn Anger into Love, Sadness into Joy, and Depression into Personal Power.
Results include:
Better communication skills
Powerful, not wimpy. Strong and tough, without being Cold. With personal Boundaries
and the strength and tools to uphold them.
Heightened Self-Awareness
Awareness alone can change your life for the better. Doc Downing's concepts
are ground-breaking and profound, and his textbook "Taking Control of
Your Life" is included with the class. Even if you've been "aware" for
some time now, I guarantee you haven't heard most of Doc's concepts. But once
you hear them, you'll wonder why you didn't think of them yourself. They are
simple, elegant and best of all, they WORK!
examples:
"Depression is Anger turned Inward."
"When we feel Guilty, we'll set ourselves up to be Punished."
"Negative emotions, expressed verbally as intensely as they are Felt, will
subside and are free to Change"
"Everything is your fault… if you're lucky." (because then you
have some control)
Acceptance and Forgiveness, of yourself and others.
Got some old grudges still eating at you? Still angry toward someone from your
childhood? We'll help you deal with your past, no matter what happened to you.
As a child we really are a victim. As an adult, we can choose to deal with
our pain, resolve old hurts and dissappointments, and then let it all go, not
stuffed, but cleansed.
Best of all, you'll be able to Feel, really FEEL - Feel Loved, Feel Happy,
Feel Connected, Feel Safe, Feel a Part of (not alone).
Once safety and trust are established, you can experience an Acceptance and
understanding of people (including ourselves) that is so freeing, healing and
validating. No games, no hidden agendas, no competition, just connection, sharing
and acceptance. (it's my favorite thing about class -- feeling Safe and Ok
-- like I always wanted my family of origin to be).
Text, lessons and ongoing support included.
After the weekend, you will have the ability to form close intimate relationships.
With your new emotional toolbox, you'll have improved self-esteem, closer relationships,
enhanced strength of character, and an ability to understand people like never
before.
What People Say
Don't just take my advice (though teaching this workshop for over 18 years
has made a HUGE, HUGE difference in my life), see what Graduates got out of
the class on the WhatPeopleSay page. Some of these testimonials were given
right after their class, while others were still glowing 10-15 years later.
The results are undeniable.
Here's a sobering thought:
Every dollar you have ever made,
and every dollar you will ever make,
is based on a Relationship with someone.
Success is not the key to Happiness. Happiness is the key to Success.
---
New Directions Weekend Workshops - Our life-changing personal growth seminar
that will Rock your World! With over 2,000 happier graduates over 18 years
now, you can make HUGE strides in your growth in 1 short weekend. Heal and
Feel. Live and Love. Rock and Roll
---
New Directions Weekend Workshops are life-changing personal growth seminars
for teens and adults. Through some lecture and a series of intensive exercises
and sharing, people are able to learn practical tools to identify, accept and
express their feelings and emotions in positive ways. Results include improved
communication skills, self-awareness and self-acceptance, and the ability to
form close intimate relationships. Text, lessons and ongoing support included.
---
- Matt
(916) 599-8597
mailto:matt@2gethelp.com
http://www.MattPerelstein.com
The weekend that will improve your life forever:
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm Graduates share their
stories and their rejuvination!
How to’s, lessons and writings:
http://www.TakingControlOfYourFeelings.com
The gang's all here! We go online to support each other to heal and grow:
http://Groups.msn.com/2GetHelp
---
what if I wrote like a reporter or announcer!
"
and here's LJ, getting in touch with her Anger:"
"
here's Gay give some nice, loving support to sad Ken."
---
Happy / Happiness!!
Good words, used a lot!
Fun, light, energetic
gotta do a Happiness test, so we can Pass it!
and others may not.
---
Do you control your Anger, Fear, Sadness & Depression, or do they control
you?
Learn to control your feelings and Happiness is yours!! We'll show you how
(it's easier than you think).
2.14.5
To find Happiness, we MUST understand our Feelings & Emotions!
Happiness is here! You must understand your Feelings & Emotions. (2.9)
Want Happiness? Get free how-to's via email.
Do you control your Anger, Fear, Sadness & Depression, or do they control
you?!? -
Understand your feelings and your life will improve dramatically! Learn How
Here.
3.20.05
How to get Happy!<br>Free lessons via email.
How to feel Happy! Free lessons via email.
<
Subscribe>
Sick & Tired of<br>feeling Sick & Tired?<br>TAKE CONTROL
OF YOUR FEELINGS!</strong><br>We'll teach you how.<br>Free
eBook plus simple, powerful<br>lessons via email.<
---
we give motivational seminars (not workshops)
according to overture, people more associate "seminars" with more
touchy-feely motivational, self-help, stress, etc. while "workshops" are
drier, like Art, puppet
---
Keywords
relationship (2.2M!) (4.21.05)
depression (416,000)
marriage (136,000) marriage counseling (38,000)
stress (97,000), stress relief, stress management
self help (107,000)
pain (85,000)
couple (72,000)
107426 self help
12318 self help book
1290 self help group
1269 depression self help
emotion (70,000)
156394 help
107426 self help
express (15,000), expression (15,000)
13332 growth
5962 personal growth
4653 professional growth
learn (28,000), learn english (4M)
171926 training
130034 career training
78555 online training
60973 management training
53913 training and development
happy, happiness (20,000)
feel (20,000) look feel (200,000?), feeling (6,000)
success (20,000)
anger (20,000), anger management (41,000), upside of anger (25,000)
sad (24,000), sad poem (47,000)
hurt (20,000), love hurts (64,000)
guilt (3,000)
after Overture research (2.6.05)
discipline, feeling this blink 182, success, success quote, success story,
my happy ending, happy new year, happy birthday, happy face, parental control,
remote control, out of control, weight control, welcome control, personal
power, the power of love, girl power, anger management, anger, anger control,
anger quote, controlling anger, dealing with anger, anger problem, angry
kid, angry, angry troops, angry face, angry man, angry all the time, 12 angry
man, sad, sad song, sad love poem, sad quote, sad story, sad girl, sadness,
enigma sadness, sorrow, sorrow poem, depression, manic depression, symptom
of depression, clinical depression, sign of depression, teen depression,
depression treatment, anxiety depression, depression quiz, depressed, depressed
quote, joy, joy to the world, pride and joy, the joy luck club, sex (7.8M),
sexy, pain relief, stress relief, stress, stress test, stress symptom, stress
management, reduce stress, victim, all to blame, we re all to blame, were
all to blame, msn emotions, emotions for msn, emotion, community, support
group, emotional intelligence, emotional, seminar
---
self-discipline, www.PositiveDiscipline.com (Dr. Jane Nelsen)
---
Actually, we don't DO much to you... we more listen, and support, and guide,
and encourage. The concept is that we are all born pretty Happy and powerful
and Alive (like the little kiddos) but that hard times and pain and unexpressed
emotions weigh us down over time. To get back the feeling of joy and freedom
we had as a child, "all we have to do" is get rid of the yucky feelings
and they will NATURALLY be replaced with positive ones! (it works.)
It's the most loving, uplifting, safe, supportive environment around and the opportunity for healing is phenomenal. As I said, you will learn things about your innerds -- your feelings and emotions, your beliefs, your values, your attitudes -- that you were totally unaware of (and therefore couldn't make decisions about). We find that things we learned and decided as children can be unconsciously still controlling our lives to this day. Once we are aware, and fully in touch with our feelings, we can make Conscious decisions about how we want to live our lives, from this day forward.
Great stuff! (as you can hear, I'm jazzed about the whole thing... and so
are many others. See the following link for what Real people (other than me!)
say about their experience.)
http://www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com/whatpeoplesay.htm
---
Good Signup process: www.constantcontact.com
1. Sign-up here and receive the following downloads (.PDFs), check those you
wish to receive
2. Next page shows links to those checked.
7 .pdfs, with signup fields listed vertically down right side of every page
(no left NAV)
Flash-based Tour:
Title page, with TofC links
Benefit, benefit, benefit
<-previous next ->
8 pages, end with Sign Up Now!
Email Marketing 101 Webinar (audio)
A 22-minute presentation on the fundamentals of email marketing, available
on-demand.
Very clear that there is only 1 purpose of this site, to sign you up. Gives
plenty of info and benefits, but all toward 1 end.
Success Stories: Intro page with 1 featured quote and picture, with links to
12 more success stories.
sales wording, all Verbs: let, add, see, learn, take, confirm, download, email,
questions?
---
SENT TO GAY 2.2.5
---
We have a double sale here...
1. They don't understand how powerful and life-changing it will be to be in
control of their Feelings and Emotions
2. They don't know that this mysterious subject could be taught so completely
in a weekend workshop.
Our challenge is to show them what's possible, in an enticing way. We could
be fun, challenging, envigorating, passionate, sexy, alive, loving, intimate,
extreme.
---
Extreme Emotions
Fantastic Feelings
---
some people tell themselves they are Happy, even if they're not.
some even try to Prove it to themselves, in interesting ways.
but there might exist a bit of a stigma about that word Happy.
but it's still the right word to use.
actually, they are Happy as they are comfortable-ness
if someone has a lower rating of Self Esteem, that's the Highest rating of Happiness will be.
Shame is a pain, a constant draw/drain of energy
proud is an energy, an up-lifting, encouraging, from light breeze or power
storm
shame is a different energy, darker, heavier, vicisiously
I want to teach people, 1-1.
how to do this stuff.
I get in the classroom and it all just flows out of me. s or no.
I wish it were better organized.
have Sharon do it.
I'm bored with saying the same thing. oh, actually I hardly Ever say the same
thing.
I'd rather stammer and flail than say the same thing twice, in the same way.
wow, that feels really strong. a self-rebellion.
feels like I'd get Stuck somehow, sentenced to stay that way forever.
it's a fear-based control thing.
I hope I can get the Materials created to teach this stuff for real.
to real numbers of people.
(while I'm so motivated to do so)
I know it's up to me, but I still hope that I don't start burning out.
---
How about doing it for free to $25
---
p, watch Rhonda… that's what's happening to you.
- Matt
---
K.A.E.R.R. :: The 5 Steps to Healing and Feeling
1. Know what you Feel.
2. Accept those Feelings are real, and they are the essense of YOU.
3. Express them in positive ways - some soft, some LOUD - few weak, very Strong.
4. Release the negative feelings that have been inside your body for so long.
5. Replace the negatives with positives.
turn your Feelings
sad, depressed, angry - into Happy, Peaceful and LOVEing
and your Thoughts
shoulds, judgments & attitudes - into Wants, Goals and PASSIONs
from Negative to Positive
Same with Feelings and Thoughts.
If you have yucky Feelings, we want to Replace them with good, right?
Replace Sadness with Joy
Anger with Love
and Depression with Personal Power.
whoa.
1. When a baby get hold of something that they're not supposed to have, you don't Yank the thing away from them and tell them NO -- or you're guaranteed to get screaming and hollerin', right? But if you can get the thing away from the baby and immediately Replace it with something they Can have, you'll get much better cooperation. Do a quick switcher-o and they hardly even notice, as their attention immediately focuses on the new object. Replacement Theory.
2. We all have Shoulds and Judgments and Why's. Rather than saying "Don't Should on yourself" (behaviour reduction), say "Replace 'I Shoulds' with 'I Will' or 'I will not'". I should mow the grass (sets up resentment)… I will mow the grass (powerful, non-victim statement)
3.
---
I'm smiling as big as my face will let me!
---
I'm a behaviouralist.
I don't analyze
I start with the Feelings,
go back to the Meaning behind the feeling
and find that the Behaviours all make sense.
Now express the pent-up Feelings,
allow the Meanings to change, from - to +
and wham, the Behaviours will Change!
I'd bet I could work with a team, as their Team Coach
go into the team, meet with them. work with them.
I wouldn't go sit in an office somewhere.
Doug, need any teams made better for the season?
studies show that just the fact that you are doing something to improve teamwork,
the teamwork will immediately improve!
make sure they know that you care.
that you will be involved, as well
that you are doing this as a Benefit, a Service, for them.
all must participate for it to work.
---
Tour:
1. What it's about
2. Theories and Attitudes
3. Privacy and Safety
4. What's Possible!
5. Get Results
a testimonial on every page?
with a picture of each person, maybe huggin', maybe in the tunnel
Gay
Shaunna
Karen
Bill
LJ
…
Nice Tour example:
but, make Slide buttons links
and have a Previous button (smaller)
Continue or Next in upper left, not lower
nice use of pics and minimal wording per slide.
http://www.varatouch.com/technologyPresentation.html
---
you know what messes me up sometimes?
when I see how others have done it, first.
like the newsletter
or some ads
or a flyer
I see others, and that makes pictures in my head.
I then Limit my thoughts to stuff that would fit into Other people's pictures.
I can easily justify it by saying that I am looking at what works, before jumping
in and making the same mistakes these people have made.
I fight that ads and marketing are so often limited thinking.
it's all about Attitude.
and Beliefs.
and Knowing yourself.
and knowing where your power comes from, and how to weild it
sick of feeling like a Wimp?
tired of being a Victim to your life?
are you ready to stop your Feelings & Emotions from controlling you?
are you Sick and Tired of being sick and tired?
we're not looking for Nice people. We're looking for Real people.
are you in?
We're looking for people.
We're looking for the right people.
The people we Want to hang out with.
Real people. Honest people. Fun people.
you might party a bit. that's cool… as long as You're in control of
it.
you might not do everything you Should do… that's fine… as long
as you Know you're doing it
Conscious people.
Aware people.
semi-pissed people.
like us.
I'll put it right out there.
Here's us. You decide
the problem is that I am trying to say it the way they can hear it.
- Matt
---
Control your Feelings, Control Your LIFE! 1.13.5 02:51
Do you control your Feelings or do they control you?!? -
Get a grip on your feelings and your life will improve, dramatically! Learn
How Here.
---
Don’t ask, "what's cool?" they
Ask, "What would be cool?" me
There's such an important distinction between Selfishness and Selfcenteredness
Selfish: according to MS Encarta
1. looking after own desires
concerned with your own interests, needs, and wishes while ignoring those of
others
2. demonstrating selfishness
showing that personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than
those of other people
Synonyms:
self-centered
self-seeking
self-interested
egotistical
egotistic
egocentric
Antonym:
altruistic
---
"
Ya don't know, until ya know. Ya know?"
- Crush Dude, Finding Nemo
---
do automatic RSS newsfeed with specific terms
taking control feelings
taking control emotions
feelings emotions
matt perelstein
---
what's a 4-letter word that starts with F
people want it so bad, they'd sit in line for hours to get it
they'd drive great distances to have some
they have dreams about it
some people get wet thinking about it
it's the emblem of the new marketing world
it's the only sure way to get people's attention anymore
it's a you-give-first attitude that's prevailing the current marketplace
the 4-letter word?
free
---
the generational lines are blurring, as the internet Equalizes things.
---
title: How To Improve your Site by Using Stats and Referrers in Typepad
exercpt: Want better search engine rankings? Find out where your readers come
from by leveraging Typepad's powerful Stats and Referrers feature. Here's how
I do it.
categories: Blog Tools and Tips, Marketing and Promotion
---
I am always striving to see what people REALLY want to know... not just what
I think they want. To find out the real story, I frequent the Stats and Referrers
page of my Typepad account almost every day.
From there I can see where every hit came from in the last 24 hours. This information shows the web address that referred them to my site -- it could be another site (yay!), one of my sites, another Typepad site that I've never heard of (remember, every time you post, your listing goes on hundreds of sites that have the Display New Blog Listings set to on). But the vast majority of my hits are from a Search Engine link. Within that link is the key to what my viewers really want to know, the words they typed to get my listing on Google, MSN, Yahoo! or others.
Let's say the Referring Address looks like this <a href="http://www.google.rw/search?hl=en&q=how
to control feelings">www.google.com/search</a>. In this case,
the link reads:
<
strong>http://www.google.rw/search?hl=en&q=how to control feelings</strong>
If you have View -> Status Bar on in IE, and you hover over the link, you can see the link's real address. Look at the bottom of the page and you'll see what the person Actually typed in to get to your page. Another option: Right-click on the link , choose Copy Shortcut, and then paste it somewhere and save it.
This way, you can see exactly what the google-searcher typed in: "<em>how to control feelings</em>".
If you then left click on the link, <strong>you can see EXACTLY what
your viewer saw on Google </strong>.
I look for:
- What showed up on the Search Engine about the site
- How the Title and Description look and read
- What rank my site was on the page (#1 in this example, woohoo!).
- Tons of other sites about very similar subjects.
(they could be competition, which you need to know about, or they could be
most informative resources for you)
I love this feature, but I sure wish Typepad kept my history of referrers and let me download them or something. I've asked both their support folks and supervisors, and they all say, 'Maybe someday' (do other services provide this?). Since Typepad nukes this valuable information every 24 hours, I often copy and paste the links on the entire Stats and Referrer page, 20 at a time, and paste 'em into an email message that I append to and save, over and over.
Anyway, if you want to <strong>know your people and where they are coming from </strong>(literally and figuratively), your Stats and Referrers page can give a wealth of information -- try it!
http://desktop.google.com/
p.s - Since I have also downloaded and installed Google Desktop loaded on my
PC, the Google search page showed me that I have "1,429 results stored
on your computer", in the form of emails, Word docs, text files, etc.
- another very powerful tool!
---
Good NDW ideas!
put audio testimonials on
put a few web addresses or phone numbers that people can call to actually Talk
to one of our Assistants.
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your LIFE!!
Do you Understand and Control your Feelings & Emotions? -- or do They
control YOU?!?
Learn Here How to manage your feelings and SUCCEED in LIFE!!
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your LIFE!!
Can you understand and control your Feelings & Emotions?
Learn How Here.
Manage your Feelings, SUCCEED in LIFE!
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your LIFE!!
Do you control your Feelings or do they control you?!? -
Get control, feel better and LIVE! Learn How Here.
---
Take control of your Feelings, take Control of your LIFE!!
Do you control your FEELINGS or do they Control you?!? -
Learn How.
Awareness, Identification & Expression.
Click here.
---
Domain mapping instructions!
http://help.typepad.com/panel/site_access.html#setting_up_domain_mapping
---
Do you control your Feelings? Or do they control you?!? -
Understand & manage your Feelings & Emotions. We'll teach you how.
Click here.
---
what's the #1 most provacative statement you can make to your niche marketplace?
Sexier: 1.7.5 11:55p
Do you control your Feelings? Or do your feelings Control you?!? -
Get a clue. I'll show you how! Click here.
"You can't Heal what you can't Feel"
Dry
This site teaches adults how to manage anger, calm fears, and release sadness
and guilt. Over 200 blog-style postings provide links to free/fee-based workshops,
life coaching and educational materials.
---
Prospecting
which train do you want to go on:
Northbound - interested, but not money
Southbound - not and not
Westbound - no interest, but money
Eastbound - interest and resources
---
Unhappiness = not feeling the way you want to feel.
---
Articles to write
How to Feel
How to change your Anger into Love
How to change your Sadness into Joy
How to change your Depression into Personal Power
How to Feel ALIVE!
The first step, in all of these, is to Allow Your Feelings!
---
PR: Emotional Support Help comes back to Sac!
I finish things that people will put to use immediately
it's not just about them giving me a deadline, esp. an artificial one
it's about them Using what I did, Depending on me (at least a little), Waiting
for me
---
oh.
Why you look so sad?
the tears are in your eyes
come on and come to me, now
don't
be ashamed to cry
let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side, too.
when the night falls on you
don't know what to do
nothing you'd confess
can make me love you less.
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.
so,
If your mad, get mad!
Don't hold it all inside
come on and talk to me, now
afraid
what you got to hide
I get angry too.
well I'm a lot like you.
when you're standing at the crossroads
don't know which path to choose
let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.
take me into to your darkest hour
I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
and when
when the night falls on you, baby
you're feeling all alone
walking on your own.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you!
take me into your darkest hour
I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you.
won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.
...on and on…
I'll stand by you.
- "I'll Stand by You" The Pretenders, Last of the Independents album
---
FOCUS!
it's not funny
and it's not always fun
do it anyway.
do what Needs to be done
not just what you Feel like doing.
Set boundaries and goals and Focus
make a plan and work the plan
this has been an awesome time for PKP and I to just Be.
a time to heal, I hope.
and to grow.
we both had (/have) some growing up to do.
People can't get behind me, if they don't know which way I'm facing.
I continue to be baffled at how few people take us up on what we have to offer.
I don't understand how, when people have gotten what they've gotten from ND,
who say it has Totally changed their Life Experience for the better, and they
are forever grateful… and they even know that the more they come back,
the better they'll feel (and it's friggin' Free, for goodness sakes!)… WHAT
is it that scares people so much? or puts them off?
If they come to class, they thank us.
If they come Back to Assist others, they thank us.
If they come back and Review the class (take it again), they thank us.
profusely and continuously
People say that the #1 most important and life-changing thing they've EVER
done in their lives, was to take ND.
(wtf, o?!?)
so where are they?
where are their parents, and friends, and kids?
why aren't they telling everyone they know?
why aren't they singing our praises from the rooftops?
(why aren't I, too?)
or better yet
How can I do it Better.
I'm ready to Yell.
I'm ready to tell people, in no uncertain terms, that ND Will Change Their
Life
in 1 weekend.
everytime (well, almost)
guarenteed (or your money back).
Ok, I'll say that.
I'll start screaming it.
but I have to scream "I", too!
send the post
be real
ask for help, again
you've gotten some good responses before
some were close to being successful Strategic Alliances
(don't need to 'read' the book, if I can make it happen anyway -- got the idea)
Strategic Alliances
in Sacramento
who?
make appts for next week
go there.
have Rachel stay at KC's
get Sac phone book
look on www.SacramentoMidtown.com
talk to Cliff, Scott, Julia, Aine,
dude, this stuff Works, so we gotta tell people!
I'm not shitting you… in 1 weekend, you WILL FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR LIFE!
even people who don't come through the class with HUGE lightbulb,
People go from SHUT DOWN --> FEELING
people go from DOWN & DEPRESSED --> HOPEFUL and ALIVE
people go from ANGRY & BITTER & RAGEFUL --> UNDERSTANDING, COMPASSIONATE & GENTLE
we've seen it over and over again.
Once people are able to BLAST OUT their yucky Feelings & Pictures (emotional, right brain)
+
add a better understanding of HOW FEELINGS WORK, where they Come From, how to Relieve them (logical, left brain)
=
Allowing, accepting, identifying, understanding, expressing, honoring, learning, Feeling, LIVING!
damn, dude, what have you got to lose?
What if you only achieve 1/2 of what I'm claiming?
what are you out?
Be different. Stand out. Make it so. Be brave.
I don't think I'm doing my job, if you don't think the money was worth it!
If after you take the class, you only believe you got $199 worth of value
from it, I will refund you the other $200.
If you thought it sucked altogether, and you didn’t learn a thing, then
I don't deserve your money. I'll return it.
BELIEVE dude.
Believe you are doing the right thing, then go out and YELL IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!
make a stand.
decide who you are, specifically, write it down ("Write On!") and
let 'em know.
why? because it's right.
because it's my destiny.
You have seen TOO MANY people have the same experience over 17 YEARS -- that's
a LOT.
check the damned Testimonials. they don't lie. I didn't ask those people to
say those things… I asked a few of them what they thought, but I didn't
put those words in their mouths… they did that. Voluntarily. 'cause it's
real, for them. they just talked about their own opinions, experiences and
feelings (none of which are every debatible) (which is also one of the #1 main
points of the class, so Yahoo, they got it!)
NDers don't blame
NDers don't whine
NDers get pissed
NDers cry
NDers are in control of their feelings and emotions
NDers are in control of their lives!
NDers are the happiest, most aware group of people I've ever met!
Personal Responsibility is the Key!
"
Everything is your fault…
if you're Lucky."
- Doc Downing
"If it ain't your fault, there ain't nothing you can do about it!"
- matt's corolary
do the Tour!
I'm the host, but Doc is above me, and so are therapists and others professionals.
serve
just cause they're pros, doesn't mean they have a clue how to do their Feelings.
I'm just a lowly servant, trying to spread the word and make a buck.
I don't need that much.
we gotta pay for our home (1st and always), the motorhome, some monthlys, the
help and the expenses of the class… but not much more.
not yet.
I believe this is going to catch on so incredibly we’ll soon be able
to do what Thomas did with CoachVille.
He made so much money in the first 3 years ($5M) that he made the site completely
Free from then on.
with more people and more money, we'll be able to help more people
we'll be able to do more
You could run your Life very well, and not have a Clue about what you're Feeling,
or what to do about your Emotions and Moods.
You Life could be a mess, but you could be extremely Happy.
List your favorite Feeling song.
Where were You (when the world stopped turning), Alan Jackson
Love can Build a Bridge, The Judds
We Are the World,
Unconditional Love, Donna Summer
Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it? Heavy D & the Boyz,
MTV Party to Go CD
---
Write up the coaching program
go to Chiros and others with a Partnership proposal.
how can we help you?
if someone goes thru class, $59
if someone signs up for monthly coaching, $29/month
if someone buys the 3-month package, $179
find salepeople who already sell to these folks
call and ask if I can send them an email (so it's not Spam)
do an Email campaign to each of those listed
if no email listed, call 'em.
maybe it could help you or your staff or your patients… and maybe not.
this could be a cool Resource for you to help your clients
and it could even be a Money-maker for you, as well.
May I send you and email then.
I got your number from SMT.com and I have your email as __
Thanks for your time. Expect an email in the next ___ from New Directions Workshop.
take care.
- Matt
Resource to help you help your clients
Call Tim G. for a testimonial!
done, 1.4.5
---
so you've been sitting here, on your ass, for over 2 years now.
and what do you have to show for it?
better at internet
but
better project manager
calmer
more organized
more professional (in most cases)
still a juggler.
still a sheister
have some TCOYF stuff done
but nothing really to show for it.
Top things I could do
PR on TCOYF
coaching
coaching "program"
talk to folks in bulk
coaching chapter in Sac
therapy orgs
other organizations
ART - 4 sessions so far
Jenn and Shawn paid $1500
Michele paid $750
Gay paid $50
yippee
FOCUS!
it's not funny
and it's not always fun
do it anyway.
do what Needs to be done
not just what you Feel like doing.
Set boundaries and goals and Focus
make a plan and work the plan
this has been an awesome time for PKP and I to just Be.
a time to heal, I hope.
and to grow.
we both had (/have) some growing up to do.
I'm still not clear about the me vs. them Focus.
that's been one of my biggest challenges.
(at least I'm aware of it now. and doing better at it, too)
How much is me?
Who is me?
what do I share?
who gives a damn?
why should I?
I busy with stuff that matters, you know.
TCOYF&E eBook
ND coaching program
goto Orgs and announce it.
we're not perfect… heck, we're all over weight, almost every one.
interesting.
I'd say that Most of the people in ND are a bit, to a bunch, over weight.
hmmm..
a few exceptions, but most of the core group.
so, let’s Spin that.
we're not perfect.
but we're mighty Happy!
We can control and manage our feelings, our behaviours, our mouths, our energy
our attitude
our responsibilities
1. I want to Feel:
2. My attitude about this Situation will be:
3. What I choose to learn about this is:
4. Yep, I'm afraid of __, __, & ___.
Now I get to decide which, if any, I am going to let influence my behaviour.
I know the object of my fears, how intense they are, whether I am in a life-threatening,
or potentially life-threatening situation, whether my Fears are trying to actually
Stop me, Warn me or just Let me Know that I'm on new ground here.
If I'm don't spend at least part of my day Afraid, that means I'm getting to
comfortable and soft.
Every day I challenge myself to do something I'm uncomfortable about doing.
---
my really good stuff… I haven't written yet.
I probably need to release everything I had written.
You know why I gave up so easily the other day? 'cause I don't really have a plan for how I'm going to put all this into fruition.
TCOYF
TCOYL
textbook
workbook
website of teachings
workshop
coaching
schedule ART in Sac.
If you want Paula, you gotta go to ART.
make her more mystic.
create some buzz around the Jan. 13 event.
make it sexy
make it fun
come Back to Sac in a BIG way!
get the grads talking about it.
do something Big, or out of the ordinary!
ideas?
ART is 4 weekends over a year, 3 in Sacramento, 1 in Fort Bragg.
Fort Bragg event, all ART classes come at once
tents and outdoor cooking
even a Band on Saturday night
late Spring or early Fall
$399/weekend x 4 = $1,596 Get all 4 at once for $987, plus a free ND certificate
($399 value)
(commission $179)
Anyone who refers someone to ND will get the commission!!
that's what Thomas did with CoachVille.
it was $79 to join, and whoever referred you got a check for Half of it (everyone)
$39.50
so people were paying to Advertise CoachVille, out of their own pockets
I did too. Just when Thomas decided he'd made enough money ($5M) and CoachVille
was officially FREE from then on. (I have the original R&D emails when
he started thinking about it, wrote a post or two about the idea and then wham,
it was done.
give away tons of great, original, money-making stuff, for Free from now on.
and the money-back is less commission.
make it obvious.
scream it out.
We're an incredibly effective, reasonably priced
when you refer someone to ND
and get your tuition BACK.
Anytime after the class, you will be paid $179 for anyone you refer to ND.
everyone.
If you refuse the commission, the $179 will be added to the ND Scholarship
Fund to help pay for those who need some help.
a 16-page document warrants an Outline or Table of Contents.
I suggest finding a link for
---
I guess I needed to get this off my chest. Helps to write it down. stops the
swirling, sometimes.
---
Every limiting thought becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's true because
you say it's true. And if you don't question your thoughts, they will continue
to control your destiny.
The technique called "The Work" that I learned from Byron Katie and have used with surprising (and almost immediate) results works as follows:
---
The insidious thing about limiting thoughts is that we don't really think them.
They think us. That is, we identify with them so completely that they become
the gospel truth to us - even as they undermine our best intentions in life
and in work.
First, write down a limiting thought like the ones I've listed above. Then ask the following four questions, writing down your answers. Do it slowly, really pondering before you give an answer:
1. Is this thought true? (Or is it just a thought you've attached
to?)
2. (If yes, or not sure) Can I absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do I react when I think that thought?
Make a long list of your actions, behavior feelings and other thoughts that
arise in the wake of the original thought.
4. Who would I be without that thought?
If you were facing a marketing challenge, such as writing an article, and you
simply could not have the thought, "I'm not a good marketing writer" how
would things be different?
Finally, turn the thought around.
That is, state the limiting thought in reverse: "I am a good marketing
writer." And then ask yourself if that new statement is just as true or
truer than the original. You may be surprised by your answer.
---
Top 10 Reasons to come to New Directions in 2005.
10. Make a commitment to change your life for the better
9. Become aware of what you are feeling, and why
8. Get in touch with your feelings and emotions
7. You could significantly help another person heal
6. Become a nicer, more understanding person
5. Learn relationship and communication Boundaries
4. Clean-up past feelings that are still haunting you.
3. Find your Personal Power, your Courage and your Joy
2. Release pain, anger, sadness and depression
...and the very Best reason to take ND in 2005…
1. Control Your Feelings, Control Your LIFE!!
---
GREAT ARTICLE!
Research and theory on emotions has waxed and waned over the history of psychology.
The behavior revolution inspired by B. F. Skinner and the subsequent cognitive
revolution saw interest in emotion seriously undermined. However, beginning
in the 1980s and accelerating into the present, interest in emotions has enjoyed
a robust resurgence across a wide range of subdisciplines within psychology,
neuroscience, and the health sciences-especially the renewed focus on positive
psychology, well-being, and mind/body medicine.
http://www.eiconsortium.org/research/ei_issues_and_common_misunderstandings.htm
---
http://www.webstrategies.cc/emotional_intelligence_test.htm
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN EQ IS LOW?
Low EQ is expensive in terms of lost money, opportunity, time, relationships,
promotions, careers, projects, goals, accomplishments, self-esteem, marriages,
physical and emotional health, and even life. The good news is that there is
no need to have low EQ. EQ can be learned and improved over a lifetime and
you can start right away, no matter how old you are.
These are some of the results of low EQ.
–
75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies.
–
70% of the reasons why customers and clients are lost are EQ-related.
–
50% of time wasted in business is due to lack of trust.
–
Seniors get worse in hospitals when the physical therapists don’t engage
with them.
–
Counseling clients fail to change because their counselors lack empathy or
optimism.
–
50% of marriages fail.
–
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for youths aged 15-24 in the US.
–
Think this is because of industrialized society? Think again. Samoa has the
highest suicide rate in the world.
–
Impulsive boys are three to six times as likely to be violent adolescents.
–
Low levels of empathy predict poor school performance.
–
Gifted children manifest a near “blindness” to social cues which
leads to isolated and sad childhoods.
–
Doctors with poor EQ skills get sued more.
–
75-90% of visits to primary care physicians in the US are due to stress-related
problems.
–
Pessimists live shorter, unhealthier, unhappier lives, and are less likely
to achieve their potential than optimists.
–
College students in a study with the same IQ and GPA who did not write down
their career goals with intentionality were 50% less successful 15 years later.
–
Perfectionism is potent. Perfectionists produce better work, get better grades
and get enormous positive feedback. Perfectionists also have a markedly higher
suicide rate.
---
New tag line (Weblog description) 11.28.04 (realized that this is what shows
on search engine pages)
Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions!
GET A GRIP ON YOUR LIFE by learning to control your Feelings & Emotions.
Turn your Anger to Love, Sadness to Joy, and Guilt, Grief & Depression
into Passion and Personal Power! Enjoy Tips, HowTos, Quotes, Research, Wisdom
and Humour. WE CHOOSE TO FEEL ALIVE -- Come join us...
---
"
I can't change your life, but if I can change the way you view your life, your
whole life is going to change."
"Men are happy when they are productive.
Women are productive when they are happy."
---
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!
Matt here, checkin' in.
complaint first (to get it out of the way)
I STILL don't get emails from this group any more.
much on my plate, hard to remember.
I guess I'll write to tech support (duh.)
(I've asked them about another little issue numerous times, so I've lost some
trust in them. will try again)
GOOD STUFF!
We have found the right man to grow New Directions! We used to live in Sacramento,
CA (my wife was born and raised there) and we did classes there for many
years (like 12). Then we moved off to the coast of No. CA (about 4 hours
away) and stopped doing classes there.
We've continued to do classes all along, but we had to travel to Fresno (about 7 hours away) because we had the awesome support of Doc and John (when we was CA-boy) and the therapy center there. There were times when they carried us, as Doc insisted that we were NOT going stop having ND -- it does too much good for people and we HAVE TO teach it.
so over the years, we've had wonderful people (1 at a time) step up to the plate to become our Enroller. There was conpensation, but that sure wouldn't justify the heart and soul you have to be willing to share with people in order to Enroll them -- we've found that the biggest obstacle we face is trying get people to Help Themselves! (astounding, really -- when I was a young man, totally lost and in pain, I was LOOKING for help -- when I found the class, I DID IT Immediately, hoping to never live another day in that much pain).
So we had class last weekend in Fresno (small class, many Reviewers, but awesome results) and who comes to Assist -- the best Enroller we've ever had, Dave McPhail. He and his wife Saundra came back to class after being away for some years. They both got a Ton out of the class last weekend, even as assistants, Dave's open to working with us, so WHAM, here we go!
With Dave's help, we're gonna setup an ND class in Sacramento in January! (28th) He already has a place for the class at the Suicide Hotline offices where he works. He's already got 2 people expressing interest.
The pieces all fit together just as soon as they were supposed to. Waiting is sometimes the key.
So off we Grow.
Perfect Validation for me that our teachings WORK.
People have been using them for years and they WORK!
ND Grads say they are HAPPIER than non-ND Grads.
Yahoo!
C-ya.
- Matt
---
Don't disguise brutality or revenge with "I'm just being Honest with you".
---
Please do not confuse expense with value.
We keep the price (expense) of the class low so many can afford it.
However, being able to take control of your life can be priceless (value)!
---
what if the person you are upset with had 2 broken legs… would it help
you Understand and Forgive their behaviours?
Maybe they DO have 2 broken parts: Self-Confidence and Self-Acceptance.
---
Make a list of different things we can learn from:
Movie quotes
Song words
...
---
Love you forever, and forever.
Love you with all my heart.
Love you when we’re together.
Love you when we're apart.
Make it easy to be near you.
and the things you do endear you to me.
- Alison Krauss
---
Andrea Lambert's 12 Promises (results from taking her Self-Awareness weekend)
http://www.12promises.com/12_Promises/12_promises.html
---
Control Your Feelings,
Control Your LIFE!!
---
The New Directions weekend really is a life-changer (and a good deal). For
$299, you get the weekend, Doc's book "Taking Control of Your Life",
a long weekend of intensive growth, a celebration graduation and after-class
follow-up -- plus, once a graduate, always a friend so coming back to help
new students is still free of charge, for life!
---
great sales letter home page:
https://www.asseenontvnetwork.com/vcc/esi/jayabraham2/122435/
note what fits on the screen.
---
I collect:
Blank Notepads
Matches
Playing Cards
Business Cards
Baseball Caps
Music
Cash
Coin
Tools?
---
Collecting vs. Accumulating
Dif between Collecting, with heart
quality, meaning, clean, nice, loving, pride, value, passion, slow, careful,
precious
then Accumulating
hoarding, grabbing, bogarting, taking, selfish, me-centered.
---
Self-Centered vs. Me-Centered
I know myself
I know that the best way to take care of myself, emotionally, is to be there
for others
to help people be happy, and learn, and grow.
We, us, together
FREE to be who we are, Safe, Open, loving, content, free, joy, laughter, connection,
healing, growth, heaven
If I'm being Me-Centered
I am thinking of me, separate from you
ME, Me, me
against, competing with, at odds with, in battle with, protecting myself from
you
who's in control of my life? I'm in prison.
I'm alone, and small, and vulnerable
it's hell
yuck.
---
If you have to pay someone to be your best friend, then friggin' Do It!
---
Self-processing.
Oh, yes, I do do that.
I do that a lot.
and I don't want to do that anymore.
so I won't.
---
We listen to our feelings, and they tell us what to do.
---
"
We've got one foot in the past,
and one foot in tomorrow.
and we’re Pissing on Today!
---
online strategies:
look at the links for those who came to your site via Search engines.
Click the link to recreate the Search page.
Find yourself.
What exactly brought them here?
What did the Search engine grab from your site, sentence fragments, Title,
address
Who else is on that page? There should be some orgs that could be pretty similar
to yours.
Are they competition? learn from them
Are they going in a similar direction? Is there a networking opportunity there?
Or it could be Research, that you can learn from and/or use.
I'm encouraged.
I believe now, that if I keep writing, they'll keep coming.
I have 20-50 people a day coming thru my front door.
that's a lot of potential sales!
what if I could turn 1 a day into a sale?
in the internet world, those are incredibly low numbers…
GREAT!
that means there's Plenty of room for improvement!
That's a good thing!
keep pluggin' away, dude. you'll get it.
"
Prepare, and someday your chance will come."
- Abe Lincoln
that's my life right now.
10-10-04
---
WRITE ON!!!
I am a writing advocate.
---
I like that people go to their church on Sunday morning during class.
Hopefully, they can integrate better.
and appreciate that God put them where they need to go.
---
If people don't want to come back to class, or don't come back to class (no
matter what they promise),
I haven't done my job.
It's not about selling them on selling others.
It's about selling them on helping themselves, to an broadened Extreme.
Help, and assist, and coach, and lead the ones we have.
The momentum will grow.
trust me.
---
"
When it's my moment in the sun, I won't forget that I am blessed."
- "Moment in the Sun"
The Ghost of Fashion (song)
---
Hey Patti, how'd you like to post the writings on-line?
It's very easy, I'll show you how.
Title
Category
Body
Keywords (optional)
We're getting a fair number of hits these days, growing daily.
We could organize 'em better later.
I have 114 articles posted. (now, on 3.17.05, there's 231, and over 10K hits!)
Another thing we need to add is ATTITUDE!
Our writing is still too TAME and Proper.
We gotta Say it like it is, or people won't listen.
There's lots of people out there being Nice.
Let's be Real, instead.
Be kind and loving and calm.
Cry when it hurts.
Scream when you need to!
Allow your body to "do what it needs to do".
Experience your Feelings, and then let them go.
and you will have the most amazing Life experience you can imagine.
and if you can imagine it, you can Make It Happen!
most anything you want, and set your mind to,
and are wise enough to know that you can't do it alone.
and you don't even want to do it alone.
In fact, that the POINT, is to NOT have to do it alone.
so, hey, some of my friends, and the people that help you a ton,
well, I gotta pay those folks or they won't spend the time with me.
they can't.
they're pros.
they're busy, powerful, successful people
who are Making their own lives happen.
and that's why I'm willing to pay them to help me.
I guarentee that I will make the money they cost me back 100x over!
heck, I pay that much for my car payment.
that's a helpful tool
that helps me get thru life smoother, faster, in more comfort.
I don't NEED the Car, I just want it to help me.
Wise men use a car.
Wise men also use a Coach or a Therapist.
be willing to get some support
be open to what we have learned.
We can make your life experience so dratically better for you, you will be Amazed.
You can't know it, until you FEEL it.
And you can't FEEL it without some Help.
Why is it that the more successful people are, the more likely they are to have a professional help?
they learn that getting help is a Good thing. A smart thing. A wise thing.
you know what, let us just give you a Glimpse of what it could be like for
you.
yes, it's only 1 short weekend.
you've been to weekends before.
you forget 90% of it a week later.
or is it some gimmick, where if you follow these hundreds of rules, to the
letter, for no money down, then you too can have fame and fortune.
nope.
nope we don't really "teach" all that much over the weekend.
you get a book (that's awesome), and a binder (with some more words of wisdom,
plus blank pages where people write their Thoughts, Feelings and AHA's)
but during the class, we don't do much "board-work."
It's not that kinda class.
It's like no other class you've ever been to.
you know what else? it's gonna suck, at times.
you are going to feel some yucky feelings. it's true.
maybe you can't take it.
maybe you're too afraid of your own fear to face it, head-on.
maybe you're one of those Macho Guys who tells himself that if their anger
ever came out, the whole world will explode.
(seriously, some people hold in their anger so they will NOT hurt or kill someone… that's
a very good thing… thank you for that)
maybe you're one of those "Nice Guys", who would "never be angry" at
our poor old mother who worked day and night to raise us.
(again, thanks for respecting her enough to be kind, and loving toward her.
But now it's time to get Real, too. You did NOT have an easy childhood, and
there were some people along the way, maybe my dad, or some other man in my
life, who Really PISSED ME OFF!
that anger has got to come Out of you.
it poisons you
and colors your thoughts
and forces you to Stop feeling, in order to bottle-up the Rage you've felt
all these years.
you haven't hurt anybody. yet. but it's still in there.
it will come out.
like shaking a can of carbonated soda… the pressue builds and Builds
and BUILDS Over time
and it Will start coming out.
maybe you let it off in little spurts.
like at your wife
or kids
or other drivers
or your co-workers, or boss (whoops!)
it Will come out, trust me.
you won't be able to contain it forever.
And here's the good news - - - YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO CONTAIN IT!
There's a better way.
It's Safe.
It's Clean.
It's Simple.
It's Effective.
It Works.
and it's friggin' FREE!!!
It's called Dealing with your Feelings!
It's called Living your Life Honestly, Openly and Bravely!
It's called Knowing Yourself, Who you Are, What you Feel and Where you Stand!
It's called Personal Growth.
It's called Coaching, and Therapy, and Workshops.
any idea why they're so popular?
What if you could only deal with 1 "issue" in a weekend. Just 1.
What if there were just 1 big thing in your life, that's been bothering you
on and off since childhood…
that feels so much better?
What if you got some Relief, and Peace, and Joy to add to the pain, misery
and disappointment you've experienced so far.
and What if you got to see, and feel, and create, without Drugs, or Alcohol,
or an Eating frenzy.
that was completely Free of charge, as much as you want, whenever you want.
Wow.
Wouldn't that be something?
wouldn't that be worth 1 weekend of your life and a few hundred bucks?
I think it has been. It works for me.
I'm one of the happiest people I've ever met.
and so are our graduates.
(Here's a bunch of incredible, life-changed Testimonials, mostly unsolicited
emails… I'm even amazed at what people have said about ND… damn!)
and yes, it's a bit expensive.
you wouldn't want to hire some bozo off the street who has advice and an opinion.
you want a pro.
so try it for an hour.
it will cost you a long-distance call.
Find out for yourself.
Pick up the phone, NOW!
Dial 1-866-__
"
Bang your head!
Mental health will drive you mad!"
- "Bang Your Head", Quiet Riot
- Matt
2 things about lack of articles here.
1. coaches don't feel very Safe on this list.
I personally have been Blasted a number of times, some little jabs disguised
as being helpful, but some all-out Slaps, as well.
This was some time ago and things change
but did you ever notice that NOBODY talks about how well they are doing, or
not doing, how much they charge, how much they make with clients.
big off-limits, no-no subject.
2. imho, one of the reasons this subject of what we Don't like was so popular
is because it's griping.
People love to her heard.
Maybe that's not for this list.
I
---
How about we make the NDW weekend workshop into a show on TV. A show where
people watch us processing people!
Taking them thru the Statement.
Helping them Break-thru their Feelings!
We'll film a regular class, but we'll focus on a couple of people each episode.
Apply
some get 15-minute phone interview with Matt
if good, Assessment with Doc
He approves them for stability and inclusion.
Do the Tunnel of Love, too.
be able to focus on what 1 person is saying, and block out everyone else.
many cameras on many faces at once. pick the best ones.
Feel Better - NOW!
Feel Better - FOREVER!
Take Control of your Feelings and Emotions!
Be a Happier, Healthier YOU!
New Directions is a life-changing, emotional training bookcamp that helps people FEEL better about themselves, their lives and their families and friends.
They learn practical tools like Boundaries and Personal Power and Commitment.
In a Fun, Uplifting, Fast-Paced workshop, Matt Perelstein has people COME ALIVE again.
Feeling their Personal Power
Facing their darkest Fears
Dealing with their Anger and Rage
Feeling their feelings as FULLY as they can.
You'll cry with them, you'll laugh with them, you'll get Angry at their abusers
right along WITH THEM. You'll be rooting for them, hollaring in your living
room. Moved to tears. And happy with Joy.
You'll want to hold them, you'll fall in love with them.
People who take this Intensive workshop are ready to get Down and Dirty with
their feelings.
Getting Real
very Real
painfully Real
angrily Real
but healing
and growing
and life-changing Real
The workshop teaches people to Take Control of their feelings and emotions by facing them head-on.
Participants (previously screened by a therapist and waivers in place) will
look at their past and their current "Issues" for all to see.
The facilitators will have them FACE their fears and angers by ACTING OUT what
they want to say to their abuser/perpetrator/abandoner and SAY IT and they
hit (pillows, held by Matt or other participants), and they scratch, and they
kick, and they scream some more -- and then, when all the hatred is gone --
they weap. Folks often fall to the ground with relief, and satisfaction, and
renewal.
It's the most healing experience you'll ever witness. Releasing the pain, the anger, the hatred, and then WHAM, th energy is spent, the lid is blown off and the pain is released, sometimes never to return.
It’s a dramatic, enthralling process that you gotta see to believe. What a show it would make. Viewers will get to know some of these folks better then they know their own family.
Like Dr. Phil's Get Real Challenge, the New Directions Workshop gets to the CORE of the issues, faces feelings HEAD-ON, and allows people to Connect and Grow ina safe, loving, heart-warming environment.
There will be some cussing. There will be some screaming. There will be some
Attitude. There will be Hatred expressed. There may even be a bit of Violence,
involved.
but it all will be in the spirit of Healing, Releasing and Growing.
Call or write for a free video or audio taped example of the class.
under-priced and under-appreciated, the New Directions weekend workshop has
been helping people heal for over 17 years, since 1986. Over 2,000 graduates
have experienced the weekend, and we have loads of complements like the ones
below.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
---
Get Our E-Zine in Your Inbox
---
If you're feeling something… something kinda large, or that you notice
is weighing on your heart and mind, dimming your daily experience and hardening
your thoughts,
It's time to let it out.
easier to do, if you can at least identify what the subject is, what's pushing to it, what’s beneath it.
But let's say you can't quite figure out What the heck you're feeling. something, but damn. It's all jumbled up.
Maybe there's a bunch of things, maybe even little things. but if left unexpressed, they build on each other, and eventually
actually, I think we can handle Some of them in our daily lives, without having
to Stop and Feel each one.
some just pass on thru, with maybe an irritation or little stab, or slight
disappointment.
heck, we’re adults, right? We are not THAT sensitive that every little
things needs to get us down, creates drama, and must be "addressed".
some things don't even warrant a second of our energy, or thought, or hurt.
I have had the experience where I felt hurt about something, realized what
it was, decided I DON'T CARE enough about that to let it get to me, and LET
GO of it. some times, Completely.
The ability to adjust and manage What we care about, and How Much we care about
it, is a POWERFUL TOOL.
damn. that is so cool. it makes my heart SWELL to know that I have THAT MUCH
CONTROL OVER MY LIFE!
Damn.
---
Cool Attitudes
The Lion, when first introducted" in the Wizard of Oz
"Lions and Tigers and Bears -- Oh My!!"
"rrrrggghhh.
"Put em up, put em uuup. Which one a you first? I'll fight you with one
armed tied behind my back. I'll fight you with my eyes closed."
"Get up and fight, you shivering junkyard. you lop-sided hunk of hay."
Crabsta Gangsta in Little Mermaid
"I'm a gansta, see…
"We don't like your type around here, see…
---
favorite words
My or Mine or Me
- Let's talk about Me.
- That's Mine.
- My feelings matter most.
---
Dating
(Michele)
Talkin' ABOUT sex is cool.
just don't talk about/imply having sex with ME!
---
wording for the Sedona Method
Say goodbye to fear, stress and anxiety—even panic attacks…
Control anger problems...
Create lasting wealth and abundance…
Lift even long-standing depression...
Get rid of chronic physical pain...
Kick addictions…lose weight…stop smoking…
Remove subconscious blocks to having the life you desire…
Liberate your mind & body
Realize your dreams and objectives
Create effortless prosperity
Ease your worries naturally
Be free from stress, anxiety, anger and depression
Experience personal transformation
Make much more money while having more fun
Create more radiant health and well-being
Enjoy more loving relationships
Lose weight, stop smoking and much more...
Here's just a "taste" of what the Sedona Method can do for you:
It can allow you to effortlessly release limiting thoughts and feelings that
have plagued you for years even the very first time you use the program...
It can dramatically reduce stress and cause stress-induced dysfunctional feelings
and behaviors (including anger, depression, fear, anxiety, substance abuse,
and many others) to fall away...
It creates healing of emotional trauma and self-imposed limitations forever
, even for people who have been unsuccessful with other methods...
It actually slows the aging process by eliminating the harmful effects of stress,
increasing your vitality, well-being, and improving overall health and happiness...
It can dramatically accelerate your mental, emotional, and spiritual growth,
giving you the results you always THOUGHT you were supposed to get from the
other programs and books you've tried (but, if you're like most people, never
really got)...
It improves career and financial results by removing the blocks to maximizing
your personal potential, improving relationships, creativity, the ability to
take key, decisive actions and more...
It can increase your self-awareness, inner peace, and happiness, as well as
your ability to connect with other people and create successful relationships.
---
If you think you have your Feelings handled -- in order -- under control --
then let's see it.
Show me.
If you totally "have a grip" on your feelings… Great. I want
to believe you and I'm glad to hear it. So, let’s see them.
I contend that me "having a grip on my feelings", means that I can
call them up at any time, experience them Fully and completely, the whole time
remaining totally within my control and at my pleasure. I learn from them,
respect them, try to understand them and have compassion for them -- and then
lovingly Release them, letting them just fall away, to allow the sun to once
again shine within me.
- Can you do that? (I can)
--- Can you Allow your Sadness to envelope you, move you, cleanse you?
----- How about Depression? Do you find yourself trying to fight off your depression
-- as it drags you down and down and down?
------- Can you Pull-up your ANGER, letting it build and build until your Entire
Body is so TENSE and Tight and Ready to FIGHT!!?!
------- (while being totally in control of yourself the entire time)
Can you really let yourself experience the FULL INTENSITY of your emotions?
----- somewhere, sometime, with some body, YA GOTTA LET 'EM GO!!
Guess what?
- - - - - Avoiding your Feelings, doesn't work!
- - - Denying your Feelings, doesn't work!
- - - - - Drinking away your Feelings, doesn't work!
The only thing that REALLY WORKS, is FEELING YOUR FEELINGS!
Let's say, just for a minute, that your Feelings were completely Natural,
and correct, and a God-given Gift for you to use.
Wouldn't you Honor them enough to even LISTEN to them for a minute?
What if you body is trying to tell you something?
What if your clever Mind, and self-protecting Heart, conspire to KEEP YOU FROM
FEELING?
What if your body tries to Protect itself by Avoiding the Feelings?
Here's how I see it…
We come out feeling good… except for the initial spanking, and an occasional
inconvenience like being hungry or uncomfortable… babies come out feeling
pretty Ok. And most importantly, they come out being TOTALLY in Touch with
their Feelings… if fact, they have nothing else BUT their Feelings.
Babies feel what they feel, express it, and (if their needs get met), they
can Release their negative feelings, completely with NO residual effects of
hanging on, remembering, keeping score… none of that. They feel 'em,
they release 'em, they let 'em go. that's it.
Then we grow.
And as we grow, SHIT HAPPENS. Life Happens. The World Happens. Events Happen.
We get slammed. We get abandoned. We get hit. We get abused.
We get angry, and hurt, and depressed, and afraid.
…
as we grew, especially as little kids, do you think we were able to continue
to Feel 'em, Release 'em and Let 'em Go like we did as a baby?? No way.
well, some were. the very lucky ones. (actually, I have yet to see a child
who came from parents who could honestly and openly express their anger, disappointment
or disapproval directly and straight-forwardly to their parents.) (no, I take
that back, I have seen some kids that had total freedom to be and feel who
and what they truly are, with respect and proper boundaries -- my daughter,
and children of other ND graduates!)
more often we were told, "Big Boys Don't Cry"
and "Don't you get that Tone with me, young man!"
"
Go to your room and don't come out until you have a smile on your face."
and "Suck it up", "Run it off", "Go out and play,
everything will be Ok."
What happened to our ability to Express our Feelings, the way our body was
meant to feel them?
We are told, over and over, in many, many ways (sometimes with Severe Consequences)
that "YOU HAD BETTER STUFF THOSE FEELINGS AWAY, young lady, and STRAIGHTEN
UP! and I mean NOW!"
our feelings are denied. our expression is squelched.
we, as a person, go away feeling misunderstood, mis-treated and unloved (and
worse, unlovable).
so then what happens?
We have a few choices with what to do with our Feelings:
a. We can cut off and stuff our feelings down, down deep inside ourselves.
b. We can "trade them in" for other, more acceptable feelings, like
Anger and Bitterness.
like feeling Anger, rather than Hurt, as Anger is safer, more powerful, less
vulnerable
c. We can protect ourselves and our feelings.
d. We can tell ourselves "I don't care." and try to deny our feelings,
even to ourselves.
We stuff 'em. We put 'em away. We deny they exist.
We pull away. We hide. We run. We medicate.
We go into (or never come out of) a "Survival Mode" where our bodies
will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to survive.
We will Shut Down our hearts and our Feelings so that we CAN SURVIVE.
but still, sometimes, late late at night, when no-one's around and no-one will
hear… we cry.
our lives are sad. our loves are sad. our work is sad.
we are hurt. and alone. and afraid. and we feel so little, and vulnerable,
and small.
"
So, what do we do, oh Feelings Master?
"
Just Feel them," I say.
"
That's it?", you ask.
"
That's it." I reply. "Feel them and Let them go."
"
Are you serious," you ask. "That, and only that, will change my Life
for the better?!?"
"
That's right, grasshopper. If you will Allow your Feelings to exist, Acknowledge
them, Listen to them, Respect them, Appreciate them, your entire Life Experience
will RADICALLY IMPROVE, for Free, Any time, 24/7. I GUARANTEE IT!"
However, there may be a down side.
I can tell you that if you've Stuffed for your Feelings for a long while, and
you really have No Clue what you feel, what it's based on, or what to do with
it, then you are in for the Wild Ride of your LIFE! ---- HANG ON --- YEEEE
HAAA!
You will be ROCKED, like you've never imagined!
You will Feel, and Experience, and Be Consumed By some incredibly negative
Feelings.
You will feel Sadness like never before.
You will feel so Pissed Off, your body will feel like BLOWING APART.
You will feel your Depression and your Fear to the point that you will feel
like dying.
but frankly (and I don't want to minimize the impact here), but So What?
They are JUST FEELINGS.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE from expressing your Feelings!
You are not going to Explode and you are not going to Burst.
You are gonna be one hurtin' cowboy or cowgirl, but that's ok.
You'll get through it. You'll Feel it and let it go. You'll have delved into
the depths of your soul, returning Renewed, Refreshed, and ready to face the
world with a new vigor and enthusiasm that you hadn't felt in Years!
You will be Enlightened, and Enlivened, and Pumped-up, and Renewed!
You will FEEL things that you've only seen in movies.
You will be AMAZED at all the Power, and Compassion, and Feeling inside you!
You will come away going, "WOW -- I had No Idea that all that was inside
me!"
or,
I knew it was all in there, stewing around and clouding my thinking, AND it
feels GREAT to have finally Let It Go!
By the way, and I have some even Better news for some of you…
your Anger is NOT as big as the WORLD!
you are NOT going to "kill somebody" if you ever let your Anger out!
it is NOT Bigger than you, nor out of control, nor Unbelievably Large!
Your unexpressed Anger (which I'm sure by now is good solid RAGE) is NOT going
to make you Implode, or Explode.
It may FEEL LIKE IT's HUGE. And you may WANT TO KILL SOMEBODY. And you may
FEEL like you are EXPLODING.
but you're not. and you won't. and it doesn't.
it's managable… and releasable.
You see, we can help you Experience your RAGE and your Anger and your HATE,
in a safe, controlled environment.
We can help you EXPLODE through all that pent-up (and probably very Valid and
Justifiable) anger and rage in a way that:
a. Won't hurt you.
b. Won't let you hurt anyone else
c. Feels AMAZINGLY GREAT afterwards, to finally Feel and Release all the crap
that's been inside you forever and ever!
---
Self-Processing
1. Allow the Crying.
2. FEEL what it's based on.
3. Find the Belief that is Behind the feeling.
4. See if you Agree with it.
5. If so, keep it and just continue crying until done.
6. If it's not a solid Belief yet, try to Let it go, give it no energy, no
glue, nothing to stand on.
7. If it IS a solid Belief, hear it. Heade it. Listen to it… it's probably
from experience and trying to tell you something.
Apparently, something similar to this has happened to you before.
Apparently, this Belief does have some "basis".
Apparently, there's a Lesson to be Learned… not by your Head, but by
your Heart.
It's time to Shut-up and Listen and trust your body's wisdom and experience.
Just be sure that the lesson you take away, is a positive, enriching, life-enhancing
lesson -- not a downer, depressing, poor-me-type lesson.
---
I am hurting now because I need to learn about my Feelings.
If I had had it easy, what have I to Learn from that??
No, I hurt, to learn. and then to teach.
I've always wanted to "understand myself" so now that I do, it's
time to show others.
---
A big lesson with Rachel, is not to Demand, and Control, and bully.
It's to "Manage" her, sorta like other employees, but with more Heart.
(adjust heart openness.)
I listen, I watch, I direct. Plan, Organize, Direct, Control. (all needed,
at the right times, with the right attitude, and with the right Feeling)
I make some rules. I shore up my Boundaries.
I take care of my business.
while staying connected.
---
"
It's cunning, baffling and powerful."
- Michele Splat re: AA and evil
---
The 4 D's of spiritual growth
DISCIPLINE - To create change in our lives, we need to consistently focus on
what we want.
DETACHMENT - Practice the art of detached observation. Let go of automatic
defenses and patterns.
DISCERNMENT - Seek to discern the lower from the higher. What is self-serving
and what is soul-inspired? Discernment carries no judgment. There are no goods
and bads. Remain as a detached witness.
DHARMA - This is an East Indian word meaning "living your unique purpose." How
do you find meaning and fulfillment in ways that are natural to you? How do
you best serve and contribute to the world?
---
Ok, the way that T. Harv does it is as follows:
You have to listen to some of his stuff before signing up.
Audio download, 90-minutes
Live TeleClass, by phone, 90-minutes, some Tuesday evenings
Live Evening Event, 3 hours, in Hotels, Free
Then, and only then, can you actually register for the class.
Half of the events are Teaching, the other Half is Selling the Intensive.
Half of the Intensive is Teaching, the other half is Selling their big programs ($1995 and up).
It's working, but it seems to require a fairly large organization. (maybe not.)
…and, if I didn't HAVE To make money on every class, we COULD do it
this way.
rather than making money at the beginning of class, we'd have to make it at
the End of class (selling other classes).
… would take lots of pressure off of getting the students 'through' each class, too. some would leave… and that's ok.
ASSUMES that we are going to do a variety of add-on classes
ART $150/class or buy 5 get 1 free, $750 / $900
Monthly Coaching Program $199 mo. or buy 5 get 1 free, $995 / $1194
US Attitudes $199/student
Give write-up at beginning of ND, give discounts as we go.
introduce US Attitudes Saturday at lunch, just after choosing teams
introduce ART Sunday lunch
Coaching Sunday night, last thing before closing circle and Graduation
Regularly, $199
---
we offer:
Hope
Solutions to unhappiness
Tools for living
Reduce your pain
increase your happiness
enjoy your life
people who know they have a higher purpose in their life
but don’t know what it is, or how to get there.
---
Tax deductible? We have designed our professional business coaching services
to be tax-deductible for most clients. In the U.S., all continuing education
expenses undertaken to maintain and improve business and professional skills
are tax-deductible. Always double-check this with your CPA or tax advisor.
Ask them about Treasury Regulation 1-162-5, Coughlin vs. Commissioner, 203F
2d 307
---
Berkely Psychic Institute
January 11 Your Mother - genetic and matching pictures.
February 8 Owning Your Power: good girl - bad girl syndrome.
March 14 Emotions. Who controls you with guilt? Who controls you with responsibility?
April 11 Beyond the Whore vs. the Virgin Syndrome -- Sexy Mary
May 9 Mother's Day: A celebration of "Her - Story."
June 13 Your Astral. How do you heal yourself in your dreams?
July 11 Your Father. Where do you run his energy in your body?
August 8 Your Body. Whose energy creates limits in your body?
September 12 The Arts. What is your creative expression?
October 10 Abuse. How does it manifest in your life?
November 21 Miracles. Validating the miracle of your creations.
December 13 (Monday evening) Women's Holiday Festivals
SUSAN HULL BOSTWICK
Susan Hull Bostwick, Deja Vu Publishing Company's chief executive officer and
an intuitive teacher of more than 100,000 women. A former teacher in San
Francisco's public and private school system, Bostwick began to hear a call
for more of a spiritual challenge. She answered that call in 1973 when she
went to the Berkeley Psychic Institute.
Bostwick trained at the Berkeley Psychic Institute in 1973 as an intuitive reader and healer. In 1977, she founded the Women's Healing Program. The Women's Healing Program is designed to teach women how to use and take charge of their intuitive abilities.
Among her other accomplishments, she is the founder of the Marin Birth Center, Deja Vu Tours, a custom tour agency visiting spiritual power points around the world and the publisher of the Psychic Reader Newspaper with a readership of over 210,000.
Bostwick sees herself as an Everywoman. ''We have our spiritual essence, or self, in many things at the same time; our real task is to learn to handle what we are creating and enjoy it. I have always been a dreamer who gets her dreams and I enjoy teaching other women how to manifest their own dreams.''
---
AJ, I noticed that you liked that Personal Power Institute's "program of learning" that was offered over 3 weekends…
People like "Programs".
The weekend is only part of the Program.
3-month Program -
"Taking Control of Your Feelings & Emotions"
intro session - prep for weekend
ND weekend (New Student)
check-in session - what did you learn?
weekly support groups in between
membership to community of grads
learning session - notice where you're at, expression of feelings, prep for
next weekend
Assistant training class, 2 hours, a few days before class (at a restaurant?)
ND weekend (as Assistant)
check-in session - what are you feeling? what did you learn?, what's still
to learn?
weekly support groups
exit session - Now What?!
Get Help - weekend 1
Give Help - weekend 2
$499 for 2 weekends
$750 for 2 people (save $249!)
1-year Program: Taking Control of Your Life!
coaching calls 2x per month
belong to gym: chat, call or email during certain hours.
OnLine and InPerson and ByPhone
thoughts? how to make it supportive, interesting, and financially beneficial
What would you like your part to be, if any?
How about a class at the Learning Exchange?
We need to do Guest Events.
I'm thinking about an Emotional Gym (onland)
where they Belong, pay a fee every month
open certain hours, come as often as you wish, stay as long as you'd like
drop-in classes, coffee chat room, scheduled support group meetings
rent rooms to other healing pros
or
Emotional Gym (online and onphone)
open certain hours
call-in services
what did I learn from slow Community launch?
I must seed the flames next time.
I must share first
I must set the example.
I must lead.
I must model.
without money, I can't ask anyone to do what I'm not willing to do.
---
TCOYE
some day
I'd like a biz card reader for my pc --> Outlook
being a good programmer, means you learn to think Clearly, and methodically, and have incredible Attention to Detail. Nothing can slip thru the cracks, and there can be No Typos anywhere, ever -- the syntax must be Perfect. The forms must work Perfectly, and the reports damned well better be Perfect, every time.
you gotta think of Everything, or Wham!
just like Life, I guess.
Awareness is the 1st Key to Change
sell Awareness
We are speaking to Professionals.
Our equals, or slightly below.
equal, or slightly above. Progress
Personal Equality with Others
As children, we are less than, smaller, controlled
__ Parents, dominated us, made the rules, did what they pleased
__ Child, small, fragile, sometimes a victim, did what they were told
Old goal - equal, responsible, adequate, 'normal', fit-in, socialize
__ __ As we "grow up", we elevate our standing, striving for equality,
for wholeness, for power,
New goal - Equal, or slightly Above!
___ The goal: Us. Solid, secure, powerful, loving, clear, mature, wise, fun,
in control
___ Them. We are not "better than", but
interesting way of thinking. try it sometime for about 30000 hours or so. (220
workdays/year x 8 hrs/day x 17 years is 29,920 hours)
I am researching ME.
I want to see what I want to be like.
Now that I have so many Choices, and I have some experience in different Careers
I feel it's time to come report my findings to you.
I will be out in the world, doing some amazing experiences, and I'll come back here and report them to you… Ok?
write my journal, in blog form, to show my progress
takes time, can't do it right now
but GREAT IDEA!
Get a Clue!
Get a Grip!
Get a Life!
New Directions will show you how.
STOP being Clueless!
If you're walking around WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, you
are NOT in Control of your life… period. If you don't understand your
Fears and your Issues, and your emotional shortcomings, you are gonna get CREAMED
out there in the real world. People will Take Advantage of you. Ex-Lovers know
your weak spots and will Exploit them to the best of their abilities. The dude
at work that's competing for the promotion -- who's gonna win?
UNDERSTAND Yourself and Others
People will all of a sudden "Make Sense"
As we understand and appreciate what we FEEL, then our Behaviours make more
sense.
So many of our Behaviours are for out of Survival.
But we need to understand that many of those Survival-based behaviours are
NOT so much
to protect you, as an Adult… they were created by you as a Young Child.
They made PERFECT Sense to the child
at the time. The child had to learn, and fast. The child had FEW CHOICES. The
child was a VICTIM.
Yet,
when it all seems so insurmountable.
when the Pain just seems too much to bear.
The child Adapts. sometimes immediately.
The child Changes to suit his/her environment.
The child had to make some big decisions on how Safe this world is. As a kid,
you get Slammed hard enough and/or often enough, you will ADAPT. It's called
the School of Hard Knocks -- very effective to teaching kids BIG life lessons.
but here's the problem…
Some of those lessons, that made such good sense to the Child….
CHILD-based BELIEFS DON'T WORK TOO WELL AS AN ADULT!
The child Survives! Yes, but the Adult Suffers.
We try to do intimate Adult Relationships, and act all grown up and mature,
but that's when our subconsious childhood beliefs come out -- unbeknownst to
us.
Who is in Control of Your Life? A little kid!
Until you are AWARE.
but some get "stuck" in there, and
Survival = Panic
Feel MORE POWERFUL inside
---
Coach + Passion + Niche Market +
Problem + Solution + Format =
New Coaching Income Stream
- Andrea Lee
---
Do NOT miss your chance to Blow.
cause Opportunity comes once in a Lifetime.
- Eminem "Lose Yourself"
damn right. and THIS is my opportunity. here and now.
---
Feelings are God's built-in alarm system for our thoughts. If you are feeling
an emotion other than joy, our natural inheritance, check the thoughts you
are having at that moment. Every thought, and I mean every one, that does not
put you in a joyful state has as its underlying premise the belief that you
are separate from God (this belief being the only mistake or "sin" we
have ever made). We are just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, dreaming that
our life is real, but truly still wrapped in the loving arms of God. Every
feeling has a lesson built into it to remind us this truth if we take a moment
to look for it. Feelings are God's gift to us, and will guide us back to Him,
back to our inheritance, back to joy.
- Sandra Adair
---
I just realized, it's like there are now 4 types of people. We made 2 more.
Women
Men
Gays
Lesbians
unknown
----
How do you connect with people, on the phone, in a way that you can Talk to
them.
Create Report, then Re-Direct, right?
people seem to spend the entire phone conversation trying to End the conversation
-- get Off the phone.
How do I relax them, just enough that:
a. they don't rush to get off, they stay, and linger and want more
(sexier, more swooning in voice, slower, lower energy, safer, if women, use
semi-mushy words that break the ice and show some information)
b. or at least they are receptive to what you are saying. Build trust and report
Quickly and easily (and honestly).
Find a good way to Ask to be let in.
Hey, I teach Feelings & Emotions, so yes, I'm usually right Out There with
mine. I like 'em.
anyway, I'd like your permission to be Straight-forward and Honest with you
as we talk, Ok?
find out more about this!
Jan and Michael represent our "ideal clients"... professional, intelligent, successful (at least career-wise), yet UNSUCCESSFUL in Intimate Relationships and not really Feeling that great about Life. Motivated to change thru pain, sadness, depression, divorce.
Get Close
get REALLY Close.
Learn the tools.
See how it's done.
Feel it.
Live it.
Replicate it.
We teach Intimacy
We teach Love
We teach Trust
We teach you to Feel.
You take it home with you.
Get your old baggage out of the way so you can be Really close.
do the site kinda like www.GMRLive.com
2 paragraphs max
then links below
a cool picture
with Next (LARGE) and Previous (small) buttons
take 'em thru an Experience of the class.
8 Simple Steps to Taking Control of your Life
1. Establish Trust
2. Know you have CHOICES!
3. Accept the Choices you've made.
4. Identify the Roots
5. Let it Out!
6. Fill-up with Love
7. Find your Personal Power
8. Take Control of Your Life!
---
This is a file of clever wording that I want to keep. It's only in order by
when the thought occurred to me.
Perhaps it could help you get a better feel for what I'm trying to get across
to people.
Thanks for caring.
- Matt
sent out 6.16.4 to Lonn, Lyle, MariJo and Karen
---
I'm so glad to hear that your depression and anxiety has subsided, for the
most part!! That's fantastic that you could rid yourself of these horrible
feelings so quickly.
Know, too that you have JUST broken thru the feeling and now it's time to see
what's underneath that and get the Source taken care of. There's more work
to be done. The good news is that you are Definitely on the right road and
it will be WORTH IT, to Improve the rest of your Life!
---
WE GIVE FIRST!
---
We'll help you move from:
Unconscious
to
Conscious
to
Super-Conscious
---
The New Directions Dance of Healing
You are in pain.
Your life isn't looking, or feeling, the way you want it to.
You're down. Life has got you down.
Relationships aren't working.
Love is scarce.
Friends are only so helpful.
You tried therapy, helpful but can be expensive and slow.
Church can help in some ways.
but Dammit, you are Sick and Tired of being Down!!
you've been down long enough
you know there must be Help out there, but where and
we're in the new millenium,
We understand emotional pain better.
We understand how feelings were formed, and how they persist.
We have experienced all levels of feelings and emotions...
we know how to encourage them to come out
to feel them to the depth that they are stored
and to Release them, often never to return!
So you reach out to us for help.
You come to class.
First, we get blessing from the Man upstairs.
If we "know" we are doing the right things, we can get tons of help
and assistance from Him... just by asking!
the price is right and feeling is AWESOME to know you WILL ALWAYS have support,
guidance and love of your Higher Power!
Then we start class.
And do what we know how to do...
We show you the way to healing...
We guide you by teaching, showing, explaining, enacting.
We show you how it all started.
We explain how Feelings are formed -- how we Became who we are -- so it all
makes sense.
We support, love and encourage you.
We set the stage for dumping lots of past garbage.
You do the emotional work
We help you dump your refuse tanks, and fill-up your storage tanks.
We teach you a new way to live, a new attitude, a new direction.
You go out feeling Considerably better about yourself, your relationships,
and your life!
You feel clean, and refreshed, and rejuvinated.
You feel Hopeful, and Happy and Encouraged.
You feel Loved, and Cared for, and Connected.
It's Amazing, really, how such simple concepts yield such Awesome results!
(I love it :- )
---
<
Self-Actualized Grads - we've had people working with us for so long, and cleared
out SO many issues and past garbage, that they are damned close to being downright
HAPPY!
1. Almost Nothing from past is still causing pain and anger (unless we choose
to go there)
2. We live with Very few "shoulds"
3 We're crystal-clearly aware of our Feelings, emotions, intentions, etc.
4. We know, and practice, highly Advanced communication skills
5. We LOVE our life!
6. We feel Loved, like we belong, like we "fit in" with people and
we Matter.
7. We are completely personally responsible for our feelings, behaviours and
actions.
8. We are a "victim" in very few areas of our Lives.
9. We feel we Power and Choice in everything we do.
10. We feel Encouraged, Positive, Helpful and Free.
11. We like people. We understand people. We can connect with people.
12. We are accepting, and non-judgemental.
13. We believe the future brings hope, joy and adventure.
14. We continue to nurture, champion and heal the life on our inner-child.
15. We pretty well understand where we came from, how we got here, and where
we are going next.
---
Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and
of a sound mind.
http://www.carm.org/kjv/2Tim/2Tim_1.htm
---
New Directions Break-Through Wellness Workshop
Feel Better -- FAST ! !
Learn powerful new communication tools.
Dump old emotional baggage.
Understand and connect with others like never before!
Feel Alive, Refreshed and Rejuvenated
in the
New Directions Weekend
Break-through Wellness Workshop
Healing, Growth, Recovery, Safety
"
I did over 5 years of growth in 1 short weekend!" - Linda V.
June 4 July 16
(559) 237-8304, $199, FCC Fresno
"
You WILL feel better about your life -- Guaranteed!"
Since 1986, Matt & Paula Perelstein have helped over 2,000 people take
control
of their lives via powerful life coaching & life-changing personal growth
workshops.
"
You've changed my life in many ways, large and small." - Helen T.
---
Newsletter - Roger Parker http://www.cvcommunity.com/utility/showArticle/index.cfm?objectID=1183
1 page, front and back, 600 words max
title (strong, short title with long subtitle):
Feel Better, FAST!
"Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions"
send as .PDF, nicely formatted in MS Publisher
monthly, same day every month
Plan topics for entire year, before starting any
use numbered lists
be consistently present
don't promote your product, promote your newsletter!
find your niche!
Target marketing - invest your resources on a target that is reachable - don't
be seduced by broadband media. Use a rifle instead of a shotgun.
Constant visibility - you have to always be there. A small ad every week is
better than a big ad once a month, and a small newsletter every month is better
than a bigger newsletter every quarter.
Market education - especially in a field like coaching. You have to let them
know specifically how you can help them, how you do help them, and what makes
you different. An educated client is your best tool
---
If shame-based, probably:
had many jobs
do sneaky things - alcohol, drugs, porn
fight more
angry more
protect more
don't keep relationships well
mysterious maladies
low self-esteem
control and fear-based decisions, behaviours
yuck.
---
Winning the Happiness Game
"He who dies with the most Joys, wins!"
---
Coaching Course http://www.developyourchild.co.uk/foster-care-workshops.htm
1. Work with the Coach, personally
2. How to connect with others - communication skills and attitudes
3. Building Self-Esteem and confidence in others
---
Feel Better - FAST!
Improve Self-Esteem
Create closer, healthier Relationships
New Directions Wellness Weekend
"A rare jewel of self-discovery." - Gretchen M.
Ft. Bragg, May 14-16, Friday evening, Sat. & Sun.
(707) 962-9006, email: info@2GetHelp.com
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
"You WILL feel better about your Life
-- Guarenteed!"
$299 primary registrant, $199 each add'l
Since 1986, Matt and Paula Perelstein have helped over 2,000 people take control
of their lives through their powerful life coaching and personal growth workshops.
"You have changed my life in many ways large and small." - Helen T.
Tremendous growth in 1 weekend
"
4 years of personal inventory in 1 weekend" - 12-steppers
New Directions Wellness Workshop
Healing, Growth, Recovery Weekend
"You will feel Better about your Life -- Guarenteed!"
June 4-6, Fri. evening, Sat. & Sun.
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
(559) 237-8304, $199, FCC Fresno
Since 1986, Matt & Paula Perelstein have helped over 2,000 people take
control
of their lives via powerful life coaching & life-changing personal growth
workshops.
"You've changed my life in many ways, large and small." - Helen T.
---
New Directions Wellness Weekend
Healing, Growth & Recovery
May 14-16, 1st Time in Ft. Bragg
962-9006
---
Improve Self-Esteem
Create Closer, Healthier Relationships
Enjoy Life More!
no more "Shoulds"
thou shall not "should" on thyself
4 steps to learning
Emotional control
Learn to use Emotional Tools
Peace
positive
healthy
relax
fill-up
inspired
lighten-up
rejuvinate
ABUNDANCE
prosperity
Family
intimacy
Joy!
Love
togetherness
closeness
commitment
Fun!
partners
anger mgt.
no fears
Personal Power
Recovery
New Directions Wellness Weekend
May 14-16, 1st time in Fort Bragg
"
The workshop cleared out the clogs in my emotions!"
"
A rare jewel of self discovery."
$299 primary registrant
$199 each additional registrant
Matt & Paula Perelstein have helped over 2,000 take control of their lives
since 1986 via life coaching & personal growth workshops.
(707) 962-9006
matt@2GetHelp.com
NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
Feel better - FAST!
Benefits, then features
Stress-free, Peace, Ambition, Motivation, Ideas, Self-esteem
Beautiful redwood setting
What can it do for me, then how (if at all)
happier
more contentment
more love
more joy
more laughing
Learn powerful, life-changing tools
Increase your emotional quotient (EQ)
Heal your past.
Experience Trust & Safety
Open your heart - Enjoy Life!
Get Happy!
Feel good!
Feel better - FAST!
Open your hear!
Take control of your emotional Life!
Life Instructions
TCOYF & E
---
"
Don't blame, explain. Explain how others affect your success, your dreams."
- Catherine Franz
---
"
One of the great dangers of transformational work is that the ego attempts
to sidestep deep psychological work by leaping into the transcendent too soon.
This is because the ego always fancies itself much more ‘advanced’ than
it actually is."
-- Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
---
Need a picture of a toolbox, with each tool having a feeling identifier.
Hammer = Anger
Pliers = Fear
got to www.inmagine.com and search for "toolbox"… lots of good
fix-it guys
---
and a PHONE!
---
The TCOYL Emotional Toolbox
You want to build a life of Happiness, Love, and Freedom?
You'd better have the right tools to build it and maintain it.
Our parents showed us how to use tools the way they knew how. These methods
have often proved to be hurtful,
---
Our "Beginner’s Packet" includes the following pieces of FAA
literature: "A Guide to Abstinence," "Names of Sugar" (which
also includes names of flour and wheat), a food diary, and a special edition
of "The Abstinent Times," our quarterly newsletter.
do Names of Feelings. TCOYF ebook, blog, newsletter
---
We are happier, if nothing else, but because we don't blame, and we take full
responsibility for our feelings and behaviours.
makes people soooo much easier to be around!
---
Get the tools to make your look, and more importantly FEEL, as great as you want it to
After the weekend, you will feel better about your life -- Gaurenteed!
---
Work, too, on our relationship with Money.
How about classes by subject -- Issues re:
Money
Sex
Love
Work
Parenting
if only 1 class, teach:
25% issues / awareness
50% How to / Skills
25% Intention / Future
---
from the feedback I'm getting on the brochure, I feel like people are trying
to tell me, as they told Howard Rourk, to conform and be nice.
I have gone overboard in the past in being conversational (ie-immature), but
I my writing now is more mature and more professional, while still including
myself in the text/content.
Write ND from my perspective, 80% them, 20% me.
Write what I know, then back it up with how I know it, personally.
Say it clearly, and forthright,
and with strength and Attitude!
---
30 second elevator speech
------------------------------
We show people how to handle their Feelings -- Anger, Fear, Depression (pause)
because once the tough stuff is handled, our bodies return to their Natural
state -- Happy, Loving and Free!
We're all about Helping People Feel Better, about themselves and their Lives.
We're about Handling our Feelings and Emotions
We're about Taking Control of our Lives
We're not an expensive, one-shot, motivational workshop that gets you all fired
up, but then leaves you flat.
We help people get out of repetitive behaviours that don't work
Do you have any areas of your life that aren't working well for you?
There are probably things that you work really hard on, but are not getting
the results you want.
Chances are, there are some beliefs or feelings or thoughts that are getting
in your way.
We are instructors, not therapists. We're much faster :-)
We don't analyze you or label you, and we don't need to hear your whole life
story.
We're not trying to make you dependant for life, just 1 short weekend.
We don't have much time, so we go right to the Heart of the matter.
We help you break-through old belief systems and thought patterns, quickly
and effectively.
…
and we'll show you how it all works, so you can try it at home, with people
you trust, from now on!
Life Events + Thoughts & Beliefs + Feelings & Emotions = Behaviors and Results
Control them, or they will Control You
In therapy, they call it:
The Cognitive - Affective - Behavioral Model (Adler, Perls, Downing)
At New Directions, we say it in simpler terms:
1. Understand your thoughts, and their origins
2. Identify, Accept and Express your Feelings in positive ways
3. Control your behaviours, and the feelings that push at them
…
that's it. It's not rocket science. It's just stuff that isn't taught in regular
school. If you don't learn it from the New Directions weekend, you will probably
learn it in the School of Hard Knocks.
Imagine a life where you:
Get your emotional needs met with empowering, Functional & FUN relationships
Understand and accept your "issues", and know what to do with them
Are able to make and keep your Boundaries and Values -- so you can keep yourself
safe, emotionally
Become vibrantly "in-touch" with your Feelings -- for a Love-filled,
Joyous, Passionate Life!!
Are able to be wide open and vulnerable with safe people -- creating intimacy,
closeness and Love
Actually Feel SAFE, for a change! (many have Never experienced that luxury
-- we'll show you how)
Have the courage and skills to take strong, purposeful action, if needed to
protect yourself and your loved ones.
Have a Knowing, a Wisdom, a Gift, that can only be achieved by being centered,
aware, and whole.
Once you learn to clearly identify how you Feel, and to Accept and Express
your Feelings in positive ways, you will find an overwhelming sense of peace
and control of your life! You can act, rather than re-act. You can understand
people and get along with others. You can make your life look, and more importantly
Feel, the way you want it to.
Don't let your past run your life any longer!
Don't let another painful, hopeless day go by!
Don't let your dysfunctional past ruin your present and your future!
This weekend is not for everyone. We will be gentle and loving, but there
will still be awkward, uncomfortable moments during the process. It's called
Growth, and Learning, and getting out of your Comfort Zone. It's a crutial
part of going beyond where you've been before and it's the stuff that life
is made of … but if you’re not up for it, that's Ok.
We promise to push your boundaries and stretch your limits -- because that's
what you've hired us to do. You will breakthrough old barriers and limitations
and you will NOT leave the courseroom unhappy.
After the weekend, you WILL feel better about your life -- We gaurentee it
(or your money back)!
Once a graduate, always a friend.
---
how to blend the inner game with the outer game to achieve total success.
---
Make decisions as a mature Adult, not a little child.
---
this is not the place they get to come each week to whine about how they feel
- this is where they come to examine what is working in the present, what is
not, and to go through the
process of changing the "is not" part of that by taking action.
- Penny R. Tupy, Life Coach
Feelings expressed for the following reasons are fine:
Clarity
Release
Acceptance
Remove Judgments
Go for deeper feelings (ex: express anger to get to the hurt underneath)
not Ok
whining
blaming (short-term is fine, in an effort to find your part in it all)
one-up-manship / competition
poor me (if you want people to feel sorry for you, your not looking for results)
victim (to explain how there really is NOthing you can do about it)
---
Therapists work on the "past", we must focus on the Now, and the Future (which is what people want to fix, anyway!
---
Therapy http://www.apa.org/videos/4310230.html
In the videotape, the therapist attempts to increase the patient's expressiveness
by helping her tune into her feelings and intentions, encouraging her to respond
in accordance with these rather than with the concerns she may have about the
potential reactions of others. By starting with an experiential focus on what
the patient feels and wants, the behaviorally oriented rehearsal methods may
be constructed as an "inside-out" approach to assertion and expressiveness
training. The vignette in which the patient becomes angry at the therapist
illustrates how this response may be used as a sample of the patient's interactional
difficulties.
Dr. Goldfried began the session by asking: "Tell me, what prompted you
to get in contact with me at this particular time?"
Toward the end of the session, Dr. Goldfried described what will happen in
therapy. He told Janet that he would spend the first two sessions and part
of the third session getting to know her as a person. He informed her that
by the third session he would share with her what he thought.
He described the therapeutic alliance that they would seek to achieve, which
was composed of three parts: a) a bond between the patient and the therapist,
in which the patient must feel comfortable and assured that the therapist is
in tune with the patient and that the therapist has the patient's interests
at heart; b) establishment of goals for the therapy; and c) agreement about
the means of therapy.
(3 weeks, over $200 in fees, not a thing has been changed or accomplished…)
----
Subject: SMF/ND Brochure wording (sent to Glynk 4.10.4)
I feel like we need to give them a little more Background about the class.
and Talk to them more. I tried to Explain how we do what we do a bit more
verbosely, rather than so many bullet points.
Too many words in the 3 columns. I suggest you spread across 2 columns on
the back, maybe all 3.
with a picture or two included which?
to counter the guy trapped in the bottle, we need a guy who is Set Free. add
the dove logo
I'm having trouble with the "real you" wording. how about this…
Set Me Free - Letting Go and Taking Control
or
Set Me Free - Getting to the Heart of our Matter
or
Set Me Free - A Journey to the core of our Feelings
or
Set Me Free - The last great adventure: The journey inward
or
Set Me Free - Break away from your dysfunctional Past
here goes...
---
In the Beginning
We believe that kids are born with all of their feelings in tact… they
can be angry, sad, scared & happy.
But then dysfunctional life happens and we are told that it’s not Ok to feel our feelings. We have to stuff them and deny them and act like they’re not there.
Eventually, our feelings become a mess, and our lives become unmanagable.
The feelings go UP, the logic goes DOWN.
and you end up in jail, or divorced, or alone.
We’ve been denying them for so long we can no longer separate or identify
or deal with our feelings one at a time… they just glom together into
one big Pain Violence Depression RAGE
So who's in control here?
You or your feelings and emotions. Stop being a victim. Learn about yourself.
We don't learn this shuff in schools. But you'd better learn it somewhere. Either come spend a weekend with us, or keep attending the School of Hard Knocks. It's your life.
But we can Get to Know our Feelings.
be able to Identify them clearly
Accept that they are a God-given part of us
and learn to Express ourselves in healthy, productive ways…
If you can control your feelings, you can have:
Close, intimate, loving Relationships
Kind, supportive, understand Family
Pride, passion and self-esteem
Humour, empathy and openness
Trust, faith and spirit
Powerful Workshop
After the workshop:
You will feel better about your life
You will feel more ALIVE
Your heart will be open and your
Your eyes will be open wide
and your heart...
You will have choices
What to Expect
It's an experiential class. We don't sit around
studying theories. We will give you some simple background
explanation of how our feelings were created, how they are formed, where they
got stuck and how to get them unstuck... but only for awhile.
After that, it's time to get into it.
We have you sit face-to-face with folks
and tell them how you feel, and listen to how they feel.
We'll have you share what it is you are most Angry about
and who or what Hurt you the worst.
We'll have you identify and experience each of your different emotions, so you will get to know them and accept them… and ultimately manage them.
When you walk in, we will welcome you and invite you into our hearts.
When you talk, we will listen, empathetically, and not judge you or your past.
We will guide you, comfort you and hold a safe space for you to release any
pent-up feelings.
When you cry, we will be there to comfort you, hold your hand and dry your
tears.
...and when you leave, we'll be here to connect with you in many ways
(in person, by phone, by email, via internet)
During and After the class, you will Feel:
Enthused Alive!
Filled-up Refreshed
Safe Energized
Accepted Loved
Discover the power to change problem relationships, resolve long-term
emotional pain, and break-through to a happier, healthier you!
Tools for your Emotional Toolbox
We do the best we can with what we know.
We use our tools the best we can.
Toolboxes: A comparison
Home Toolbox
hammer
screwdrivers
saw
duct tape (of course)
Emotional Toolbox
boundaries
anger
personal power
Learn who you really are.
What drives you.
Where your emotions came from.
How your past is still affecting you in the present.
Take control of your life,
by being able to
Identify, Accept and Express
your feelings and emotions
in positive, healthy ways.
"If you know what you Feel,
you'll know who you are
and what you want."
- Doc Downing
We've been teaching New Directions
for over 17 years now (4 states, 2,000 students).
We've pretty much got this Feeling
stuff figured out. You'll be happy to know
that it's not that complicated…
there are no systems to study or
mantras to memorize…
we just show you how it works,
let you experience your own range of feelings and emotions
in a safe place
with loving support and guidance
and you will be AMAZED at the Joy and Relief and Calm that follows.
What a difference a weekend can make!
If we can make it safe enough for you on the outside,
you can explore the scary stuff that's inside your heart and body.
It's easy to write Testimonials from happy students,
but trust me, these are very real (and there are many more…)
We made the workshop as low-priced as we could, so more of you could experience
it.
other weekend workshops cost $300-700 and their prices are rising, but we just
lowered our prices.
Our class was $465 in 1988 -- now it's less than half that price -- and the class has gotten even better (and so have we)!
$199 -- half-price $99 to review (repeat the class)
$299 for two -- $149 each
$399 for three -- only $133 each
(that's nothing, when you see the growth you can make!)
Come join us -- We create Families!
When our family of origin can't or won't
provide what we need,
we go elsewhere. We create our own healthy,
supportive, loving families to help each other get through.
That's
Taking Control of Your Life!
--
an "INTENSIVE"
---
1-pager site for ND
-------------------
write and write, with very few links
signed by me (some wording is below)
then, other links just at the bottom
see www.millionairemind.com
---
Action Items
------------
Have someone call me
Send info via Email
Send info via Airmail
Sign-up for the TCOYF Series
Read our blog
Order the book and/or workbook
---
The Taking Control Family (as of 4.2.4)
People
Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT
Matt & Paula Perelstein, Lead Instructors
John Fisher, LMFT - correctional facility
Steve & Cheryl Nolan, Healers - meditation, Reiki, hypnosis
Glenda Young - educator, teacher for disadvantaged
Julie Bower - college professor, teacher
Therapists - Family Communication Center, Fresno, CA
Books, by Doc
Taking Control of Your Life textbook
Taking Control of Your Life workbook
Quotable Quotes
Anatomy of a Victim
Blog Writings, by Matt
"Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions" - http://2GetHelp.blogs.com
Workshops
New Directions Workshops - 3 cities in California
SetMeFree Workshops - No. California
Beyond Beliefs Workshops - New Zealand
Websites
www.FamilyCommCenter.org
www.NewDirectionsWorkshop.com
www.TakingControlOfYourself.com
www.2GetHelp.com
www.FosterFriendsffa.org
www.FresnoTherapists.org
www.AdoptionAdvocatesOnline.org
www.FresnoYouthAdvocates.org
Online Communities
http://2GetHelp.com/ask
http://groups.MSN.com/2GetHelp
Professional Assistance online
Dear Doc - http://www.familycommcenter.org/Dear_Doc/Read_Doc_s_Mail/read_doc_s_mail.html
Ask-a-Pro - Ask-a-Therapist, Ask-a-Coach, Ask-a-Parent
http://2gethelp.com/ask/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=4
Support Groups
Live - Saturday mornings, 9am, Fresno, CA
Live - Tuesday afternoons, 3pm, Fresno, CA $10
Online - Monday evenings, 7:30pm PST on http://groups.MSN.com/2GetHelp
ND Follow-up Options
----------------------------------
Review - go wider and deeper, $99
Assist - help others, and yourself, no charge
Students - get family and friends to class so you can be real with them, $199,
2 for $299, 3 for $399
Coaching - Matt or Paula, varies
Therapy - Doc or Cheri or Maryl, varies
Huge Group, Anger Mgt, ADAPT - Sat. mornings at 9, no charge
Tuesday Group with Doc - Tuesday afternoons at 3, $10
Online support groups - Monday evenings at 7:30, no charge (http://groups.msn.com/2gethelp)
Taking Control of Your Life textbook - read it, $19.95
Workbook - do it, $12.95
Matt's blog - check it out, no charge (http://2gethelp.blogs.com)
Online communities - stay connected (http://groups.2gethelp.com/ask & http://groups.msn.com/2gethelp)
---
"
AT-TEN-TION!"
- NAV
- Military
- Security
- Police
- us, too!
with INTENTION
- Not fearful and Weak
- Courageous, Wise and Strong
We teach Courage
We show you your own inner Wisdom
and share with you some of ours
We show you how to be Strong, emotionally
We let people Feel their PERSONAL POWER
… and man, it feels GREAT!
I don't think I will EVER go back to being a Victim again. Not ever.
It works! I'm here to tell you, as my own biggest Testimonial, it works!
I have come soooo far -- from really, really Wimpy, and totally Naïve (ask my wife, she'll tell you -- e-Gads, I was dumb as a stump).
I'm not Billy Bad-ass now, still. I have a ways to go yet, but hey, I do feel like a MAN now, that I never felt before. I felt like a little child, pertending to act like a Man -- hoping no one would notice, or pull my covers. Not good.
Well, it got bad enough for me, that I took drastic action -- I went to this darned Weekend Workshop that my friend had invited me to. She was going and she one of the most powerful ladies I knew (still is). Anyway, she told me to come to her Graduation, which I did. As soon as I got inside and felt the ENERGY in the room, I knew this was for ME.
I got up in the middle of the Graduation to go find someone to SIGN ME UP. (Back then, it was over $450, so that was no small decision). I went to the next workshop I could, LOVED IT (as I knew I would), IT CHANGED MY LIFE, and never stopped. I knew way back then that this was my calling in life, to bring these workshops to the world.
I was hooked (and still am, 18 years later)!
I went to the class to learn about me. Then I took the Instructor Course to
learn how to help others. I brought both my parents, my sister, my best friend,
anyone I could find to...
See how much PERSONAL POWER they have bottled up inside.
Learn what HAVING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE can feel like.
Wonder and bask in the glow of NOT feeling Angry for once in my life.
come join us.
Buy Now
After doing this for awhile I have come to see that
PEOPLE REALLY DON'T KNOW THEMSELVES VERY WELL.
I have seen people who are whiney victims, become amazing people.
I have seen people who were at that last, last hope for something to work (seriously,
we've had more than one student say "this is it. I was planning to end
my life this weekend, but I thought I'd give it one last chance with this
workshop.")
I have seen people full of shame, and guilt, and embarrassment, to the point
that they couldn't leave the house.
Imagine having the nerve to be choosey about your partner, when you feel like you are the lowest slug in the world. Of course, you are going to let people beat you up, and control you, and put you down -- as long as they DON'T LEAVE ME.
Here's what else I am here to tell you --
You care more than you let on.
You need Love, more than you want to admit.
Your body is full of unexpressed Feelings and Emotions.
You are basing your adult life on decisions you made as a small child.
… that's the bad news.
Here's the good news...
You have more personal power than you think you do.
You will be Amazed at the ALIVENESS you can create
You have more feelings than you think.
You can TAKE CONTROL of your life WAY MORE than you currently believe!
---
Helping Services
Free Write in, answer when we can, Ask-a-Pro
$5 Group phone time, or IM
$20-30/hour Loving Support - listen, compassion, understanding, little advice
$30-100/hour Life Coach - trained professionals, assessments, tested learning
programs
$80-200/hour Business Coach - experienced, certified pros re: sales, marketing,
HR, teamwork, branding, positioning
---
"
May I speak freely?"
- Michele
---
"
Fire 'em!"
- Doc
---
Secret = Fact + Shame
---
Learn to Trust and Love again (even if you've been burned)
Find Answers to: Why Do I Keep Doing This?
Understand Yourself and Others
Take control of your Anger, Guilt and Depression
Heal your Past and Shape Your Future
Make your life FEEL ALIVE!
Practical teachings to Improve your daily Life experience.
Powerful, lasting results.
Make "real" new friends -- you'll be amazed how close you can feel as we grow, learn and laugh together, in an safe, intimate, transformational weekend experience. Join us.
whatchathink?
ok, let me try again...
I just read thru the CIS's from last class (duh, never thought of that before).
Here's what they said they wanted:
connect,
trust again,
fun,
happiness,
stop destructive behaviours
make better life decisions
how to deal with my past
be more open
divorce
answers
why I attract the wrong men
why I continue to ...
learn to feel again
how about these?
Understand Yourself and Others
Stop Punishing Yourself with Guilt
Reconnect with your Peace, Trust and Love Heal your Past & Shape your Future
FEEL YOUR LIFE COME ALIVE AGAIN!
"
Sell them what they Want,
then teach what they Need."
---
Describe:
Open vs. Closed heart
Trusting vs. Untrusting (usually of self)
self-processing
dealing with Anger, esp. at oneself
Forgiveness = Letting Go of pain - it’s for YOU!
doesn't mean Acceptance
Active feelings vs. inactive Awareness (less painful)
---
Call us if:
You want MORE control of your life.
You want to CARRY LESS PAIN.
You want to BE ANGRY LESS often.
You want MORE LOVE.
You want MORE JOY.
You want MORE INTIMACY.
---
Good writeups of the Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs, with additional resources
http://web.utk.edu/~gwynne/maslow.HTM
http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/maslow.html
original wording, as written by Abraham Maslow in “Motivation and Personality” in
1943
Individuals who operate primarily at a particular level have considerably less
ability to understand higher levels. A person with strong ego needs, who acts
on satisfying those needs regularly, just doesn't understand the person who's
ego needs are fully satisfied and are totally engaged in a self-actualized
project. Such "ego driven" people would ask, "But, who's it
for?"
Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs
1. Food and water
2. Shelter and warmth
3. Safety & Security - we can help here, in case of emergency
4. Belonging - we are focused here
5. Self-actualization - we are working toward here
---
Guilt vs. Shame
Guilt = you did a bad thing
Shame = you are a bad person
Remedy: GIVE THEM BACK to where they came from
---
New Directions Weekend Workshop
"Getting to the Heart of the Matter."
---
We help people FEEL
We teach people HOW TO FEEL.
We teach people that they CAN FEEL.
We show them that it's OK TO FEEL.
We let them EXPRESS FEELINGS (in safe ways)
We show people that they have Personal Power and strength, far more than they
had ever imagined.
We let people experience their Anger, so they get to know it and get it under
control.
We hold people as they cry, for Sadness must be felt, accepted and released
We hold a pillow as Rage and Violation and Abuse are expelled
We attack our Depression with Anger, as our bodies can stand it no longer.
We calm people's Fears, for our bodies have wisdom to share with us... we must
listen, but we may not relent.
We let people FEEL, whatever it is they most need to FEEL.
We love and accept, support and encourage, hug and hold, laugh and cry.
"When Feelings are expressed as intensely as they are felt, they can
lessen and are free to change"
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT</em>
-----
<
Personal Responsibility
"
If it's to be, it's up to me."
- lament of those stuck in control, unable to obtain cooperation.
however, it's also TRUE. It's called Personal Responsibility… and it really works!
The happiest people I know are those who feel they have the power to make a difference in EVERY area of their lives. Not unrealistic, unachievable control, but the power to make a difference, at least inside ourselves.
I don't have to LIKE a situation… but I can adjust my attitude ABOUT that situation, to a place where it doesn't constantly bother me, eat at me, control me.
There are a lot of things we do NOT have the power to control -- some taxes, some gov't, some other countries -- but at the very least, we do have the power to control our Attitude about those things. Even if the things themselves are out of our control, we can choose to feel better about some things, or care less about some things that hurt, or even choose NOT to be afraid.
There is a damned thing I can do to stop a terrorist, if they plan out an anonymous, random attack on me (like the 911 victims). I cannot do anything about it, and I REFUSE to live in daily fear of that totally random attack happening. They want to make it miserable for us… and I will not relent to that.
-----
I think we can do with Emotions, what Thomas did with Coaching.
Coaching in general
Dr. Phil
the Reality shows
nationwide
movement
attitude
way of being
a church
a religion
something to believe in
a way of life
a thought to subscribe to
a system of beliefs
a knowing
an experiencing
a life-giver, life-sustainer
an adventure
---
One of the greatest lessons we learn in class is how to LISTEN.
fully, completely, with our whole being.
we have the experience of being able to TOTALLY give our attention, love, concern,
support to another person.
What an Awesome skill to have…
to be a good listener
to be able to Be There for people, for your friends, for your family, for your
kids
wow.
that's something I want on my tombstone.
he was a good listener.
yep.
just for awhile, we can 'not matter', let go of all need for attention and
ego strokes, let go of having to be right
let go of needing to make a point, let go of any needs at all
… and just be there…
… Listening …
… and getting a tissue, or a glass of water
and letting someone vent
and just listen
and do not judge
and do not condemn
and do not take sides
and just be << with >>
hold their hand if they are afraid
hold a pillow for them, or point them to the floor by the couch or bed… where
they can wail away on anyone they so choose.
let them scream
let them cry
let them say whatever it is they need to say
to get it out
to get it ALL out
it doesn't all need to be said, but it all needs to be Released
the words don't really matter… it's the feeling. the emotion. the passion
that's what needs to come out
and Let go of.
remember, we don't carry stuff around unless it's serving some purpose for
us
like validation
or confirmation
or REMINDER
ahhhhh ! ! !
Boundaries
always boundaries, working within parameters
we are never so free, that we are free to be brutal or vicious
"
I love my Boundaries… they set me Free!"
It doesn't mean you are 'broken'… it just means you have more pain or
anger than you are still carrying.
You may be doing fine… physically, financially, socially, spiritually… any or all of the above. Although we can help in all those areas, a decision to take the class is NOT an admittance that you can't handle it… that you are broken… or out of control. It just means that:
----
Those Voices
Yes, those tiny voices that gets stuck in your head... other people's, family
members, our judgments of ourselves… some long past, some recent... some
of them nag at us, and won't leave us alone. You know, stuff like "you
can't do that!" or "No Way!" or "Get away from me." Sometimes
they are actual words, sometimes they are just a feeling, or a judgment that
was put on us.
Sometimes, after a while of hearing, feeling (and trying to ignore) those voices, we "give in" and just friggin' do whatever they were saying to, or come to believe, as they do, that we are no good. Or we could get mad and do the opposite, and try to prove ourselves.
Either way are we not "in control"... the voices are.
Our job, I think, is to hear not only the LOUD, obvious voices, but also the soft, nagging, persistent ones. If we carry the voices with us, that means we have an "issue" that needs to be cleaned up or discarded. There is an emotional hook that needs to be identified, accepted and released.
Sit quietly, alone, with no distractions and no noise and just listen. Hear what's going on inside your head... just listen. You'll hear them. Now decide. Who's right and who's not. Who stays and who goes. Whose voices are you willing to continue to carry and whose will you discard (rightfully, completely and aggressively, if necessary).
We hereby take control of our minds, our thoughts, our beliefs and our feelings.
Issue = pain (or anger or other negative emotion)
Pain must be released, or it drives us (consciously or unconsciously)
Release of pain = Emotional HEALTH and happiness!!
---
Feelings: Understand 'em, Accept 'em, Express 'em appropriately
Emotions: You take control of them, or they will take control of you
ND: Know yourself, Understand people, Take control of your Life
Once a graduate, always a friend.
Life: Understand it, Own it, LOVE it!
---
Quotes
"
What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the
child
and the feeble mentality of the average adult."
- Sigmund Freud
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
There is more to life than increasing its speed."
-- Mahatma Gandhi
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
We often spend so much time coping with problems along our path that we only
have a dim or even inaccurate view of what's really important to us."
- Peter Senge
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything
outside ourselves will affect us."
- Stephen Covey
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
We add to our own pain and suffering by being overly sensitive,
over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally."
- His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write,
but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
- Alvin Toffler
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
Emotional intelligence, 'can matter as much as IQ'
in determining a person's well-being and effectiveness in life."
- Dr. Claude Steiner
-------------------------------------------------------------
"
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)
---
3 core issues, per Coach T (actually 12 core dynamics broken down by Peter
Gregory)
Resisting feeling things fully.
Looking for yourself where you are not.
Trying to force an outcome.
---
"Here are Three Reasons Why I Priced The
New Directions Weekend Workshop
at an Affordable $199"
FIRST REASON: I want you to absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of information and tools you get in the weekend, compared to the investment I'm asking you to make. Imagine being so impressed and excited about the workshop that you can't wait to tell all your family and friends to go to the next weekend they can!
You see, we've been teaching ND for over 17 years now. When we started, the weekend (same length as now) was $465. We did get clients, but it was painful for them to come up with that much money all at once. So we dropped the price to only $199 so more people could take advantage of the awesome experience of the New Directions weekend.
SECOND REASON: I truly
THIRD REASON: I wanted to make sure that you have an IMMEDIATE PAYBACK from the weekend. I guarantee that after the weekend, you will feel more ALIVE, ALERT and FEELING GREAT! At this price point, it's a "no brainer" to sign-up today.
Sincerely,
<< OLE Object: StdOleLink >>
<< OLE Object: StdOleLink >>
Matt Perelstein
Co-owner and Instructor, Directions Unlimited
P.S. If you have any questions that you'd like to ask me personally before signing up for the New Directions Weekend Workshop, please feel free to call me at the number below. If I'm not in, simply leave me a detailed message and I will call you back as fast as I can.
Matt@2GetHelp.com - Office Phone 916-599-8597
----
I met a lady who was hurting. I talked to her, via email, maybe 3-4 times.
I said, "give me $199 and a weekend and I will make you Happy."
She said "it's hard for me to trust, but I will give you the money and
take the class."
after class, I asked her how she felt. was it worth it, I asked.
She only said, "Wow!" and smiled from ear to ear.
And the next class she came back with her boys.
So she could pass on her happiness to others
---
Educating your Heart, as well as your Mind
----
Negative Right-Brain Experiences & Flashbacks
+
Positive Right-Brain Experiences & Flashbacks
+
Positive Left-brain Knowledge
=
Personal Power (Freedom Joy Balance Love) Choices
---
here's how it happened to me, and here's how I see it happening in other people:
on specific ISSUES, there is a progression,
From Bleeding to Healing
stop the bleeding - if you're really hurting, you gotta get that OUT of your
SYSTEM. Somehow.
trust me, it's coming out anyway… but not in ways you might want it to
be!
like blasting your family or your co-workers, or your friends.
like getting in arguments regularly
guys become a-holes, women become b_'s
you're unhappy. you're unfulfilled. you're Frustrated. you've friggin' Angry
Aaaahhhhhh !!!
you can feel it boiling
you can spit nails
you face is hot, your teeth and fists are clenched and your blood's pumping
hard.
you're boiling ANGRY!
but you don't know what to do with it.
you are ready to explode, but How? Where? When? At or On Whom?!?
Learn ways to:
Be Aware of What You Feel
----
That's True... if you know not WHAT it is you are supposed to learn, you at
least know there IS something there to learn. It will soon become very evident
WHAT. I say, pick-up your feet and enjoy the ride.
I realized last night...
Neat thing about being "aware" is that now we just "realize" things.
The learning is not a struggle, nor even requires much of our concentrated
attention... somehow the lessons know they are Allowed and even Welcome. We
open our minds and spirits to receive and Wham, here they come. too cool.
keep letting go...
----------
when I see the bold, I kinda say it louder in my head. more like a Command.
a little louder, a little stronger, if done well, it becomes Very Loud. so
learn to use it wisely.
see robin's eBook for great example
from negative, to wishy-washy, to more wishy-washy, to confused, to aware,
to conscious, to understanding, to In Charge.
in pain, then Increasing for a short time, then radically decreasing - as we
become aware of "issues", face 'em head on, beat 'em, and come back
up to live life, more in control, from here on.
---
We "deal" with our feelings. They are there, underlying everything,
coloring our world, whether we like them or not.
The question is:
"Am I in charge of my feelings and emotions and behaviors, or are they in charge of ME?!?"
Who runs the show, in your body?
If you get pissed about something, what do you do with that feeling?
Do you stuff it inside, into that long, nasty list of things that piss you
off, that you're unhappy and grumpy about?
Does it become just another thing that the world handed you, that you can't
do anything about.
Is it another irritation, and another problem, and another set-back, until
you are just Ready to BLOW?!?
Well, we call that "stuffing our feelings".
that's a bad thing.
We like to say
"feelings need to be expressed, as intensely as they were felt."
so do you go blow up at your boss, tell him or her Exactly what you think of them and where they shove this job??
maybe, and maybe not. (sounds good, tho, doesn't it?)
You see, when our Emotions are High, our Logic is Low. When we are feeling a lot, our emotions kinda take over our brain it makes it hard to think clearly. They get real LOUD, and obnoxious sometimes.
But again, I ask… Are you in charge of your emotions and feelings, or are they in charge of you?
When you get angry, do you lash out without thinking?
when you are hurt, do you immediately cover it up with anger, and then lash
out without thinking?
do you say hurtful things when you are hurt?
or do you go further inside yourself?
getting more depressed.
feeling down and blue and hopeless.
until you can't hardly function, 'cause the weight of the world is dragging
you down?
or have you developed your own unique way of dealing with your feelings?
so my next question to you is:
"Is what you're doing getting you what you want, in the long run?"
is your life going the way you want it to?
do you Feel the way you want to Feel most of the time?
are you as Happy and Loving and Free as you want to be?
or is life winning? are you letting 'em get to you?
Come to New Directions for a weekend. Let us show you that there is another way to experience life.
on our terms
feeling what we WANT TO FEEL
choosing from our full box of emotional tools, at the right time, in the appropriate
fashion, with the best energy.
Where else are you gonna learn this stuff -- in the school of hard knocks? We've all been there, but damn, we don’t have to stay there. We can rise about it all and live our lives happy and free, no matter what the world throws at us.
ND grads aren't perfect, but they are a damned site better to be around then their shut-down, out-of-touch, whining, victimized, blaming counterparts.
We are responsible for ourselves - our lives, our feelings and our behaviours.
Let's take responsibility for our emotional lives right now.
Either click here ->
or pick up the phone and call Carrol.
Your life will be better, from now on.
---
1 more note... if you are trying to introduce the course to someone, Invite
them to Graduation. At graduations, people get to FEEL the great energy,
see the smiling faces, watch the hugging and the joy on people's faces.
that's where it all started for me...
back in 1985, I was a mess. I had a good job, a
The job was great, as VP of a computer-store franchiser, I got to travel, make million-dollar deals and get courted by some very large computer manufacturers, wanting me to stock their wares in our warehouse. I was on top of my game, business-wise.
And I had a nice wife. She liked me ok and I liked her ok, but there was no passion between us.
And I wasn't happy. I was lost, wanting more, but not knowing what, or where to find it... no less how to go about getting it.
---
If you continue to be pissed off at someone, or somebody, who's in charge?
It makes you a Victim of that event or person… and that's probably
the LAST thing you want to feel in that situation.
Let's say someone hurt you and angered you, bad. You don't like what they did. You don't want to talk to them, ever again. You lost respect for them, and you are Angry.
What do you do about it? What's your plan for handling your anger, when it comes up (and trust me, it will)?
Being in control of our lives means we use what we know, to live the best way we can, and prepare for the future as best we can, so when the unexpected arises (and the expected, too), we have the right "tools" in our emotional toolbox to effectively manage whatever life throws us.
---
Our Emotional Toolbox
When stuff is broken or tweaked or loose, we try to fix it, right? Well, first
we notice that it needs attention. Once it gets irritating enough, we decide
we are gonna do something about it. We go to the Toolbox for the right tool
to put the irritant back in working condition, so we can forget about it again.
In our toolbox, we have various tools that we use to help us change (fix) the things we want to work on.
"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."
- Abraham H. Maslow
In our home toolbox, we probably have the following:
_ Toolbox
screwdrivers
hammer
pliers
wrenches
sockets
nails
duct tape
Now, let's say something goes badly within your family. People aren't speaking to each other. There are nasty looks and long faces and the only communication is glaring, nasty looks. What do you do?
Dig into your emotional toolbox, of course.
Emotional Toolbox
Anger
Fear
Depression
Sadness
Personal Power
Self-Esteem
You've probably heard the phrase "Use the right tool for the job."
The cool part is that your emotional toolbox is Always with you. No matter where you go, or whom you are with, or what life throws at you… your emotional toolbox is there, ready to serve you at a moment's notice.
As a teenager, did you leave your original family with an emotional toolbox FULL of wonderful, joyous, effective tools that you can use in your daily life to make your life experience Light and Free and Easy?
yeah, well, I didn't either.
but I have found a way to collect my own tools. I found a way to enrich those tools, and practice using them in a safe place. I found a place where I would be accepted and encouraged and taught about the emotional tools that exist, how EASY THEY ARE ACQUIRE, and how much difference they can make in my life!
They're free, they work, and they are yours… if you just reach-out and ask for them. We'll teach you about your feelings. We'll show you how they work, why they work, where they came from, and what to do with them. You'll get a chance to practice, too, in a loving, safe, encouraging environment the Promotes growth and love. People don't fail at New Directions… not ever. If you choose not to do something we ask you do, say "no, thank you.". If we try to take you places that aren't comfortable and are too big a stretch right now, no problem. opt-out.
but if you are ready to make some big changes in your life.
if you are ready to
Turn your Anger into Love,
your Sadness into Joy,
and your Depression into Personal Power?!?
Then stand-up and say "I am THROUGH Being a Victim!!!"
"and I am FINISHED Blaming Others… and Myself!"
I Choose to Feel Alive!!!
---
Learning about your FEELINGS, and how they work, puts you in control of EVERYTHING, Every situation, every contact, every moment of every day!! That's hard to beat.
Am I wrong? Is there a time where you Don't need
- to understand what's happening inside you
- to choose the appropriate emotion
- at the right time
- get your True Intentions across
- Learn to communicate
get your feelings across
feel Heard
feel Validated
to Ask for what you want
We build Strength of Character
After taking the class a few times, people from ND are Braver.
Get your family speaking again
Clear the air
bury the hatchet
You know you have some huge issue(s) hanging over everyone's head… maybe someone screwed up in a big way, or someone lost their temper and said some mean nasty things that couldn't be taken back.
There's something dampening the spirit of your relationship -- and you're sick of it hanging there. We don't let people get mean, and call names, or hit, or attack. People can only express their true, responsible feelings, and how that affected them… no dysfunctional stuff. We can help you clear the air, get resolution, break down the walls that separate you from the closeness you want, and know you can have, but can't quite make it happen. Get some help. We will help you patch up those ill-wills to bring closeness and understanding and forgiveness, perhaps like NEVER BEFORE.
Benefits for coming
happier
feel better
more satisfied with life
more control
simplify
get back to your roots
what's the problem
feel bad
life isn't going the way they want
lecture, intro
get 'em feeling what you want
openness, learning mode, loving, trusting, but aware
close up, protected, powerful, a bit angry, more armor
strong
"The world fights wars cause they don't understand Power, they get Tuff.
and greedy."
- PKP, 9.19.3
I started out by designing, building, and advertising the site.
You know what sucks. I had so little help and support that one day, when I just stopped doing 2gh… nobody said a flippin' word. not 1. how did I put that off? whatever. do it different next time.
"Whatever" = anger, "I'm going to act like I don't care, even
tho' it hurts."
"
whatEver" - show the dif., Audio
"
Duh!" = judgment, stupid, obvious, put-down, makes you feel better and
makes the other person feel worse.
phrases that make you feel better and makes the other person feel worse.
"
duh!"
"
I told you so."
"
Take popular phrases and analyze them, show what they mean, feeling-wise.
-------------------------------
Emotions and Feelings
-------------------------------
that's us
that's the niche
that's the newsletter
a quote
Accentuate the Positive, Ignore the Negative
Yes, market toward women!
Definitely!
"
The great thing in this world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
The Last Great Adventure - The Journey Inward
The ONLY way to be totally In Control of your life.
Understanding yourself.
Being able to control yourself.
Being able to act & react Totally Consciously, and Have Choices, at ALL
times (well, as many as you can anyway).
You no longer React, out of your control. You Choose your behaviours, and your
feelings. You trust yourself. You feel good about yourself. You know who you
are and where you are going.
Imagine your worst enemy.
Follow this…
you're at work
your boss is pissed
you're shaking a bit inside
he walks right up to you
and says gruffly
"Why wasn't this done?"
you smile gently
you stand your ground
you explain why it was late, and how it was a perfectly good reason.
you assure him that when the good reason goes away, this certainly is one of
your priorities and it will be done, well.
you speak in kind, but powerful words.
you re-assure him, 'cause you understand stress. and you know he's scared,
too. and you have bad days sometimes too.
you touch his arm once in a while as you talk, to gentle him down and know
you are on the same team.
you know it's not sexual (or it is), because you understand yourself, and you
know who you're after for a love relationship and who you're not.
you understand love.
you can give it freely, accept it with open arms and let it fill you up to
Bursting, the caring, the warmth, the fullness of it all.
you give love to humanity, to dogs, and cats, and children, and the elderly,
and the handicapped, and the sick… those less fortunate than you
and to your friends, and your family (well, at least to the nice ones… you
ignore the yucky ones).
you love your friends, openly and honestly. sometimes you can't help doing stuff for them.
Accentuate the Positive, Ignore the Negative
IDEA
do a brochure and just Talk to people.
have my picture sitting on the floor
maybe ND is gonna be me
what a delicate balance of feelings and connections I will need to ride.
find a simple, unique way to accentuate certain words.
If there is distance between you, one of the Best things that we do in New Directions is to create "connections" -- true, deep, life-changing understanding and appreciation for other humans, so that real bonding can occur. Very difficult to create on your own. People kept saying that the last class in Fresno created "incredible bonding". Once you experience your feelings with each other, and these are accepted and understood, you will be amazed at close you will feel.
Using Verbs, rather than adjectives
instruct
guide
convey
show
lead
direct
counsel
suggest
help
mentor
manage
rudder
teach
tutor
usher
navigate
supervise
facilitate
sherpa
hint
advise
coach
warn
beacon
manual
text
directory
handbook
text
rudder
sails
motto
values
brotherhood
fellowship
union